Trailer Review: Jurassic World Trailer

The trailer for Jurassic World came out a few days ago and I thought I'd comment, June cannot come fast enough. 

Movie Reviews: The Rescuers Down Under (1990)

The Rescuers Down Under, the odd man out in the Renaissance Era of Disney. 

Video Game Review: The Evil Within

Title: The Evil Within
Developers: Tango Gameworks
Publisher: Bethesda Software
Genre: Survival Horror
Platforms: Xbox 360, Xbox One, Playstation 3, Playstation 4, PC
Reviewed On: Xbox One

Well, I am not going to forget some of the stuff I saw in this game. Don't think of that as a negative, it's a positive for some absolutely awesome art direction and work. While Alien: Isolation leaned more towards the sterile, metallic atmosphere of the 70's Alien film, The Evil Within thrives on showing the stuff of nightmares. If you have a weak stomach for gore, I would not advise this, it goes all-out on the horrifying gore factor. For the rest of you, and you fans of Resident Evil 4, you definitely need to consider this one.

The Evil Within has a strong pedigree. Directed by the man who is considered the grandfather of survival horror, Shinji Mikami, the creator of the Resident Evil series, he has done a great job bringing his brand of survival/action horror to the next-generation of consoles, despite a few flaws that can hamper the game. He is helped by the people in his studio, Tango Softworks, many of whom worked at reputable companies before, including Platinum Games, Clover Studios, and Capcom.

The strongest part of the game is the atmosphere. It seems that The Evil Within wants you to feel trapped in the nightmares of an insane man, and it has done this perfectly. You will travel through mental hospitals, forests, medieval villages, and crumbling cities, all brought to life beautifully. The forests are dark, the hospitals are dirty and bloody, and it all creates the feeling of being trapped in a world of Insanity brought to life. There is some great sound design that really helps too, from dripping blood, to roaring chainsaws, that completes the nightmare.

The gameplay present here will feel instantly familiar to fans of the acclaimed Resident Evil, and third-person shooters, with a few tweaks and enhancements present. The game plays as an over-the-shoulder third-person shooter, with guns used for combat, and a basic melee attack. The main strength of the gameplay is that it truly feeling like survival horror. Ammo is limited for your weaponry, and creative use of both it and the environment is a must. The game is usually fair about this however, and there is always a way to survive through the clever use of the environment. Traps litter places where fighting is the only option, along with enough ammo littered around to get by, and if you are smart with using both of these tools, you will survive. Fire is an important weapon as well. Matches can be used to burn both corpses on the ground, and enemies on the ground, allowing for some quick kills, if you are creative enough.

The gameplay is not perfect however, with one of the negative sides also being the lack of ammo. There are sections where you are forced to fight, and the game will be very stingy with its ammo. This can lead to some very frustrating trial-and-error tactics, which are never fun to do. Thankfully, I found that these sections are quite rare, as there are usually alternative tactics to use then just straight shooting. There is also the core control scheme of the game. The game does control like an improved (except for the aiming) version of Resident Evil 4. This works great when enemies are at a distance, and starts to break apart when enemies are close to you. The aiming is the main problem here, with its awkwardness showing at full force with enemies in close range. So then just melee the guy! Melee in this game is a very last resort type of attack. It doesn't do much damage, and really only serves to get enemies away from you. This can lead to a lot of frustration, although it is an understandable decision made by the developer. You are fighting monsters, how much good can punching them really do.

Stealth is also an available tactic, but this aspect of the game feels a bit tacked-on. You can crouch to stay out of sight, throw bottles as a distraction, and even perform stealth kills on unaware enemies. When this aspect works, it works well, and allows you to clear out large portions of enemies with little to no resource use, if you are skilled enough. But many times in the game, stealth will not be an option for you to use. This is partially because of forced combat sections, and because of the AI of the enemies in the game. The AI can feel cheap at times, and immediately turn around when you are just outside of the stealth kill range, and ruin any plans you have. While this can feel like a screw-up on your part sometimes, there are quite a few times when it just feels like the AI has a sixth-sense for sneaking detectives.

The variety of metal-shooters in the game is great. There are close to 6 or 7 types of different weapon types within the game, with different unlockable and findable weapons for each type.The sound and feeling of these guns are great too. Pistols feel like pistols, with several rapid pops, and shotguns go off with a loud and damaging bang. The standout weapon of the game, however, is the Agony Crossbow. Parts can be found in the world, and collected from disarmed traps, and can be used to create ammunition for the Agony Crossbow. The disarming traps aspect allows for depth and choice, do you use the traps against your enemies, or use the parts to create powerful ammunition for your crossbow? The Crossbow itself also has a variety of ammunition, from exploding bolts, to harpoon bolts, and with some creativity, can be one of the most powerful weapons in the game.

As for the storyline, it starts off great, with you having no knowledge of what is causing the horrors you see, and you slowly discover this over time. It loses some of its steam later on in the game though, and while not terrible, the story is average at best. The characters, by far, are the weakest aspect of the story. Sebastian Castellanos is any average, gruff guy detective, although slowly discovering his backstory over the course of the game is interesting at least. The side characters are a bit more interesting, although not much time is spent with them. The villain, however, is the best character. He is not the most interesting character, but his backstory is well told through play, rather than cutscenes, and this allows for a more interesting character to develop.

All in all, Shinji Mikami has shown with The Evil Within that he and his group of developers can still pull off great survival horror games in this next-generation. There are flaws in the game, mainly the storyline, some awkward controls, and frustrating encounters, but there is a lot of good here. The atmosphere here is top notch, and the gameplay, when it works, is a lot of fun. The Evil Within gives me a lot of hope for the future of Tango Gameworks, and I hope that they continue to improve and perfect their future projects.

Final Score: 7 out of 10

Video Game Review: Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!

Title: Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!
Developers: 2K Australia, Gearbox Software
Genre: RPG, Shooter, Role-Playing Shooter, co-op shooter
Platforms: Xbox 360, Playstation 3, PC
Reviewed On: Xbox 360

Well, the addiction kicked back in, that same addiction that kicked in when I first started playing the original Borderlands, and the one that came right back when I started Borderlands 2. For those of you worried about the The Pre-Sequel, about whether the new developer, 2K Australia, could make Borderlands properly, you can put most of those worries to rest. Despite a fair few flaws in the game, this is Borderlands, through and through.

The game is set on Elpis, the moon of Pandora, the one that was all cracked, and had a Hyperion moonbase on it that shot robots at you, and on that moonbase itself. The storyline, as the name suggests, is a prequel to Borderlands 2, showing just how Handsome Jack became the hilarious sociopath he is in Borderlands 2, and just how he came into control of Hyperion, and the moon base, Helios. This creates several interesting gameplay changes, and map changes, that 2K Australia have put to use, both for good and bad.

If you have played Borderlands 2, you know almost exactly what you are in for. For those of you who haven't played Borderlands, here's the rundown. The game plays as a shooter version of Diablo. You create a character, choosing from 1 of 4 preset characters, along with 3 other friends, if you like, each with their own abilities and skill trees that are all interesting in their own right, with different abilities to help you fight, or help the team fight. As you level up, you get stronger and stronger, building the skill tree of your character. All of this, is in service of the loot system at the heart of the game. This game, is about guns. Guns here, guns there, guns EVERYWHERE. There are millions of guns in the game, and each gun chest is randomized for which it gives you. No two players will ever have the same loadout of guns, shields, and class mods.

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel has not changed the base gameplay. The great looting and tight shooting are here, unchanged. 2K Australia did add several elements, that fit great into the moon setting of the game. Due to the low gravity, players can now jump much higher than in the previous games. This adds a great element of verticality to the gunfights, and provides more options for the player when their shields run low, rather than just ducking behind cover. Being on the moon, there is also the fact that there is no oxygen on the moon, which means that an O2 helmet is required, and adds oxygen as a resource, which slowly drains when outside on the moon's surface. The extra oxygen also allows for an extra boost in mid-jump, which makes it easier to reach taller or farther ledges, and allows for the self-titled "butt slam", a slam which, when done high enough, creates an area-of-effect shockwave. This is great for dealing with groups of lower level enemies, instead of wasting bullets on them.

The team also added new weapon types to the already stupid amount of weapons in the game. One is a new elemental type for all weapon types in the game, and that would be Cryo weapons. Cryo weapons do exactly what they sound like, they freeze enemies. This can be extremely useful for both crowd control, as you can freeze various enemies in a fight to stop them in their tracks, and for damage, as you do extra damage to frozen enemies, and shatter them when they are killed. The other weapon addition is an entirely new subset of weapons for use, lasers. Lasers have existed before in Borderlands 2, as E-Tech weapons, but they were extremely rare and powerful. Lasers have been bumped up to a regular use weapon. There are a variety of different ones for use, everything from shotgun lasers to rifle lasers to a Ghostbusters style laser, which is dependent on the manufacturer of the weapon. Laser weapons can also have elemental damage attached to them. If you looked at me and told me you wouldn't enjoy a Ghostbusters laser gun that freezes people, I'd call you a damn liar.

I'm sure you're also curious about the classes available for you to choose from. Like the past two games, there are four classes to choose from. Unlike Borderlands 1 and 2, that had some common classes between them, the characters present in The Pre-Sequel have totally unique skills between them all. First is Wilhelm the Enforcer, a character that was present as a large robotic boss in Borderlands 2. Wilhelm's special skill is Wolf and Saint, this allows Wilhelm to throw out two robots for combat. One robot, Wolf, is the combat bot, and assists in combat, while his other robot, Saint, acts as a support for the players. The second character, Athena, who made a cameo in the General Knoxx DLC from the first game, uses the skill Kinetic Aspis, which allows her to pull out a kinetic shield which charges from gunfire, and can be thrown. The third character is Nisha, a boss from Borderlands 2, uses the Showdown skill, which lets Nisha lock on to enemies when firing. The final character, Claptrap, a character present through both games, has arguably the most interesting skill, VaultHunter.exe. This skill reads the battlefield, choosing several variables, and gives the player a skill based on the variables. Claptrap has a large variety of different skills available, and the developers made sure to make each one useful to the situation, including causing the team to be uncontrollably bouncy. The only issue I have with the characters, is that Claptrap is the most interesting, while the others are rather ho-hum. This means you'll probably see a lot of Claptraps when playing online.

It's not all bouncing and butt-slams though, as the oxygen resources leads into one of the games biggest problems, namely, the environments. There are large expanses of the moon that, while pretty to look at, are empty. While the new Moon Buggy and Stinger do help somewhat with this, there a a fair few areas that do not allow vehicles, and the areas that do allow them are full of death pits. These lead to a lot of frustration and time spent driving around the pits, or dying in them. There are also geysers littered around the moon that can fill up your Oxygen, and while the dev team tried to make these geysers plentiful, there can still be times that you will need to backtrack again  and again, just to fill your oxygen. At least until the second half of the game, the map design is the weakest part of The Pre-Sequel. Its a shame, since the maps can be quite fun to jump around in and admire, when they are not killing you.

This leads to another flaw of the game, the storyline and characters. There are many new characters introduced in The Pre-Sequel, most of which have an Australian accent and use Australian slang. This may get a laugh or two, but many of the new main characters are fairly hit-or-miss, leaning more to the miss category for me personally. The quests are fairly creative and fun to play through, but the characters are a mixed bag. There are many returning characters however, and their writing is as fun and creative as ever. This really shows in the later half of the game, when the dialog leans more towards the returning characters, rather than the new ones.

All in all, I really liked Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel. It's still damn fun to grab a few buddies, a few beers, and play split-screen/system link through the game, despite the fairly large flaws in the gameplay. That said, this one is for the Borderlands fans, as this game carries the same gameplay from Borderlands 2, flaws and all. For those of you that enjoyed Borderlands 1 and 2, feel free to pick up The Pre-Sequel, you'll enjoy it. As for the rest of you that don't enjoy Borderlands, don't bother, The Pre-Sequel won't change your mind.

Final Score: 7 out of 10

Religion Sucks!

Religion is a persistent beast that just won't die! As George Carlin so eloquently put it,"I have a low tolerance level for stupid bullshit!".

Movie Review: The Little Mermaid (1989)

Gorgeous animation, kick-ass songs and Jodi Benson's stellar voice, what's not to like?

Video Game Review: Alien: Isolation

Title: Alien: Isolation

Release Date: October 7th

Genre: Survival Horror

Platforms: Xbox 360, Xbox One, Playstation 3, Playstation 4, PC
Reviewed On: Xbox One

As I lay underneath a table, watching the Alien slowly slide out of a ventilation opening, the Alien fanboy in myself was screaming both with terror and with joy, knowing he had found something special in Alien: Isolation. Finally, a game that treats the original H.R. Geiger monster, and the franchise, in general, with the respect it deserves.

The game is set 15 years after the original Alien film, with the player taking on the role of Amanda Ripley, the daughter of Ellen Ripley, and a technicial at the familiar Weyland-Yutani. Amanda has been searching for her mother, and finally catches a break when the black box of the Nostromo is recovered, and stored on the space station Sevastopol. She joins several other Weyland-Yutani employees to recover it, and finds a station in absolute chaos.

If you get learn one thing from this review, let it be this, the atmosphere of this game is some of the best I have ever seen. The amount of love and detail that went into the environments to recreate the original Alien aesthetic is absolutely mind-boggling. There is not a single item that feels out of place in the futuristic, utilitarian environment, and every part of it would fit perfectly into the original Alien film. Everything has a very mechanical, 1970's sci-fi feel to it, there are no sleek, iPod designs in this game, from the large-pixel hacking device and DOS and CRT-monitor computers, to the green, blinky, and bulky motion detector, looks retro, yet are highly functional. Sevastapol is also full of florescent lights, and metallic hallways, with perfect lighting to ramp up the tension.

The sound design is also phenomenal, and truly completes the atmosphere of the game. I give the sound team a lot of credit, as they did an amazing job of recreating the sound of the original film, and Alien fans will recognize plenty of sound effects from the first film. The station creaks and shifts as your footsteps echo through the empty corridors. As you walk, you can always hear something crawling through the vent system, you will never feel truly safe on Sevastapol. The Alien was also treated great in this department. It's truly a rush, as you hear the Alien stomping down a hallway towards you, and hissing in frustration when it cannot find you.

As for the gameplay, this is some of the best survival horror gameplay I have seen in a long time. What sets it apart from other horror games, is that you cannot fight the Alien. Don't even try. It can also run a lot faster than you, and will get you if you try to run. Your only option is to hide from it, and Sevastapol is not short on places to cower. There is an unmatched rush, hiding in a locker, as you pull back and hold your breath, while the Alien sniffs inside. Many times, your best friend will be the beautifully recreated motion tracker, which will detect any movement in a large area. The team, however, was smart, and the motion tracker does have some flaws, to prevent it from becoming a crutch. The motion detector can detect motion all around you, but can only pinpoint it in front of you. It also cannot tell you whether the motion is on the same elevation of you, leading to some tense moments as you explore, not knowing whether the Alien will be in a vent hiding, or directly in front of you. The detector also beeps as it points out targets, and enemies can hear it if they are close enough, which can get you killed.

Stealth is your best friend in the game, as ammunition is extremely difficult to come by, and it is completely useless against the Alien, at least until a bit later in the game. It has great hearing, and will hear you if you sprint. This allows for great on-the-spot decision making, is it worth alerting the Alien to get to another room or objective? Running and hiding are not your only options, however, you have plenty of tools at your disposal, both found and crafted from items you scavenge around the station. These items can be used as distractions, or to defeat the humans and androids scattered around the station.

There are several threats aboard the Sevastapol, not just the Alien. Androids called Working Joes stalk the halls, while humans group together hoping to survive. Both can be killed through conventional means, however, the Androids are exceptionally strong, and take several wrench hits or bullets to take down, making groups of them extremely dangerous, and even one can be a large drain on your limited resources. Humans generally have firearms, and travel in groups, but are easy to take down with a wrench hit or gun. Gunfiights are extremely discouraged, although quite doable. You don't want to deal with the Alien coming to investigate what all the gunfire is about, after all. The Androids, created by Seegson Corporation, are less advanced technologically than the Weyland-Yutani androids seen in the films, and are extremely creepy to see, due to their red, glowing eyes and rubber face masks.

But obviously, the Alien is the star of the show in the game, and the development team took this to heart, and recreated it in loving detail. The design is based on the original films design for the Alien, and it's model and animations look great. It has a very feminine walk, and it's tail slithers around corners and doors. The Alien also differs from many stealth games in the way that its AI works. It does not operate on a set path, and is unpredictable. You will never truly know where it will walk, or when it'll decide to hop down from a vent to give you a heart attack. The Alien also never truly leaves, you will always hear it crawling through the vents, looking for you, and going for the perfect strike.

That doesn't mean that the Alien's AI is entirely flawless, unfortunately. The sheer unpredictability can make the Alien a bit frustrating to sneak around, and there is a good chance you will sit for a long time for the Alien to walk off, only to have it come right back into the same room. This also makes the game extremely difficult, and you will die a lot, as the Alien can one-hit kill you. I never found the Alien to be unfair, it does have rules in it's AI routine that it follows, although some people may find it to be unfair.

Finally, we get to the story. The story is serviceable, and fun to play through, but nothing spectacular. The story generally deals with how the Alien was brought aboard and survived on the Sevastapol, with a few fairly foreseeable twists that fans of the films will see coming. Completionists will also find some recordings done by the crew of the Nostromo, giving some history and backstory to the terrible fate of the crew, which are a treat to find.

But now to the flaws of the game, of which there are a few. There are some parts of the game that just feel unpolished. I noticed that the Alien would clip into the textures of the locker sometimes as it sniffed for me, and the lip-syncing of some of the characters in the cutscenes and gameplay was kinda off, sometimes not even there, which works for making the androids creepy, but looks strange to see on a person across from you. The game also has some framerate drops at times, particularly in the later levels of the game. It's not enough to ruin the game, but can be quite jarring at times.

That said, despite all the flaws of the game, it is an absolute blast to play. They truly emphasized the "survival" aspect of survival horror game play, with scarce resources and unstoppable enemies, and an Alien enemy that is punishing in its unpredicatbility, but fair in the rules it follows. These things lead to some of the most tense gameplay I have experienced in a long time, and definitely make up for the flaws that exist in the game. Pick this up if you are a fan of survival horror, or a fan of the original Alien film. If you are both, it's a must buy, no question.

Final Score: 8.5 out of 10

Movie Review: Bambi (1942)

Bambi is the fifth and last movie of the Disney Golden Era, The one that chained Walt Disney's ambition for good (if not, it certainly helped). 

Movie Review: Dumbo (1941)

When Fantasia and Pinocchio put Disney in a bad financial situation, in comes Dumbo in 1941 to save them from the brink. Though it really shows that it was merely a quick profit scheme. A good one, but still. 

Movie Review: Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes

The sequel to 2011's Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. With Rise and now Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes under its belt, this reboot series has been quite impressive so far.

Movie Review: Fantasia (1940)

Walt Disney's third animated feature and by far his most ambitious, Fantasia is unlike any film in the entire Disney Chronology. 

Why Hate Gays?

Of all the things that people can have a passionate hatred for, homosexuality has got to be one of the most unjustifiable prejudices. There's literally no logical reason for hatred of gay people.

Movie Review: How To Train Your Dragon 2

I've been waiting for How To Train Your Dragon 2 for a long time. And now that it's finally here, I'm gonna go see it, and give my thoughts on it. 

Game Of Thrones Season 4 Review

Season 4 Of Game Of Thrones has finished its run, and I'm going to share my thoughts on this crazy, crazy season. A lot of shit went down this year ya'll!

TV Review: Dragons Riders/Defenders Of Berk

Like so many Dreamwork's movies, How To Train Your Dragon got it's own show, titled "Dragons Riders/Defenders Of Berk", on Cartoon Network. If this show is anything to go by, the others might be worth checking out.

Start at my recap of Episode 1:
http://thecriticalcanucks.blogspot.ca/2013/11/dragons-riders-of-berk-reviews-episode.html

Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 20 - Cast Out Part 2

We left off the last episode with Dagur and Savage taking Stoick hostage and Hiccup swearing to get him back, oh and the Screaming Death is coming for everyone's asses! It's the final episode of the season, so let's wrap this up.

The episode begins on Outcast Island, Dagur asks his special guest of honour if his accommodations are adequate. Stoick simply tells Dagur to go fuck himself with his facial expressions. Dagur takes note that the rope tied around him looks awfully tight, an Outcast takes that as an order to tighten his restraints even more. Dagur tells Stoick to sit back and relax. By the end of the day he'll either be back on Berk, or he'll mutilated fish feed. It all depends on Hiccup, Dagur gives Savage his ultimatum to deliver to Berk. 

The situation is not too well on Berk, the entire village is gathered in the Great Hall and are most likely yelling at Gobber about Stoick and what they're going to do. The Twins are not helping the situation by egging the villagers on, and only because they think an angry mob is awesome. Gobber pushes his way through and tells the crowd that Hiccup will answer their questions. As soon as Hiccup takes questions, the villagers want to take arms, man the catapults, and sail to Outcast Island to rescue Stoick. Hiccup can't keep them calm and under control. 

Snotlout thinks he's got what it takes to be a chief more than Hiccup does and pushes him aside. He gets Hookfang to light up, a spectacle for the crowd. But As Snotlout is about to give his grandiose speech, Tuffnut tell him he's on fire. Snotlout takes that as a compliment. He then notices he's on fire. 

Snotlout, let the men do the talking from now on.

With Snotlout's extremely brief takeover a complete and utter failure, Hiccup is back in the spotlight but still does't know what to say. Astrid tells him the to tell the crowd that they have nothing to worry about and he's got shit under control. Hiccup tells them exactly that, but they ain't buying that bullshit for on god damned minute. Astrid admits her idea worked much better on paper than it did in practice. 

Elsewhere, Fishlegs and Meatlug are scouting in the middle of the ocean. He looks around, but he finds no sign of any Berserker ships, he decides to head back and inform Hiccup. He finds something else however. Th Screaming Death plows it's way though a few Island rocks and appears to be calling for something, or maybe it's shouting out obscenities. Fishlegs hauls ass back to Berk. 

Hiccup is in the house, he finds the old axe from the movie and tries to life it. Gobber walks in and has a conversation with Hiccup about chiefing. He tries to make Hiccup feel better by saying that it sure as hell ain't easy, and that Stoick was a lost child when his day came. Hiccup can hardly believe it, but Gobber assures him that hardly anyone in town had it in him, Alvin for one. And we learn that Alvin and Stoick used to be best friend's. Hiccup wants to know what changed between, everything, Gobber simply says. But before they can explore this deeper . . . 

Hiccup!! We have a problem!!

Fishlegs reports the Screaming Death's last known position, Hiccup immediately rakes action and asks Fishlegs how much time they've got. Fishlegs think's they've got near jack shit for time. As if the situation couldn't possibly get any worse, Astrid brings Dagur's ultimatum to Hiccup. Hiccup reads Dagur's terms; They must deliver Toothless to Dagur by that night or Stoick will be flayed alive. His flesh will be chopped up and used as dragon feed, his bones will be their chew toys, and Dagur will wear his skin as a winter coat and his skull as a helmet. 

Astrid wisely suggests that it's a 99.99% chance that it's a ruse, if they go anywhere near Outcast Island they most likely won't be leaving. Hiccup decides to get two birds stoned at once, he tells Astrid and Fishlegs to get Snotlout and the Twins and form a welcoming committee for the Screaming Death. He's gonna break his father out of Guantanamo Bay Outcast Island. How will he do this? 

He goes to the Academy to recruit Alvin's help. Alvin asks Hiccup how his town meeting went, and mocks him about how he had the entire town in the palm of his hands. Alvin is extremely confused when Hiccup actually opens his pen. Hiccup explains all to him. 

I don't got time for your bullshit Alvin! Here's what's
gonna happen, we're rescuing my father, together!

Count me in boy!

Hiccup and Alvin head to Outcast Island on Toothless, but since Alvin is a 400 pound fat ass, he has a hard time maintaining balance on Toothless and has to death grip Hiccup's shoulders. Hiccup asks Alvin to ease up on the grip, but Alvin claims he can't help it, all his grips are death grips. Toothless decides to fuck with Alvin and smacks him with both his wings, laughing it up. Hiccup tells Toothless he can't be doing that shit, but he gives Toothless an approving look. 

After that little bit of goofing, Hiccup gets serious and asks Alvin what happened between him and Stoick. Alvin explains that they were best friends but also two young testosterone driven Vikings charged with defending Berk against dragons. One night, there was a Monstrous Nightmare attack and Alvin thought he had a better idea than Stoick's, but Stoick was the chief's son so he had the final word. Alvin disobeyed orders and got a lot of people killed. Things were never the same, Stoick couldn't even look at Alvin without suspecting him as traitorous swine. When Stoick became Chief, Alvin got the hell out of Dodge. 

On that cheery note, they've arrived at Outcast Island at last. But Hiccup points out they can't just fly over the Island, that'd be incredibly stupid and alert them to their position. Alvin says they aren't flying over the Island, they're going under. He takes control of Toothless and tries to dive underwater, but Hiccup ain't having none of that shit. Alvin's all like, "What the fuck yo? Ya gotta trust me on this one! Would I lie?". Hiccup decides to trust Alvin on this one and dives. Alvin points him to an underwater cave that leads to the heart of the island. Hiccup thinks this is fuckey, how does Alvin know it's clear? Alvin, however, has an ace in hole that assured him that is so. 

That traitorous swine is your ace in the hole?

Toothless is just as bummed to see that sweaty old fuck again, but Alvin defends Mildew. Mildew's always been faithful to him he says. Hiccup can at least take solace in the fact he's seeing Mildew act as nanny for a nursery of dragons, something he never thought he'd see. But something catches his eye, a female Whispering Death with a shit ton of eggs. Hiccup asks Alvin and Mildew if this is where all the Whispering Death eggs they planted in Berk came from. Alvin confirms it, and also confirms that it was Mildew's stupid idea. Hiccup asks Mildew if he remembers a big ass red egg, Mildew does recall it and asks how it turned out. 

Hiccup pulls out Sharpshot from his satchel, to Alvin's confusion. Hiccup explains to him that he's sending a message to Berk, and that the Screaming Death is headed there. But he thinks he may have found what it's looking for. With that bit of information Alvin starts to come up with a plan, but Hiccup stops him dead in his tracks. Hiccup thinks Alvin's plans suck dick, so they're going to do this Hiccup's way. Alvin and Mildew agree. 

Hiccup heads back to the surface and releases Sharpshot, with that shit out of the way, he and Toothless stealthily assassinate all nearby Berserker soldiers. He enters the Outcast arena and immediately gets ambushed. The Berserker's launch a shit ton of bolas at Hiccup that he deflects with his shield. But Toothless gets trapped in a cage and Hiccup is surrounded by Dagur's bitches. Savage personally welcomes him back to Outcast Island. Dagur inspects Toothless and can't believe the Night Fury is finally his. He thinks they need to change the name, because Toothless don't make a lick a sense. Dagur now wants to keep Toothless for himself, but if he can't . . . 

I'll wear his skull as a helmet!

When Hiccup protests, Dagur has his bitches throw his ass in the brig for skinning later. 

Back at Berk, Snotlout receives the message from Shaprshot, who chows down hard on his arm. Ruff and Tuff yank Sharpshot off Snotlout, laugh at Snotlout's misfortune, and hand the note to Astrid. She tells the others that Hiccup has an idea for how to deal with the Screaming Death, but first they need to lure it to Outcast Island. Ruff and Tuff think about how that could be done. Tuffnut thinks they need a small Island and a really big rope, he asks Astrid who they can talk to about obtaining such things.

Fisglegs thinks they can use the Dragon Root to lure the Screaming Death to Outcast Island, and Tuffnut's all like, "Shit, and you thought my little island idea was stupid?". Astrid likes the idea though, Gobber locked the dragon root up for disposal. Snotlout however makes a very good point that all their dragons will go nuts if they go near it. Fishlegs, however, does something he'll sorely regret in a few seconds, he points out that Meatlug doesn't get driven mad by it. 

Back at Outcast Island, Dagur has brought Stoick and Hiccup up to the arena. Stoick asks Hiccup if he's got the dragon riders or the Berk fleet with him. Hiccup says he doesn't have shit, he's got a plan he'd rather watch unfold. Dagur talks to Toothless about his bog plans for him. Toothless'll be the new symbol of the Berserkers, that'll of course mean Dagur'll have to change his shields, his sails and get himself a new belt buckle. He wanders how much dough he'll have to fork over for that shit. But he figures that can wait until Berk's nothing but a burned out, uninhabitable wasteland. 

While Dagur goes on about his plans, his Outcast soldiers are pulled under the ground by something. Dagur doesn't seem to notice this and he continues on his rant. He comes up with the name Deathkiller for Toothless. Then the whole ground beneath them starts to crumble, as a pack of Whispering Deaths bursts through with Alvin and Mildew. Alvin throws Mildew to Toothless' cage, Mildew then frees Toothless. Stoick is shocked by this. 

Didn't see that shit comin' did ya?

Alvin lands by Hiccup and Stoick and untie their restraints. Alvin says it's just like the good old days. With that, the trio and the Whispering Deaths kick some serious Berserker and Outcast ass. But during the battle, the ground beneath the Outcast arena breaks in two, sending Dagur, Toothless  and a bunch of Berserkers plummeting to the bottom. The Outcast arena collapses, forcing Hiccup to grab on for dear life and dropping his shield. Stoick grabs Alvin before he falls and throws him and Mildew onto a couple Berserkers. 

Dagur decides it's time to teach Toothless whose boss. He gathers the men that fell with him and order them to get him his Night Fury. Toothless dispatches those losers with ease, but Dagur manages to force himself on his saddle. Toothless puts up a fight and manages to fling Dagur's ass off. Toothless makes his way to Hiccup and reunite with him. 

As Berserkers swarm around them, Ruff and Tuff come in to save their asses. They love all the chaos around them and wish they could move there. Hiccup can't believe he'd ever be so glad to see them, but Astrid tells him shit's about to get a lot crazier. 

FUCK THOSE GUYS!!

Fishlegs is luring the Screaming Death to Outcast Island. But the SD is quickly gaining on him and manages to enclose its jaws around him. But Meatlug lets out a huge fart into its mouth, it fires a bolt rather than have that shit it its mouth. Stoick asks why in the name of all that is good, pure and holy in this world would Hiccup want to bring it there? Hiccup tells him about it's mother, Stoick is simply confused that it even has a mother. 

When Fishlegs is close enough, Hiccup tells him to drop the cargo. Fishlegs does so and The Screaming Death's mother calls out to it. The Screaming Death answers her calls, Dagur realises that the Screaming Death wants its mom. So he and a few other Berserkers grab some ropes and capture it. Hiccup tells him not to be so damn foolish, he could get them all killed!

Like I give a shit?! Hello, I'm mentally unstable!

Tuffnut finds that logic hard to argue with. As the distressed Whispering Death calls out, The Screaming Death starts to plow it's way through scores of Outcasts and Berserker soldiers. Savage decides it's time to cut his losses and get the hell out of Dodge. Dagur tells Hiccup to get the hell back or he'll run his spear through the Whispering Death, and then they're all fucked. 

Hiccup tells the others to back off, Dagur thinks that's a wise move. Dagur also mentions that he's willing to make a trade. He also can't believe Hiccup didn't see that shit coming. Just then, Snotlout decides to go against orders and pull some admittedly cool ass trick that burns Dagur's ass and frees the Whispering Death. 

The Whispering Deaths get free of their restraints and they reunite with The Screaming Death. The the Screaming Death turns its attention to Hiccup and Toothless. It gives them one last roar and takes off with its family. Snotlout tries to apologise for going against orders, but is completely shocked and think's Hiccup's fucking with him when he tells him he done good. And not only that, but Hiccup lifts Snotlout's suspension. 

But Dagur comes out to break up this heartfelt moment. Only for Alvin to knock the shit out of him. 

-I'm gonna fuck you up, boy!
- HELP!!

But before we can see whatever Alvin's about to do to Dagur, we cut to Alvin and Stoick burying the hatchet after so many years. They shake hands and put whatever ugliness between them, behind them. 

Back at Berk, Stoick tells Hiccup that he'll make a damn fine chief one day, maybe even one of the best. Hiccup thinks that if the last few days are any indication of what it's like to be chief, he'll gladly leave that shit to Stoick for many years to come. Turns out they both have their leadership duties to attend to, Hiccup has to deal with Snotlout and Hookfang and Stoick has to deal with Silent Sven, whose broke his silence. Gobber tells Stoick he isn't gonna like what Sven has to say. 

Then we get our first narration since the end of last season! Hiccup explains that Berk has got ice, it has snow, and it has even more ice. But they've also got dragons, the train them, learn from them, protect them, and the Dragons protect them as well. Even from themselves. They would trade that for anything, would you? Hiccup asks. Fuck no! But god, only if we had that to trade. 

Summary

Well, that finale wasn't quite what I expected it would be, but it was still one hell of a finale. Hiccup's leadership was once again to the test and his interactions with Alvin and Mildew were awesome. We also finally got Alvin's backstory, and I'm glad that by the end he didn't end up betraying Hiccup and Stoick. It also seems like Mildew also got his redemption as well. 

Dagur was as great as always in the episode, though this unfortunately will probably be the last time we see him. And the Screaming Death's resolution was also pretty good, what with being reunited with its mother and all. But I expected something a lot more, it was still handled well. This episode was also the most action-packed episode to date. 

As a matter of fact, I was shocked how well the episode turned out. There was a ton of things to wrap up in this episode. They had to wrap up Dagur's, Alvin, Mildew and The Screaming Death's storylines. That's quite a lot to wrap up in 20 minutes, and it shows. The pacing is a bit too fast for my liking and everything is wrapped up too neatly. 

But, this is still a damn fine season finale. And this show has been a really fun continuation of How To Train Your Dragon. It was enough to keep me until HTTYD 2 comes out. I'll have a video summing up my feelings about the show out soon, and HTTYD 2 soon after that. So be sure to check those out, and thank you for joining me for these recaps, I'll be seeing you when the show comes back for it's third season. 

9/10

Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 19 - Cast Out Part 1

We're on the last two-parter of the season and the last episodes of the series (for now anyway). It'll be June soon, with How To Train Your Dragon 2 well on the way. So let's get this wrapped up, shall we?

Out in the middle of the forest, Gobber and a troop of villagers have catapults ready to fire. Gobber is stretching his old bones, until he sees a bunch of dragons coming their way, presumably to shit on their picnic. Gobber orders the villagers to fire! This turns out to be an exercise for the teens on how to deal with Catapults I suppose. Gobber's catapult malfunctions, but he smacks it until it works, nearly taking Ruffnut's head off. Tuffnut asks Gobber if he can do that again.

Hiccup decides that the shit's gotten too heavy and orders the others to retreat. Snotlout thinks that's a bunch of bullshit and moves in to take out the catapults. Hiccup tells him to get his insolent disobedient ass away from them, but Snotlout only lives to be a thorn in Hiccup's ballsack. He takes out a catapult that launches a boulder that hits Astrid in the head and sends her plummeting to her death. 

Nah just kidding, Hiccup manages to save her in time. Astrid wakes up a few minutes later and wants to know what the hell happened? Snotlout lands praising how awesome he is and what an amazing feat he just pulled off, completely oblivious to the fact he fucked up royal and nearly got Astrid killed in a Training Exercise of all things. Hiccup wastes no time in telling him what an utter, pathetic failure he is. And not just that, but he's a stupid, repugnant pile of shit that nearly killed Astrid. Snotlout brushes it off, Astrid looks fine to him. 

I'm gonna rip your balls off and stuff em' down your throat!

Hiccup's decided he's had enough of this bullshit, Snolout's also decided he's had enough of this bullshit. But he wants to know what bullshit Hiccup is sick of. Hiccup's fed up with Snotlout always doing the opposite of everything Hiccup says. Snotlout says he only looks out for he, himself and him. Hiccup points out that that is the problem, and that Snotlout's ass is suspended. To top it all off, Hiccup says Snotlout is also grounded. Snotlout tells Hiccup to go fuck himself, Hiccup ain't his dad!

Snotlout takes off on Hookfang, once again doing the exact opposite of whatever Hiccup says. Tuffnut is confused, because Snotlout is supposed to be grounded but what he just did is more like skying (Tuffnut's words, not mine). Astrid tells Hiccup that he didn't have to do that for her. Hiccup thinks that if Snotlout can't even follow simple orders during a fucking training exercise, he might fuck something up when they encounter Dagur again. 

Well, I mean there's plenty of times that Snotlout came through when the shit was down, but Hiccup does have a point that there's still a chance he might do something incredibly stupid one day that'll fuck them all. And speaking of Dagur . . . 

To any sane person, this would look queer. For Dagur, it's
just Tuesday. 

Dagur is talking to a picture of a Night Fury like a girl might talk to a picture of a hunk on her wall. His men find this to be totally queer, but they keep that to themselves, as this is Dagur we're talking about here. As Dagur is about to talking about ramming something up Hiccup's ass I'm assuming, Savage walks in and reports on the Dragon Root tests. But not before he has to correct his addressing of Dagur to 'You Derangedness". Dagur is pleased that the tests were successful, and Savage suggests waiting on Berk for the right time to plant it. Dagur likes it, it's so simple yet so . . . . . . . Deranged!!

At the Berk Academy, Hiccup flies in to find the Twins doing some work on Hookfang's old enclosure. Hiccup asks them what the fuck they're doing. Tuffnut tells him that since Snotlout was kicked out of the academy, they figured they'd tear down the wall between Barf and Belch's pen and Hookfang's, and perhaps do a little decorating here and there. In remembrance of Snotlout of course, he will be forgotten. 

Hiccup explains to them that he didn't kick Snotlout's ass out of the academy for good, he's just on temporary suspension. Tuffnut says that he doesn't really have much of a choice because of Snotlout's blatant disregard for Hiccup's leadership than to merge Barf and Belch's pen with Hookfang's. Ruffnut backs that point up, claiming his only other choice is total expulsion and losing the respect of the other riders. 

Wow, the first thing to come out of their mouths that's
not nonsensical drivel.

Despite what they just said making a semblance of sense, they unsubtly try to cover up the fact they just want to tear down the wall and put some decorations in there. Hiccup tells them they ain't tearing shot down yet! He'll talk to Snotlout when he gets back. 

Elsewhere, Snotlout finds a little Island in the ass end of nowhere and decides to call it Snotland. Hookfnag thinks this is totally lame. But Snoutlout thinks they don't need Hiccup and that stupid Dragon Academy, they've got their own shitty little Island now! Everything on it is theirs, the burned out trees, the rocks, all theirs! Hookfang at least enjoys burning those. Snotlout then points, unwittingly, to a wrecked Outcast ship. 

Back at Berk, Stoick is at the house holding an Ice Cube to his head. Hiccup drops by and asks Stoick how his day went. Stoick says it's been shitty, and being a leader can be a real bitch sometimes. Hiccup returns the sentiment, he doesn't know what to do with Snotlout, whether to kick his ass out, or to not kick his ass out. Stoick gives Hiccup some chiefly advice. Hiccup can't always be someone's friend and their leader at the same time, he's gotta make some tough calls for the good of everyone. Hiccup thinks on this nugget of wisdom. 

Back on Shitland, Snotlout cautiously closes in on the Outcast ship. He signals Hookfang over to him. With Hookfang as his big gun back up, Snotlout springs on the ship, and finds it filled with a big lot of jack shit. Snotlout and Hookfang look at each other in disappointment. Then all of a sudden, a couple tremors come out of nowhere. Snotlout blames Hookfang for bring them to an earth quaky Island. The Screaming Death shows up from under the ground to put that notion in the dirt. 

I'm back, bitches!

Snotlout realises that he and Berk are in the meat grinder, so he hurries off to warn everyone.  But The Screaming Death ain't having none of that shit, it's only interested in one thing; making Snotlout his bitch! The Screaming Death chases Snotlout and Hookfang around until Snotlout is knocked off and unconscious. As the Screaming Death moves in for the kill, a mysterious figure rescues Snotlout. 

Hookfang looks at the figure, who has the sunlight to his back, blocking most of his features. The figure flies Hookfang back to Berk, and presents an unconscious Snotlout to the town. The people wander of he's dead, then get excited at the prospect of Snotlout being dead. But Snotlout snaps out of unconsciousness and lets everybody know he's alive. This disappoints them. Hiccup and Stoick come to investigate, Snotlout says he captured the figure. The figure turns out to be . . .

Oh yeah, I'm back! . . . . Bitches!

Alvin The Treacherous is back, looks like Dagur's Skrill didn't kill him after all. Regardless, Alvin is placed under arrest and brought to the Great Hall to hear all the crimes he committed, Treachery, Attempted Treachery, Premeditated Treachery, Conspiracy to Commit Treachery, Sodomy, and Gobber decides they all get the point. The crowd cheers for Alvin's execution, but Stoick shuts them up. He tells Alvin that his ass is getting thrown in the brig until they figure out what to do with him. 

Alvin asks Stoick if they treat all people who've saved valuable lives like this. The Twins have serious doubts about the 'valuable life' part when dealing with Snotlout. Stoick doesn't believe for a moment that Alvin did what he did for Snotlout, he suspects Alvin has ulterior motives. You'd have to be a complete and utter fool to think otherwise. And indeed Alvin does have something in mind, he tells Stoick he has a proposal but Stoick ain't the least bit interested. 

Astrid and Fishlegs have come to inform Hiccup that Snotlout wokeup, and he said that Alvin wasn't the only big nasty thing on Shitland. The Screaming Death is back, and it's closing in on Berk. Hiccup is fed up with crap, but he knows he has to act fast. 

Back at the academy, the Twins are busy decorating Hookfang's former pen while Hiccup, Astrid and Fishlegs are busy practice scrapping and preparing of the Screaming Death. Snotlout then flies in and knocks Fishlegs down. 

Did you losers miss me?

Dammit! Why can't he just die already!

Hiccup tells Snotlout that he's glad he's alright, but Snotlout's arrogance really makes him reconsider what he just he said. Regardless, he tells Snotlout that he broke the rules and nearly got himself killed, so his ass is still suspended. Snotlout doesn't take this well, the Twins take it very well and go back to decorating. 

Snotlout thinks this is a bunch of bullshit, he found the Screaming Death and he captured Alvin the Treacherous! Astrid however points out that his stupid ass was unconscious the whole time, Snotlout says he was unconscious like a fox, which doesn't even make sense to the Twins. Hiccup tells Snotlout that this don't change shit! Snotlout is still suspended and Hookfang is getting locked up in his pen. Dagur watches this spectacle from afar, reveals his plan and unlocks a box containing a Dragon Root (the plant that makes the Dragons go nuts from episode 15 in case you forgot)!

Later, Hiccup decides to drop by the prison which is surrounded by angry villagers calling for Alvin's head. Hiccup heads on in and confronts Alvin. Alvin tells Hiccup the little proposal he was going to offer Stoick. Dagur is a loose catapult and off his rocker, he forced Alvin off his own Island and he wants that shit back! And he'll take it, with Berk's help. Hiccup thinks this is bullshit, why help get Alvin's Island back fro him just so he can get back to destroying Berk?

Oh come on man, I was a little pissed off, that's all.

For 20 years?

VERY PISSED OFF!

Alvin tries to make the claim that losing everything made him see things a bit differently, he's a changed man. Hiccup brings the conversation back to the proposal, he wants to know what's in it for Berk. Alvin says that the Berserker's will be gone, and the Outcasts will be their allies. An intriguing and very beneficial proposal, that is if Hiccup could trust the other party. 

Back at the house, Hiccup and Stoick are having supper. But Stoick notices the funny looks Hiccup's giving him, so he tells Hiccup to spit it out. Hiccup asks Stoick what Alvin did to get cast out of the tribe. Are we finally gonna find out? Not today it seems, since Stoick doesn't want to talk about it and gets really defensive when Hiccup presses him for answers. Stoick tells Hiccup that Alvin is their enemy, and that will never change. 

At the Academy, the dragons are sleeping peacefully in their pens. The Berserker's swarm the arena and open the gates. Dagur himself walks into the arena and signals to Savage to bring in the Dragon Root. With the Dragon Root in place, they open the pens and let the dragons out. 

FUUUUUCK YOOOOOUUUUU!!!

Back at Berkian Alcatraz, Snotlout decides to pay Alvin a visit. Snotlout tries to downplay Alvin's rescue, he could have gotten out of there himself. Alvin decides to go along with it, and even tells Snotlout they're both very much alike, motherfuckers don't appreciate the way they get shit done. Snotlout wholeheartedly agrees, and calls everybody stupid. Alvin asks Snotlout if he thinks it's right to let him rot in a jail cell, Alvin could have just left Snotlout to die, but he didn't. Alvin thinks that Snotlout owes him the key's to his cell at least, but that'll have to wait, as the warning horns start to sound. 

Hiccup wakes up and Astrid tells Snotlout that Dagur's been spotted by the arena. Snotlout runs off to save Hookfang, but not before Alvin tells him he can help defeat Dagur. Meanwhile, Hiccup sees the dragon root in the arena. He tells the others to go into the arena and distract their dragons, while Fishlegs and Meatlug jack the Dragon Root and haul ass out of there. Snotlout tries to tell Hiccup some important, but Hiccup doesn't have time for what Snotlout has to say. 

The teens head in to distract their dragons. Astrid tries to calm Stormfly, but she attacks Astrid instead. Snotlout and Twins aren't faring any better with their dragons. Fishlegs and Meatlug jack the Dragon Root and make for the gate, but the Berserker's close it before they can make their escape. Hiccup demands they open the gate, but Dagur surrounds Hiccup with archers putting him at a disadvantage. Hiccup wants to know what Dagur wants, but Dagur's goal has not changed. He wants what he's always wanted, the Night Fury. If Hiccup hands him over, Dagur and the Berserker's will leave peacefully. It's either the Night Fury, or his friends in the arena. 

Decisions, decisions, eh Hiccup?!

As the teens in the arena are running out of time, Dagur presses Hiccup for a decision. But Stoick, in a completely badass moment, makes the decision for him. They'll run Dagur through and open the gate themselves! With a small squad of Berkians behind him, he charges right into the Berserker's and kicks some ass! He reaches the gate and starts to open it, Savage is about to skewer him. Alvin however, kicks the shit out Savage before he can do so, and mocks Dagur for his mere existence at this time. Stoick throws Alvin a sword and tells him to kick some Berserker ass! Alvin Obliges. 

Stoick then manages to open the gate to the arena so Fishlegs can get out of there. Hiccup covers his ass while he books it. On the way out, Fishlegs accidentally knocks Stoick out during the skirmish. Hiccup closes the gate, as Dagur looks on and sees that his plan has failed. Savage suggests to Dagur that they get the fuck out of Dodge, but Dagur ain't leaving Dodge empty handed. Then he sees Stoick lying injured on the battleground, he orders Savage to follow him. 

The teens in the arena come out from their hiding places and embrace their Dragons who are pretty much back to normal. Tuffnut thanks Barf and Belch for not killing him, but he thinks they could have done with one less nut. Gobber calls Hiccup over to him, Hiccup looks up and sees Dagur and Savage with Stoick!

Nobody move! Or Stoick's ass is grass!

Dagur tells Hiccup they're leaving and if they see any dragon following them, rider or not, they'll be looking for a new chief. Dagur and Savage take their leave and say they'll be in touch. Hiccup makes a plan to cut them off at the beach and smash their boats to pieces before they can escape. Alvin advises against this, if they pack a man like Dagur into a corner, anything could happen. Dagur ain't gonna hurt Stoick, yet. Stoick isn't what Dagur wants. 

Gobber backs up Alvin's point, Hiccup asks Gobber if he lost all sense of reason during that skirmish, why would/should Hiccup trust Alvin? Gobber points out that if there's one thing Alvin knows, it's treachery. Hiccup takes Alvin's advise and leaves Stoick to Dagur, but he promises that he'll get him back, no matter what. 

Meanwhile . . . 

Summary

Well that was an awesome first part to the season finale, and it's shaping up to be an awesome one! Dagur, The Screaming Death, and now Alvin! Shit it's gonna be cool. As for the episode itself, it had a pretty good beginning with Astrid's near death experience. Hiccup had to make a big leadership decision and even had a nice discussion with Stoick about it. Snotlout was as entertainingly repugnant as ever. But the big surprise was Alvin. 

When Alvin supposedly died in A View To A Skrill Part 2, I was actually kinda hoping that would be the end of him. Put him to rest and let Dagur carry the series as the main antagonist. But, I actually loved Alvin's comeback. This one episode managed to make Alvin a far more interesting character than the rest of the series did. I'm looking forward to find what his backstory is. 

Dagur was as great as ever, and this lead to an awesome fight scene at the end. Dagur and Savage taking Stoick hostage has raised the stakes for the season finale. Oh, of course we know Stoick's gonna get out, he's in the next movie for christ sakes! But, it'll still be interesting to see how it all plays out. 

10/10