Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 3 - The Night And The Fury

The teens of the Dragon Academy are gathered around Astrid and Hiccup, Hiccup explains that the next training exercise was Astrid's idea. The others immediately begin to complain like whiny bastard children. Even the dragons are voicing their opinions, they're all like "No fucking way Jose'!". Astrid is confused, but Fishlegs tells her that her training exercises are too damn hard. Astrid doesn't seem to think so, but the others make of list of ridiculously tough shit she made them do like Hand-To-Claw combat, Spine Dodging, Bear Wrestling, Longship Hauling, and Lava Swimming. Astrid points out to Tuffnut that the last one is pure bullshit, but Tuffnut would actually prefer that to Hand -To-Claw combat. 

Astrid however thinks this exercise will be a walk in the park, all they have to do is get from one cave on the East side of Dragon Island, to a cave on the West side. The others mutter their approval for this walk in the park, until it turns out to be a walk in Downtown Detroit. They have to accomplish this could-have-been simple feat at night, with no camping gear and no dragons. The others continue their whining and think this is a bunch of bullshit. They demand to know what the point of this exercise is. Astrid tells them it's to work on their stealth skills and wild dragon defense. Hiccup backs her up, saying that they know how strong they are with their dragons, but they have to be prepared for when they meet untamed dragons without their own dragons. It'd be just like the good old days, I'd imagine.

Clearly you've forgotten what life was like before Dragons.

So the teens land on the Eastern shore of Dragon Island, but Hiccup says they'll need to ditch the Dragons and someone will have to puss out of the drill to take them to the West cave. That way the dragons won't fight their battles for them, as they demonstrate when some punk ass Nadder thinks he's tough shit. Hiccup looks for a volunteer to skip out on a long aggravating night. He shouldn't be too short of volunteers. Fishlegs eagerly tries to get the job, but Tuffnut yells louder. Fishlegs claims he's the right one for the job because of the sheer vastness of his Dragon knowledge, Tuffnut says that's just because he gets all of it from a book. Tuffnut, he feels them, in his stomach. Hiccup agrees with Tuffnut and coerces Fishlegs into going on the drill with irrefutable logic. 

 So the teens all bid farewell to their dragons for the night. Toothless however is not so ready to be stuck with Tuffnut, even for a night. Hiccup tells him he can't believe this shit either, but he has to man it out and accept Tuffnut as the boss. A role Tuffnut is all too happy to have. Hiccup reminds the group that this ain't about heroics or speed, this is about stealth and dealing with Wild Dragons should they come across one. Fishlegs is complaining to himself at the back. 

Fuck this drill, fuck this island, fuck this rock,
fuck my life, fuck everything!! Fucking, fuck, fuuuck!

Fishlegs tries to brush it off, claiming he's "formulating a plan". Hiccup tells him to man up, Fishlegs continues to complain to himself, then pisses himself when his lantern goes out. 

At the Western part of the Island, the dragons are settling in for a good night's sleep. Tuffnut however is not the least bit tired, he's fired up for an all nighter. The dragons are not however, especially if it's an all-nighter with Tuffnut. Toothless is so not cool with this idea that he tries to ditch, but Tuffnut stops him from doing so. Tuffnut reminds him of the mission, no dragon help and that also means Toothless, and also reminds him that he's the boss. Toothless smacks him and sends his ass flying into the cavern wall, the other dragons are highly amused. Tuffnut's head is glued to his helmet however, so he's stuck on the wall and asks Toothless to help the big boss honcho, Toothless blasts his ass out. 

Elsewhere, Astrid is moving quickly. She makes an unnecessary ninja flip, and runs into the same punk ass Nadder from before. Astrid's all like,"Bitch please, at least try and give me something challenging." She toys with the punk ass Nadder, and when it finally releases its spines she dodges every single one of them. The punk ass Nadder is taken back by Astrid's display of badassery. Her sass convinces him to back down. 

Snotlout is elsewhere, boasting to himself about how awesome he is. When he strikes a pose for the camera, he falls into a pool of water. He then proceeds to get his ass kicked by Terrible Terrors. 

Ruffnut encounters a Monstrous Nightmare, she tries to reassure herself that it's more afraid of her then she is of it. But low, she is definitely more afraid. She tries making turns since apparently Monstrous Nightmare's are bad at turns. But she's too stupid to know the difference between left and right and runs in circles right back into its jaws. 

Fishlegs is still complaining to himself about how cold and miserable he is. He hears a noise, and his bladder releases. He asks who's there, and blames Astrid for being out here and that his death will be on her hands. A Typhoomerang reveals itself while he isn't looking, and the camera cuts away to Hiccup before it assumedly eats Fishlegs. Two Gronckles are duking it out for some unknown purpose, Hiccup throws them a couple rocks and mocks their predictability. He then sees a campfire in the distance. 

Campfire?! What the fuck?! This is about stealth dammit!

Back at the Western cave, Tuffnut is telling the dragons some lame ghost story. The dragons look like they're trying to fall asleep, but can't because Tuffnut tells his lame story rather loudly. When he lamely builds up to his ultra lame ending, he points at Meatlug for the lame conclusion. Tuffnut is met with the cricking of crickets. Toothless has had quite enough of Tuffnut's lameness, who doesn't even have the the common courtesy of being quiet enough so Toothless could at least sleep through it. Toothless attempts a prison break, but Tuffnut randomly appears to bar his path. Toothless goes back into the cave, Tuffnut tries to relate to Toothless about missing his other half. He tells Toothless he feels his pain, only then he remembers that he actually prefers it when Ruffnut is in imminent danger recalling the time Ruff was on fire. He just watched and was laughing it up. Then he starts some nonsensical rambling about massages and doing his duty, but its so lame that Toothless falls right asleep. Tuffnut decides that's not actually a half-bad idea, and goes to sleep as well.

Back at the camp, Hiccup calls out Snotlout's name as this does seem like something Snotlout would do, even if  it's just to spite Hiccup. Suddenly some strange figure ambushes Hiccup, he looks up and..........

Oh, fuck me.

It turns out to be Dagur the Deranged, the mentally unstable chief of the Berserkers. Probably the last person Hiccup wanted to unexpectedly run into. Dagur however seems rather happy to see Hiccup, alive that is. Hiccup makes a subtle joke about being alive the last time he checked, and comments that he hasn't seen Dagur since his last visit on Berk. Dagur brings up the "Dragon Attack" back on Berk when Hiccup "saved" Dagur from a Night Fury. Dagur makes a re-enactment of the event but when he thinks about it he realises he doesn't know what happened after he fled. He sticks his sword in Hiccup's face and wants to know what Hiccup's doing here. Hiccup is rather on edge, and simply repeats Dagur's question. Dagur then decides he doesn't want Hiccup to answer, as he thinks he's got it all figured out. Hiccup's not looking forward to what Dagur has in mind, but Dagur comes to the conclusion, as the music builds for dramatic effect, that Hiccup is here............................. to hunt dragons. The dramatic music comes to a comedic halt, Hiccup looks uneasy but in a state of relief goes along with Dagur's conclusion in a perfectly executed comedic moment. 

Dagur wants to know what happened to the Night Fury, Hiccup is desperate for some bullshit to get himself out of this and tells him it got away. Only that's probably the worst thing he could possibly say, as Dagur thinks that's great news. He comes up with a new plan, him and Hiccup are going to hunt the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself and they ain't gonna stop until it's head is mounted on a wall. Hiccup tries to object, but Dagur pulls him down to the fire to howl with him. Hiccup's in the shit now, as he needs to keep up the guise that Berk doesn't train dragons, but now he might possibly have to kill a few tonight. 

After a little break, Dagur and Hiccup are sitting on a log and Dagur is explaining what happened after he left Berk. Ever since he left he hasn't been able to stop thinking about Hiccup. Hiccup thinks that's totally gay, but Dagur claims it wasn't about Hiccup personally, it was about Hiccup and the Night Fury. To Dagur it was like Hiccup knew the dragon, was inside it's head and rattling it's cage (well, he ain't too far off there, but he doesn't know that, yet). After a comment about Hiccup being muscularly challenged (something I swear I'm going to be using in everyday life now), Dagur says that seeing that made him want to know dragons too. So he went to Dragon island to learn about them one by one. 

The Deadly Nadder got this in the leg.
It was AWESOME!!

The Monstrous Nightmare.
Look at him, not so monstrous now, are you?

And don't even get me started on the Gronckle.

You bastard child!

During Dagur's little school session, he hears a dragon roar and reacts quickly, crossbow in hand. Hiccup compliments the crossbow, Dagur says its his hunting weapon of choice. When he sees what Hiccup carries, his Gronckle Iron shield, he's very confused. He comments that it's very ornate and that his sister had one like that. He himself never felt the need to hide in combat, then makes some weird ass laugh like he's on crystal meth or something. Dagur is getting more unstable and Hiccup is growing more uncomfortable the longer this goes one. 

Hiccup then asks Dagur how long he's been out there for. Dagur thinks he might have been there for days, weeks, or months. At this point he doesn't know because it's all a blur when he's on the hunt, he needs to stay focused. And I can't do justice to Dagur's awesomeness or hilarity by writing about it, so I'm not even gonna try. 

Hiccup thinks that maybe Dagur should take a little break, but Dagur ain't quitting until he kills the Night Fury. It's on the Island and he can feel it. He asks if Hiccup feels it too, but Hiccup just feels awkward. Dagur tells him he brings the funny and to gear up for a Night Fury hunt. He also calls Hiccup brother while he's at it. 

And the randomness continues.

So Hiccup and Dagur start their hunt. Eventually Dagur hears a dragon stomping in the distance. Dagur thinks it's the Night Fury, but Hiccup thinks its too big. Turns out it's just a Monstrous Nightmare. But Dagur decides he's gonna take it down anyway, just for fun. But Hiccup ain't having any part of Dagur's one-man genocide and fucks up Dagur's shot before he can loose the bolt. Dagur is pissed for Hiccup doing so, but Hiccup pulls another excuse out of his ass, claiming the Night Fury would have smelled it and fled. Dagur falls for it and comments on what an unlikely, formidable team they are. Hiccup thinks likewise. 

Back at the Western cave, Tuffnut and the dragons are sleeping. Tuffnut is having a dream about somebody stealing his blanket. Toothless hears a Monstrous Nightmare outside and decides to ditch Tuffnut and the cave. He rallies the other dragons to join him on his shenanigans. Tuffnut wakes up to find the dragons gone. He takes it upon himself to drag their asses back to the cave, and he warns the dragons that it's on. If Dagur weren't on the island, this would simply be a relatively harmless setback for the drill. 

Dagur and Hiccup are still on the hunt. Dagur pulls Hiccup behind a rock and tells Hiccup to listen. Dagur thinks the Night Fury is close, Hiccup tells him it's probably just a Yak, but Dagur ain't taking no chances. He aims for a bush, makes a scary face and laughs maniacally, Hiccup is ready to fuck up his aim again.........

You know what, shoot anyway.

Snotlout is rather happy to see Hiccup after the shit he's been through during the night. He tells Hiccup that the place is crawling in Wild Dragons. Hiccup reminds him that the Island is called 'Dragon Island'. Snotlout notices Dagur and asks him what he's doing there, Dagur only replies by getting his name wrong as he seems annoyed Snotlout is here. Hiccup tells Snotlout his bullshit story about Dragonhunting only for Snotlout to be noticeably confused. Dagur however just calls Snotlout stupid instead of looking further into Snotlout's confusion. Hiccup tells Snotlout to go along with the bullshit, or else their dragons are getting stuffed. 

Tuffnut is still looking for the Dragons. He finds a sleeping Zippleback and thinks it's Barf and Belch, but it's actually a wild Zippleback. Toothless and the other dragons are still exploring the island looking for their riders. 

Fishlegs is alone and frightened, he jumps down a ledge and is wary of anything that might try to get him. He backs into Snotlout and screams like a bitch. Hiccup however manages to calm him down and tell him that Dagur is joining them on their Dragon Hunt. Snotlout backs up Hiccup's bullshit, except not nearly so subtly. Dagur notes that his definition of alone and Hiccup's are very different. But he decides that Fishlegs could be useful. 

After a little shot of Toothless and the other dragons hot on their trail, Dagur tell Hiccup that they're a lot alike which actually isn't so far from the truth. Dagur is like a mirror image of Hiccup, what he could have been if he had gone through with killing Toothless. Though Dagur lists the more practical similarities; They're both born leaders and sons of chiefs who had to be eliminated so they could gain control. Hiccup respectfully disagrees with the last one, his dad hasn't been eliminated from anything. Dagur says he could be eliminated easily though, Hiccup just has to say the word. He shoots his crossbow into Fishlegs lantern to explain what he'll do when Hiccup says the word. With the music in the background, this is a legitimately haunting moment.  

Their looks say it all.

  
Dagur hears rustling in the bushes ahead, he signals the group to kneel for cover. Astrid appears out of nowhere behind Snotlout and makes the 'Shut the fuck up!' gesture. Snotlout however doesn't know the meaning of 'shut the fuck up' and says 'wow' rather loudly. She smacks him in the face then somersaults out of there.  Dagur's attention is on the bush however. He asks Hiccup which of his bonehead friends is it gonna be this time. His answer comes from a purple bolt of Dragon Fire. Toothless appears behind the bush, Dagur praises Hiccup for leading him to the Night Fury. 

As Dagur lines up his crossbow with Toothless' face, Hiccup says he wants to do it. Dagur complains that he saw it first, Hiccup grabs the crossbow and argues that he led Dagur to it only for Dagur to snatch it right back and tell Hiccup that he brought the crossbow and all Hiccup brought was his useless ornate shield. Dagur pushes Hiccup aside and is ready to shoot Toothless, but a trio of Terrors attacks him, fucking up his shot. Hiccup signals for Toothless to get the fuck outta there. Astrid chastises Dagur for fucking up her Terrible Terror hunt but Dagur tells her to go eat a dick, as he's hunting a god damned Night Fury!

Terrors ain't shit compared to a Night Fury ho!

Dagur asks Hiccup if he left anyone back on Berk and goes to retrieve his crossbow bolt. Astrid asks Hiccup if Dagur said what she thinks he just said, Hiccup tells her that he did indeed say what she thought he said. Hiccup for probably the first time on the show (can't recall anytime before at the moment) doesn't have a plan. He tells the others to get their dragons and get the fuck outta there, which isn't even a plan at all. Hiccup's gotta keep up the bullshit about Berk not training dragons but nothing less than Toothless' death is going to keep the lie alive. Dagur's got Hiccup by the balls and he doesn't even know it. 

As the others go off to find their Dragons, Dagur and Hiccup chase after Toothless. Dagur is confused why Toothless doesn't just fly away. Hiccup's desperate for some kind of bullshit that'll get him out of this situation without killing Toothless and without provoking the chief of a powerful tribe. He suggests that the Night Fury wants them to follow and that they should give up. Dagur however is unphased,  he says that a trappers traps can trap the trapper. Hiccup asks what the hell that even means, but even Dagur doesn't even know what it means. 

After the teens have found their dragons and the Twins, Dagur and Hiccup have chased Toothless all the way to a cliff at the edge of the island. Hiccup once again tries to bullshit his way out of this, but Dagur has another trick up his sleeve. He tells Hiccup that he didn't exactly come to the Island alone either, he brought his 50,000 man armada along as well. He plans to push Toothless off the cliff and let the armada finish the job. Hiccup tells him that isn't very sporting, but Dagur doesn't give a flying fuck about sporting. He wants to kill the Night Fury and wear its skull as a helmet. 

Then, in the singularly most epic and greatest moment in the entire span of the series, Dagur advances on a helpless Toothless with an epic rendition of the main theme upping the drama of the scene as Hiccup has come to the point of no return, he either keeps the peace between Berk and the Berserkers or he loses his best friend. 

Fuck this shit!

In the end, Hiccup chooses Toothless. He tells Dagur that he won't let him kill the dragon and calls Toothless over to him. When Dagur sees Toothless' saddle, he realises that's he's been had and made a fool out of by Hiccup and Stoick. Hiccup tries to be reasonable with Dagur, but Dagur is ready to rip Hiccup's throat out. Toothless stops him from doing shit though. Dagur tells Hiccup they could have been brothers but now they're enemies, when Hiccup blows that off Dagur looks noticeably hurt by it. Hiccup tells Dagur he can go to war if he wants, but they've dragons, so he'd better come prepared. 

As Hiccup and Toothless fly away, Dagur pulls out a bola and grounds them. With Toothless incapacitated, Dagur moves in for the kill, only for Hiccup to block his attack with his Gronckle Iron shield. This leads into the most epic fight in the series and one where Hiccup actually has to physically fight and where the shield is also revealed to be a foldable crossbow. That shield just gets more and more awesome every episode. As the fight starts to move in Dagur's favour, Toothless gets free and blasts Dagur's ass. Dagur gets to his fleet and Hiccup orders the others to get back to Berk even though Snotlout thinks the six of them can take on 50,000 men. 

Dagur is back with his fleet, and one of his lackey's wants to kill Hiccup for lying. Dagur won't allow it though, he wants Hiccup for himself. And even then not until he has Hiccup's Night Fury. Hiccup and the others head back towards Berk. 

Well Astrid, we came for a difficult drill, and we ended
up starting a war. All in all a successful day.

Summary

Holy fucking shitbonkers, I think this episode is about as good as the show can get. There were plenty of great episodes before, but this one tops them all. Everything in this episode was perfectly executed and paced. There was not a single joke that wasn't spot on or missed the mark, even Tuffnut was hilarious when he was guarding the dragons. His interactions with toothless were just golden. The drama was also spot on, Dagur and Hiccup's interactions were gut-busting and the pacing of their storyline was perfect. Dagur was a fucking riot, and the more unstable he got the more uncomfortable Hiccup got. And Hiccup eventually had a make a important leadership decision in whether to keep the peace or save his best friend.

Dagur is definitely a better villain than Alvin, or at least a hell of a lot more entertaining. And for the first time in the series, Hiccup wasn't making some sarcastic jape at the villain's expense like with Alvin. This time he was actually in a state of vulnerability, he didn't know what to do and he was uncomfortable and even scared. But Dagur at the same time seemed to legitimately enjoy Hiccup's company and like the idea of him and Hiccup being brothers in arms and was noticeably hurt when the truth was revealed, actually manging to make him a bit likeable. 

This episode was just perfect, and I'd even say was on the movie's level if it wasn't for the animation (which is still pretty damn good even for this show). It's the best episode yet and I'm not sure if they'll top this one.

10/10

TV Review: Breaking Bad

Grand Theft Auto has finally become a show with Breaking Bad, the most highly regarded show on to ever grace the screen (if you go by IMDB). 

Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 2 - The Iron Gronckle

It's been a while since we had a Fishleg's themed episode. If Five episodes can be considered a while that is. In this episode, Fishlegs discovers some kind of Iron that can be produced by Gronckles, will this be a breakthrough in Viking technological advancement? 

The teens are fast in flight, with Meatlug and Fishleg's lagging behind. Which is kind of strange, seeing as Meatlug seemed to have no problems keeping up with the others before. Is this just something the writers decided to pull out of their asses for the plot of the week?
It seems kinda weird, as even in urgent situations that required speed Meatlug had no problem keeping pace. 

Anyway, the teens are chasing something but appear to have lost it. They set down on a rock thinking this is a bunch of bullshit, how can an Outcast ship outrun dragons? What is this now? Continuity between episodes and a continuation of the main plot in the immediate coming episode? Usually after an episode that involves one of the main villains and advances the main plot, unless it's a two parter, there's a bunch of episodes that act like it never happened and you would almost forget the Berkians are at war. It's nice to see some kind of advancement in the plot without a bunch of filler in between. And ironically enough I was just complaining about continuity in the last paragraph. 

So the teens have lost the Outcast ship they were chasing, and as Fishlegs sets down Snotlout, in his usual Snotlout Doucheiness, blames Fishlegs and Meatlug for being fat tubs of blubbery shit that do nothing but slow them down, even though before there were never these kinds of problems before. Hiccup and Astrid tell Snotlout to hold his whore tongue before they shove it up his vagina. But Snotlout appears to have broken Fishlegs as Fishlegs feels Snotlout has a point and stays behind. After a little resistance to Fishlegs staying behind, Hiccup, Astrid and the others leave him to find the Outcast ship and Fishlegs goes somewhere else. Savage move out from behind a rock. 

Ha ha ha ha,  Suckers!

Instead of looking for the Outcast ship like he said he would, Fishlegs takes Meatlug to some spot littered with all kinds of stones and berries. He complains that the others don't appreciate what they can do. He thinks they can do plenty of impressive shit like hovering, stationary hovering, eating giant ass boulders that are flung at them, and farting. Seeing as only one of those feats is actually impressive and one makes them look more like clowns, Fishleg's starts to think maybe he and Meatlug really are that useless. Meatlug however cheers him up, and Fishlegs eats all the berries he can find and Meatlug eats all the rocks laying around. 

Back at Berk, it looks like they're ready to spill they're guts out through their mouths and assholes. Fishlegs walks towards Gobber's shop and begs Gobber for help. Gobber asks him what's wrong with her, Fishlegs tells him she ate one too many rocks and is ready to explode. Only she can't for some reason. After some rather unnecessary ear wax inspection, he inspects Meatlug's throat. He yells some curse about Odin's shitty diaper and decides the best course of action is to get her to vomit by tickling her belly with a feather. Fishlegs thinks this is a stupid idea. 

Yeah, that was a bit of a stupid idea.

Meatlug vomits up a shit ton of lava, trpping Fishlegs and Gobber on a little stool. But Meatlug seems better so its mission accomplished. Fishlegs then tells Gobber to tickle away, but Gobber tells him to do that shit himself, he only does dragons. 

Meanwhile, in a cave underneath Berk, Savage and his lackey's have landed to check on the Whispering Death's that were planted there. All the eggs have hatched and the baby Whispering Death's are already making themselves at home. Savage is pleased, once these Death's grow up, they'll destroy Berk from beneath. But one of the Lackey's tells him that one of the eggs is bigger than the others. Savage finds that awfully strange, then he looks up to find a tunnel that's even bigger than the others. 

My god, what have we done?!

After they hear a rather menacing roar come down from the tunnel, they decide to get the fuck out of dodge before they find out what it is. 

Fishlegs is giving Meatlug a scrub with a broom when the others get back from Outcast hunting. Fishlegs asks them if they managed to find their query, Snotlout asks him if he sees any Outcast ship. 

Suddenly Gobber comes out of nowhere and asks Fishlegs if he knows what it is. Tuffnut tries to guess, then beats the shit out of Ruffnut when she tries to answer for him. Gobber tells them that what he has ain't no ordinary pissant sword, he throws it to Fishlegs but Astrid catches it and inspects it. Gobber explains that he made this sword with the strange ass lava Meatlug barfed up in his shop. Hiccup is amazed, but Astrid thinks its too light, so light that it's probably a pissant sword. That's what Gobber thought at first as well, until....

How's that for a pissant sword!

The teens are impressed, so much so that they're all asking if there's any left for new daggers, new helmets, the works. Gobber even tells Hiccup that this Iron would do pretty well on Hiccup's new shield. Something which Hiccup can see no problems with at all. Snotlout however thinks Gobber should start by making him a new sword, Gobber tells him he can start by getting his ass in line. 

As the word starts to spread about Meatlug's Gronckle Iron, the whole town shows up at Gobber's shop, all wanting a piece of the new action. You know what this means?

So Fishlegs has discovered a new high-quality product that is now in high demand in Berk. He's the big-shot of the town right now. And all he has to do is tickle Meatlug to get her to throw up. Can this be considered animal cruelty? If it can, PETA would be all over this shit in 5 minutes. 

Hiccup also uses the Gronckle Iron is improve his shield. It's lighter, stronger, and much more pretty to look at. Fishlegs is just caught up in the sensation of feeling important and being a big shot. Then Hiccup asks him what kind of rock he fed Meatlug. Fishlegs hesitates at first, then tells Hiccup that it's a trade secret. When Gobber asks, Fishlegs says if he tells him he'll have to mace him. Fishlegs however seems rather on edge when being asked these questions, Gobber sees that something's fuckey here. 

Astrid sets down beside the shop and tells Hiccup that another Outcast ship was spotted. They rush off to find it, but Hiccup asks Fishlegs if he wants to come. But Fishlegs is too busy being a big shot to come so they leave him behind. Gobber then tells Fishlegs that the Iron is running low and for him to do his magic. 

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that shit?

Fishlegs is in a bit of a hot spot, he's discovered a quality product that's now in high demand, but now it's run out and there's no way to fill the demand. Gobber thinks its time Fishlegs let him in on his little trade secret. 

They head to the place where Fishlegs and Meatlug ate that day. There's a number of different rocks littered on the ground, and Fishlegs picks up a few and tries to recall which one it was. At this point, Gobber's suspicions are confirmed. When it comes to the rock that makes Gronckle Iron, Fishlegs don't know shit! Fishlegs of course doesn't flat out admit it, but after pressure from Gobber he breaks down and admits it. Gobber tells him to calm down, they'll just take all the rocks here and try them one at a time. 

Back at the academy, the teens complain about having lost the Outcast ship again. Hiccup thinks that some low-speed hovering might have been useful in this situation. Snotlout like "Oh fuck, you gotta shitting me, you're suggest bringing him along now?". Ruffnut and Tuffnut are confused who Snotlout is referring to. Hiccup and Astrid think they need Fishlegs. Snotlout says its Hiccup's fault for making Fishlegs quit. This makes Hiccup noticeably hurt even though Snotlout was the one who drove Fishlegs away with his assbaggery. 

I may have been the one who made Fishlegs quit,
but you're the one who made him quit Hiccup.

Back at Gobber's shop, Gobber and Fishlegs empty the wheelbarrow full of rocks in front of Meatlug. Meatlug doesn't even know where to begin. Gobber gives her stones that make glass (which Gobber foolishly thinks is worthless), and one that nearly makes her explode. Getting absolutely nowhere, the town residents are becoming outraged. 

The others are outside trying to get Fishlegs to come with them on their next hunting mission. Hiccup calls Fishlegs by name, but this only give the townsfolk the idea to cheer him on. Gobber tells Fishlegs a very reassuring tale how a mob once ripped a man limb from limb, and this is how it started. Fishlegs is willing to do anything to save his skin right now, and suggest a combination of rocks might do the trick. But after they feed the rocks to Meatlug, she becomes a giant magnet. Attracting all kinds of metal and weapons to her skin, she freaks the fuck out and tries to run. 

Meatlug runs through the village causing all kinda of chaos. 

That last one is more just deserts though.

After causing so much chaos in the village (and no doubt giving Rudd and Tuff their daily dose of shits and giggles) Hiccup and Toothless manage to herd Meatlug out into the forest where there ain't no metal. But they seem to lose her in the trees, only to find her again at the edge of a cliff. Hiccup tries to clam her down, but Fishlegs arrives and tries to tell him something, but Hiccup tells him now's not the time. Fishlegs then reminds him that he has a metal leg! Which then get attracted to Meatlug. Meatlug then flies off with Hiccup.

Fuuuuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Toothless is in a state of panick seeing his best friend being taken away. He looks at Fishlegs, who asks them if they both have the exact same idea. Turns out they do. 

Ride me bitch!

Toothless turns his back toward Fishlegs, something Fishlegs was afraid of. He climbs onto Toothless but wants Toothless to calm his fury. He wants the Night without the Fury. But as soon as Fishlegs locks Toothless' tail, Toothless unleashes the Fury. Fishlegs yells to him that there's too much Fury. But eventually he gains confidence and manages to catch up with Hiccup and Meatlug. 

Yo!

Yo!

How's it going dawg?

Better than expected.

As Fishleg attempts the get Hiccup out of his ridiculous predicament, Hiccup tries to apologize to Fishlegs for leaving Fishlegs behind, even though it was Snotlout being a shit-tree that put the nail in the coffin. Fishlegs says they can talk about this shit later. But the situation becomes much more complicated when Savage and his Outcasts appear and spot them. 

Hiccup however has an idea, would we expect any less of him? He gets Meatlug to cruise alongside the Outcast ship and pulls all their weapons right out of their hands. But now the situation's gotten a little tricky because now Hiccup has a bunch of weapons flying after him. But Fishlegs manages to tickle Meatlug and make her barf up the magnetic shit, which sinks Savage's ship. 

Oh fuck me.

Fishlegs and Hiccup switch Dragons and head back to Berk. Gobber is waiting for Fishlegs at the shop, but Fishlegs tells him he has duties with the Academy. Gobber accepts that and gives Fishlegs a little gift as well, the very first Gronckle Iron sword he made. Fishlegs at first doesn't want to accept it, but Gobber tells him that anybody who drives off and Outcast ship is worthy of the sword. A nice little moment. 

Hiccup then tells Fishlegs that the Academy needs him, Fishlegs feels good about feeling needed. All in all, a successful day. 

Summary

This episode was pretty good. Although the issues Fishleg's face in this episode haven't appeared in any shape or form before, and Meatlug had no problem keeping up with the others before. But it was still pretty awesome seeing Fishlegs be the centre of attention then have it turn on him so fast. And I hope this Gronckle Iron isn't a one time thing. Because this is actually a pretty big deal, the start of dragon related products that they could trade and grow rich off of, the possibilities! 

And also for once, the main plot was continued without there being a long line of filler in between. Savage checked on the Whispering Death eggs and we saw what appears to be a very huge hole, this should lead to something good. Toothless' interaction with Fishlegs was golden, he just oozed character when he gestured for Fishlegs to get on his back. 

7.5/10

Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 1 - Live And Let Fly

Onto a new season, and another 20 episodes with Hiccup, Toothless and the gang. In the last episode, Alvin has learned to train dragons. Are we about to get dragon rider vs. dragon rider battles? Well, let's watch season 2 and find out, boy!

So the episode begins in a dark cave only barely lit by some torches. A strange voice asks "How do you train dragons boy?". Fishleg's appears to be tied up and is being questioned. Fishleg's tells what is likely the Outcasts to eat his shit. He ain't talking and there's nothing they can do to make him. But they think they can and put all the torches out. This scares Fishleg's into spilling the beans on the Dragon riders, calling Astrid a bitch but in a nice way, and can't decide whether Snotlout or Hookfang is more monstrous. 

Suddenly Toothless lights the torches and the teens look at Fishleg's wholly unimpressed. Being in the dark of all things broke Fishleg's, imagine if he was being threatening with waterboarding or a possible flaying? Hiccup tells Fishleg's he can't be such a loose-tongued pussy if Avin has him as a prisoner, he'll do shit a lot worse than putting him in the dark. Then again, why would he need to do anything else if putting him in the dark would brake him? Hiccup tells him to work on keeping his shit together under pressure. Astrid takes Fishleg's comment that she's mean to heart. Fishleg's asks Meatlug to untie him as the others left him there tied up. 

Meatlug?

At the docks, Stoick is overlooking the fortification of Berk from a very likely Outcast attack. He also tells Hiccup that there is a ban on flying dragons. Wait, what? Hiccup thinks this is a bunch of bullshit, which I have to agree with. How would this be productive to their war effort? And how do you propose to keep them grounded? All in all this sounds like a stupid idea. But Stoick is doing it because he doesn't want to risk the lives of Hiccup and his other Dragon Riders. But Hiccup points out that Avin has got his own dragons and the only way to fight that is to fight back with their own, but when Stoick says something is happening, it's fucking happening. 

The other riders think it's a bunch of bullshit as well however. Astrid asks him how he could possibly agree with such a stupid idea. Hiccup tells her that Stoick is the chief and his overly protective father whose judgement is clouded for that very reason. Astrid thinks they need to knock some sense into him, Fishleg's wishes her good luck on that and tells her he'll miss her. Snotlout says that bad shit happens if they cage Hookfang's inner warrior. 

FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Ruffnut and Tuffnut think they should cage Hookfang's inner warrior a long time ago. Hiccup tells the others not to get their titties in a twist, he'll work on getting his dad over to their point of view. 

On the way back home, Astrid says she forgot what it was like to walk all the way home, a subtle guilt-tripping of Hiccup. Hiccup tells Astrid he usually enjoys these little games they play, but right now he ain't digging it. He's got enough shit on his plate and Toothless looking at him with his big, cute puppy dog eyes begging him to go out on their sunset flights knowing damn well he can't is more than he can handle, he doesn't need Astrid's guilt-tripping. 

It's night and Toothless is sitting in the exact same spot staring at the moon. Hiccup in in the Blacksmith's shop building something. Toothless smacks Hiccup around with his tail, Hiccup tries to resist the urge but dammit, how do you refuse Toothless something?! That shit can't be easy! Gobber then walks into the shop and starts guilt-tripping Hiccup about the ban, only Gobber isn't doing it intentionally and he's not subtle at all about it. After a scolding glance from Hiccup, Gobber changes the subject to what Hiccup is building. Hiccup shows Gobber a shield, which confuses Gobber at first, but Hiccup quickly shows him it's not just a shield. 

Gee Hiccup, I didn't know you were that find of me.

Hiccup's shield is a shield-grappling hook. Gobber thinks it could come in handy, and tries to reassure Hiccup that his father is only trying to protect him. Hiccup still thinks that's a bunch of bullshit (and so do I) and reminds Gobber that the safest place for him is on Toothless kicking ass and taking names. Gobber can't make an argument against that and instead resorts to more unintentional and unsubtle guilt-tripping about how beautiful the moon looks at that time. After another scolding glance from Hiccup, Gobber decides to be quiet and go away. 

Toothless once again nags Hiccup for a flight, but Hiccup tells Toothless he might as well be roaring at the wind, but he eventually caves in because there's just no refusing Toothless anything dammit! Astrid unfortunately catches Hiccup with his hands in the cookie jar. She gives chase, but Hiccup manages to lose her. He sets down confident that he left her in the dust. Only for her to set down right beside him. Astrid asks him if this is where he tells her that his dad doesn't know shit about this and he's going behind Stoick's back for the 500 billionth time already. Hiccup however tells her that his is where he tells her that Stoick is in the wrong. He thinks Stoick's head is clogged with Bullshit, and he's going to do the right thing and fly on his dragon anyway. Astrid supports him, if he's going to fly his dragon anyway, the rest of them are too. So they come up with the Dragon Flight Club, a secret society of dragon fliers that fly their dragons in spite of the ban on flying. They pitch it to the others. 

So a stupid idea to counter another stupid idea?
Count me in!

Astrid and Hiccup manage to convince the others to go along with their stupid idea, although the Twins are confused at first about their being a Dragon Flight Club and there not being a Dragon Flight Club at the same time and Fishleg's only goes along with it at the promise of a statue of himself. 

With the team assembled, Hiccup explains that he's come up with a shitload of exercises to prepare for riders on any type of dragon from Typhoomerangs to Whispering Death's. Snotlout loses his patience with Hiccu[p's rambling and wants to get the fuck going. They head towards Changewing Island first, Tuffnut wants to get his hands on a Stone of Good Fortune again. Astrid reminds his dumb ass that they're Changewing eggs, Fishleg's threatens to break Tuff's neck if he touches one. He does not want to revisit the Changewing debacle. 

The teens watch as a pack of Changewing's hunt a boar, a boar that Ruff and Tuff seem to recognise. They the Changewing's to leave Beorn alone, then the Changewing's start hunting them. Hiccup realises that once they're in the open sky, the Changewing's will have shit to camouflage against. The teens put this to use and fight them off. 

Back at Berk, Stoick is heading towards Gobber's shop. Gobber is inspecting Hiccup's shield trying to find the mechanism for the grappling hook. Stoick barges in and Gobber accidentally sets off the grappling hook. 

Uh, is anybody looking?

After that little bit of akwardness, Stoick asks Gobber if he's improved Thornado's saddle. Gobber tells him he has but it ain't much good for anything with the ban on flying. Gobber then realizes that the ban is for everyone except the Chief. So, he even banned the other adult's from flying? This idea just gets dumber and dumber the more we learn about it. Perhaps Stoick is starting to realise how stupid it is too, and decides that at least somebody ought to fly their dragons. 

Back with the Dragon Flight Club, Fishlegs is examining a Typhoomerang ring. He explains that a ring can show you the age and size of the dragon in question, even where it went after it made the ring. Snotlout says he can tell where it went without all that stupid observationy shit, because it's coming right at them. They get the hell out of dodge. 

On the way back, Tuffnut looks down and asks Hiccup when Stoick joined the Dragon Flight Club. Hiccup tell him he never did, and Tuffnut points out that he's right underneath them. Hiccup tells the others to hide in the clouds. They do just that, but Ruffnut and Tuffnut try to look outside the clouds because they can't see. 

-We can't see shit in these clouds!
- That's the point you fucking simpletons!

Stoick sees Ruff and Tuff and Hiccup tells the DFC to scatter and run like children. Stoick gives chase, but they give him the slip through the clouds. They all manage to reach their houses unseen, except for Fishlegs whose caught by Stoick at the very last minute. Stoick takes him away for questioning. 

Stoick and Gobber have Fishlegs in the Great Hall for questioning. Stoick asks Fishlegs why he was out on his dragon and who was with him. But Fishlegs only repeats "My name is Fishlegs, I live on the Island of Berk, I don't know anything about dragons or those who ride them.", so much so that it starts freaking Gobber out. Stoick tries to reassure Fishlegs, telling him that it's not an interrogation. Gobber then puts out the light, making it seem much more like an interrogation. But Fishlegs only repeats what he's been saying since the start. 

Back at the academy, Fishlegs tells Astrid and Hiccup that despite the lights going out and the pant wetting fear that went through him, he managed to hold firm, because he remembered that the first rule of DFC  is that there is no DFC, something Ruff and Tuff are still confused about. Snotlout then barges in on a pissed off Hookfang. Hiccup asks him what the meaning of this is. 

Oh, it's nothing. Alvin and the Outcasts are just attacking
as we speak. Just thought you'd want to know.

With Alvin and his fleet on the way, Hiccup goes to wake up Stoick. Stoick however nearly chops Hiccup's head off when he's awakened from a deep sleep. Hiccup warns Stoick about Alvin's approaching fleet, and Stoick wants to know how he knew that. Hiccup then points out that Stoick was also out on his dragon despite the ban. Stoick quickly changes the subject to avoid facing that burn and tells Hiccup to round up the other riders. 

They ride out to meet Alvin's fleet. Stoick gives them the plan of action and charges in to fuck shit up. The Outcasts feeble efforts prove worthless against Thornado, who just throws anything they fire at him right back at them. But Alvin has a few tricks up his sleeve. He releases a pack of Changewing's from his ships and sends them off toward Berk. Stoick and Hiccup send the others off to deal with the Changewing's while they deal with Alvin. They combine their shots to rain fire down upon them. 

 Pretty!

Alvin admits defeat and tells his ships to retreat. Hiccup and Stoick pat themselves on the back for their victory. But Hiccup thinks something's fuckey here. He thinks Alvin would have a better plan than this. 

And it turns out he really does. Alvin's little attack was just a diversion. Savage and Mildew (the traitorous scumfuck) are in a set of caves beneath Berk planting Whispering Death eggs. The idea is for the Whispering Deaths to take Berk from underneath. Alvin you clever bastard. 

Back at Berk, Stoick and Hiccup are having dinner. Stoick tells Hiccup  that he's disappointed that Hiccup disobeyed him, but he can admit when he made a stupid decision. He lifts the ban and asks Hiccup about the DFC. 

Meanwhile, under Berk...

Oh Shit Son!!

Summary

Not a bad season opener. I just think the whole idea of Stoick banning flying Dragon's is a bit stupid, like the writer's had to come up with some kind of dramatic complication for the first episode. What are the advantages of banning flying? What is the justification for it? Hiccup is juts as likely to be in danger when Alvin comes with a fleet, and Stoick just removed their biggest game changing advantage. 

So while the plot did seem kinda stupid, it was still a good episode. The jokes are still spot on, and the ending fight scene was great and had some wonderful buts of animation. Speaking of which, the animation is noticeably improved from the first season. And Alvin's plan was also very clever, and should lead to a great pay-off. 

6.5/10