Friday 27 December 2013

Movie Review: Gojira/Godzilla (1954)


The original 1954 Godzilla. Let's hope there's more to it than a guy in a rubber suit.

Wednesday 25 December 2013

Dragons Riders of Berk Reviews: Episode 7 - How To Pick Your Dragon



Now before I get to the review I'd just like to say...........

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Merry Christmas Everybody!!


Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas One and All!

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Enjoy it while it lasts it folks! Until next year of course. And now onto the review.





The episode opens with a very damaged ship being pulled into port, it was attacked by a rogue dragon. Stoick is on the ship and helps the villagers hoist it in. Hiccup and Toothless watch in pity. The narration tells us that there's two ways of handling sticky situations, The Dragon way and the Viking way. Since Dragons and Vikings came together, the Viking way has become the hard way. And Stoick refuses to do anything other than the Viking way. So he's a conservative, has two perfectly good feet but just can't walk forward. 

Hiccup suggests that if Stoick had a dragon he could have gotten there in 5 minutes instead of two hours and he might have even been able to fight the rogue dragon off. But just like any stubborn conservative, Stoick refuses to break tradition. However Gobber backs Hiccup up, pointing out what he could do on the back of a dragon. Stoick however credits Gobber with the idea as if Hiccup said nothing. I sense father-son drama. Stoick wants to learn to fly, and asks Hiccup to teach him.

So Hiccup tries to teach Stoick the basics of flying Dragons. However Stoick doesn't understand the trust/friendship part of the equation. And he also doesn't have the basics down either. They're take-off turns into a complete disaster as Stoick nearly kills them and rams Toothless into numerous rocks and finally a hard landing on the beach. Toothless is about to drop from exhaustion.


What have you got me into?!

Hiccup gives toothless a very sincere apology. Stoick decides he's had enough of this shit and goes off to look after his village. Or he would if he wasn't stuck on a beach surrounded by cliffs. He asks Hiccup for a ride home.

Hiccup has a different idea however. He takes his dad to see what shit they can get done on the back of a dragon. They catch Ruffnut and Tuffnut tipping over Yak's. And they fend off wild boars eating Mildew's cabbage, or at least I think it's Mildew's cabbage. Actually I kinda wish it is Mildew's Cabbage. Serves ya right, ya old fuck!

Hiccup then takes Stoick on a ride through the clouds with the Romantic Flight track from the movie. Which, although I'm happy to hear it again, it does make this scene seem a lot more romantic and awkward than it should. But, it's still a nice touching little scene.


OK, tone it down a bit.

The next day. Hiccup wakes up to find Toothless gone. He goes outside and catches Stoick riding Toothless. He crashes into a bunch of houses and Astrid and Fishlegs comment on how unexpected and disturbing this is. Stoick then lands at the house. Toothless looks like he's ready to quit on life. 

Stoick tells Hiccup they've been all over the village, and that chiefing has never been so easy. Hiccup tries to explain to him that Hiccup is his dragon, or at least he would if Stoick didn't interrupt him. I like how these two still have problems after the movie. They're relationship is nowhere near as bad as the movie, but there's still kinks to work out. And Stoick still has listening problems. Not to mention that Hiccup's little plan kinda backfired as now he can't get his dad off Toothless.

Stoick goes through the village fixing the problems that would have taken longer before, but now only take a few seconds. He's obviously warmed up to the idea of riding dragons. Toothless however is not too cuddly over the idea, as Stoick pushes him real hard. More than he can take. Hiccup has a dilemma, he managed to get his dad on a dragon but now he has to get him off one. Astrid just suggests using the Honey and the Hatchet, telling him something he wants to hear then slapping him with something he doesn't want to hear. 

Back at the house, Stoick can't find Toothless and asks Hiccup where he is.


Shhh, I'm not here.

Hiccup says he doesn't know, but makes a positive comment about Stoick's beard. Stoick gets the gist and tells Hiccup to give him the hatchet. Hiccup then clears the air with Stoick, telling him that he just can't keep taking Toothless. Stoick takes this surprisingly well and thinks that's fair. I find this interesting, as it would suggest that Hiccup still feels like his relationship is still a little one-sided. But it turns out that his dad is more reasonable than he thought. Or maybe I'm thinking this because that's how my relationship with my dad was like, and this just reminds me of that.

So Stoick agrees that Hiccup's request is reasonable, but asks Hiccup to find him his own dragon. Something he thinks shouldn't be too difficult for Hiccup. So Hiccup takes Stoick on a presentation of the dragons specie's on the Island and see which one suits him best. The teens present their dragons. Snotlout presents his Monstrous Nightmare as the only dragon suitable to men of Stoick's stature. And he also presents Hookfang as if he were in a modern commercial, which is pretty funny. But Stoick gets burned by Hookfang's Flammable skin. Next is Astrid and her Nadder, who launches spikes at Stoick. The twins just fight, making Barf and Belch imitate them. And Fishlegs makes a presentation that is far too sentimental for Stoick's tastes. Just as it seems there isn't a suitable dragon for Stoick, Gobber barges in and gives Stoick the news that a fishing boat is being attacked by the rogue dragon. Stoick and Hiccup fly off on Toothless to deal with it. And we meet our first new dragon (that was actually mentioned in the movie), the Thunder drum. 


Finally, some of the more epic dragons arrive.

And for its first appearance, the ThunderDrum is an awesome dragon. Hiccup mentions that it's a very powerful dragon that gets its power from Thor himself. And it proves to be a match for Stoick and Hiccup on Toothless. 

But after a few blasts, they think they've scared the ThunderDrum away and land on the boat with Bucket and Mulch. Just as they're about to escort them back, The ThunderDrum pulls Stoick under the water. Stoick's chances don't look good.

But Stoick just punches logic in the face and kicks the ThunderDrum's ass onto the ship. And on the ship he manages to immobilise the ThunderDrum. He then asks Hiccup to train it for him with Bucket, Mulch and Hiccup just staring in disbelief. I kind figured the Rogue Dragon would end up being Stoick's Dragon.

Back at the arena, The Thunderdrum is held inside a cage, and Hiccup now has to train it for Stoick. Hiccup once again has to get Stoick to understand the trust/friendship part, though it's no easier now than it was before. Hiccup tries comparing it to Stoick and Gobber's friendship. And we learn that Stoick and Gobber first met when Gobber was hitting on Stoick's wife. That's not what Hiccup had in mind though. He instructs Stoick to make eye contact, and to concentrate on trust. Something Stoick still kinda brushes off. So Hiccup opens the cage and allows Stoick to attempt to tame him. The Thunderdrum tries to bite him and Stoick punches the shit out of it!


Falcon Punch!!

Stoick then proceeds to pull its tail as it tries to get away and jump on its back against its will. Stoick flies off on the ThunderDrum's back as it tries to throw him off. Hiccup is not the least bit impressed. 

Hiccup talks to Gobber about his dad, he tries to talk to him but he never listens. Gobber just tells him that it's a father's job to listen to his son, without ever letting on that he's heard a word. A dynamic I can't get behind. 

Just as they're discussing Stoick, he shows up looking like he's been through a rough patch. Hiccup inquires what happened, and Stoick tells him the dragon threw him off and went to who knows where. Hiccup asks Stoick what he expected, since all he did was fight him. Stoick thinks he loved it, and then goes off to try and find the ThunderDrum. Hiccup reluctantly follows.

So Stoick and the Dragon Riders spread out across the island trying to find the ThunderDrum. Stoick and Hiccup fly around on Toothless. Hiccup tries to tell Stoick to approach the dragon differently, but Stoick spots the Dragon and brushes Hiccup's advice aside. 

They set down, the ThunderDrum charges at them with its harness still on, Toothless rears up but Hiccup calls him off. Stoick then pulls out a hammer and advances on the Dragon.


Yes, because that sure won't antagonise him.
Not in the slightest.

However just as he's about to kick some scaly dragon ass, he notices another in injured ThunderDrum in its lair. He realises why the Dragon was so hostile and why it was stealing all the fish, and sees an opportunity. He sends Hiccup to go get the others. It's just him and the dragon now.

But just as Stoick tries to gain the dragon's trust, a pack of demon boars that crawled out of Satan's asshole appear out of the fog to chow on the injured Dragon. Usually I'd think that fighting a bunch of pigs would be pretty silly and more funny than exciting, but these are boars and they're apparently really fucking crazy. 

Stoick shows off what a badass he is by taking his hammer and smacking the shit out those boars. And we get a pretty awesome fight scene that's Stoick just being awesome and he also manages to bond with the Thunderdrum. Although, I think he gains its trust just a little too quickly. As a matter of fact I think this episode should have been a 2-parter, because Stoick getting a dragon is a pretty big deal and I don't feel that the episode brought this concept to its full potential. But it's still pretty well done though.


Funny, we were beating the crap out of each other
not even a few hours ago.

But the bonding will have to wait, as there's still pesky boars to take care of. So Stoick gets on the Dragon's back and they blow away those damn boars with a sonic blast. Hiccup and the others arrive and Hiccup is awe-struck that his dad managed to gain the dragon's trust without his guidance. Stoick just says that it's all about trust. So Stoick actually did listen to Hiccup. 

They bring the injured Thunderdrum to Gobber. And Stoick finally converts to the Dragon way. The ending Narration tells that us although Stoick still does things the Viking Way, Toothless and Hiccup showed him that the Viking Way could also be the Dragon way. Take that conservatives!

And we end with Stoick and Hiccup riding together on their dragons together, which is a very touching Father/Son moment and we also get to hear a really epic rendition of Flight Test from the Movie.


It couldn't have had a better ending.


Summary

This was another Great episode. We got introduced to one of the more epic dragons that had a cameo in the movie and the Book of Dragons. Stoick gets his own dragon, and one that actually really suits him. And this should write in stone that the dragons are here to stay. Mildew won't be able to get rid of them now, or at least with Stoick's consent. But what's he honestly going to do now?

And this episode also has a great focus on Hiccup and Stoick's relationship. While their relationship has greatly improved, there still are problems to work out. It's good to know that their relationship hasn't got so good that there aren't any problems at all. Although that one moment with the Romantic Flight track was a little awkward, the father/son moments were great. And I especially love the renditions of John Powell's score.

So another great episode, and next episode is another concentrating on Hiccup and Stoick's relationship. 

9/10

Monday 23 December 2013

Movie Review: Godzilla (1998)


The only Godzilla movie I've seen, and the one everyone seems to hate. I also comment on the Trailer for the 2014 Godzilla.

Sunday 22 December 2013

Dragons Riders of Berk Reviews: Episode 6 - Alvin and the Outcasts



Last episode, Mildew framed the dragons for stealing boots, tearing up the Great Hall, and blowing up the armoury. Stoick banishes the dragons but Hiccup suspects Mildew is a treasonous scumbag and finds the evidence to back it up. Only to have Mildew throw it into the ocean. Hiccup is determined to prove the dragon's innocent. And in part 2, we meet our main villain.





The teen's dragons are on Dragon Island. Meatlug is depressed and Hookfang, Barf and Belch are duking it out. Toothless has to keep the Riff Raff in line. He nuzzles his saddle and looks out to the distance. Poor Toothless.

Hiccup and the others are on the beach trying to find the fake dragon feet that Mildew threw into the ocean. Snotlout complains that they've been there for hours and are not finding anything. Hiccup points out they've been there for 10 minutes and that he's done nothing but build a stupid sand castle. Hiccup knows that evidence is out there, but Fishlegs says the chances of finding it are as good as Snotlout and Astrid  getting together. Which is practically non-existent. 

But all is not lost as it seems Snotlout has found the fake dragon feet. Only for it to be his first bludgeon from his childhood. Hiccup tells the others to keep looking.

Cut to Gobber repairing to an axe. He's got 1 repaired and has 365 to go. Stoick tells him to work faster as they're completely defenceless. Gobber tells him that he should have thought of that before he sent the dragons away. Which is a pretty good point, but Stoick stands firm saying they destroyed the armoury and that he had no choice. Gobber continues to rub Stoick's questionable decision in his face by mentioning Alvin the Treacherous, they're most feared enemy. So wait a minute, back in episode 2 when Gobber was out of a job because his smithing skills weren't in high demand. But wouldn't being at war with another tribe create a demand for repairing swords and such? Was the second episode rendered pointless?

With that, we meet Alvin the Treacherous voiced by MARK FUCKING HAMILL!!!



The Joker in How To Train Your Dragon?
Sick!
We get a pretty badass introduction as dragons are attacking Alvin and his tribe. Alvin grabs a catapult and knocks a dragon out of the sky. But there are too many dragons and Alvin and his men are forced to retreat inside. Mark Hamill, as expected, does a damn fine job with the voice acting. I honestly can't tell it's him. 

Alvin asks his right-hand bitch if the ships are ready. He wants to land in Berk, not for Stoick or to take the Island even though that would be pretty easy right now, he's going there to find the "Dragon Conqueror". His lackey tells him he's 8 feet tall with the strength of a dozen men. Alvin thinks he shouldn't be too hard to find.


Indeed.

Hiccup is trying to convince Stoick that he seen fake dragon feet that Mildew used to frame the dragons for crimes they didn't commit. Stoick is willing to listen to Hiccup and wants to see them to confirm it. But just like a prosecutor in a trial, Hiccup's gonna need that evidence to accuse Mildew of High Treason. Evidence he doesn't have. Isn't an eye witness account enough? Apparently not, even in Viking culture. Which I find questionable.

Hiccup and Astrid are walking along the edge of town discussing how their going to prove Mildew committed those crimes when Astrid spots a ship in the distance. Hiccup takes a closer look and sees it's an outcast ship. He runs off to warn the village. At night, Alvin lands on the beach. And I have to comment of the show's score, it's pretty awesome. Alvin comments that it's good to be back on the shores of Berk. A former resident coming to claim the island as his own eh? Oh, how I love power struggles.

While that's going on, Stoick tries to maintain order in the face of an attack. Much easier said than done, especially when Mildew tries to make it out like it's all Hiccup's fault. But Stoick tells Mildew to shut the fuck up, as he has no time for his finger-pointing bullshit. The only thing that would make this better is if he knocked him out. 

Stoick sends Bucket and Mulch to take the vulnerable to the beach, gives Astrid Alvin's hatchet and sends them with the others. Hiccup asks his dad if he can go get the dragons, as they can defend themselves if they have them. Unable to argue with that, he agrees and sends Hiccup to retrieve the dragon. The rest of the tribe are going with Stoick to ambush Alvin's men.


All four of them.

Fishlegs did not get the memo that they're under attack by a rival tribe and is sitting on a cliff top in a state of self-loathing for having to get rid of Meatlug. He tries to make a poem about her, but can't find a word that rhymes with empty. Alvin sneaks up behind him and tells him to stop wasting his time, as nothing rhymes with empty. 



Sure nothing does.

Alvin Holds Fishlegs over the cliff and demands the location of the Dragon Conqueror. But the only thing he can get out of Fishlegs is a girly scream, so he chucks him into the ocean. 

Back at the village, Hiccup is trying to get to a boat so he can get to Dragon Island. However, the Outcasts beat him to the docks and they converge on the village from the land as well. Hiccup hides underneath one of the houses and finds Fishlegs. Fishlegs tell Hiccup Alvin's looking for him. 

Alvin finds the destroyed armoury and the village empty. But one of his soldiers informs him that an idiot with a bucket on his head and the vulnerable villagers are heading to the beach. Alvin sends some of his men to find Stoick and heads off to take hostages. Shit just got serious. Hiccup goes off to warn Bucket and Mulch and sends Fishlegs to find Stoick.

Stoick and Gobber are awaiting Alvin and his men, and all they got is two frying pans, a rolling pin and a kitchen knife. Stoick wanders what they're supposed to do with all that. Bake Alvin a cake?! Gobber responds by throwing the kitchen knife at a tree.


That ought a be useful.

Bucket and Mulch are leading the other villagers to the beach. Bucket however has a heart of mush and went back for a little girls lamb doll. Mulch goes back for him but both of them are captured by Alvin. They take them to the others.

Stoick and the others ambush Alvin's men in what is a pretty awesome fight scene. And it's nice to see Stoick kicking some ass. As they defeat the Outcasts, they see another running through the forest. Stoick jumps him and is about to introduce him to a world of pain, but its actually Fishlegs. Fishlegs informs Stoick that Alvin as after Hiccup. 

Back at the beach, Alvin has captured the vulnerable villagers and the teens. Alvin introduces himself (which seems kinda unnecessary seeing as he's apparently from Berk) and says that he's not there for Stoick, he's there for the Dragon Conqueror, and they all know who that is. Including Mildew who whispers into Astrid's ear, "Say goodbye to Hiccup".
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You old bastard, you wouldn't! Somebody knock this fucker out before......



....that was GLORIOUS!!!!

So after that little bit of satisfaction, Alvin demands they tell him where the Dragon Conqueror is and they can go free. Snotlout decides to be a smartass and rushes to face Alvin with his bludgeon. Only to just hand it over the moment Alvin puts up resistance. Astrid tries taking him out with his own hatchet, but he just catches it mid-air. He singles Astrid out and pulls her hair demanding the location of the Dragon Conqueror. Out of the blue, Hiccup shows up and admits he's the Dragon Conqueror. Alvin simply laughs, unable to comprehend how Stoick's little embarrassment could possibly be the Dragon Conqueror he's seeking. Hiccup however points out there's no dragons around and that he drove them away. Astrid backs up his bluff by claiming he even conquered a Night Fury. Alvin has a look of doubt and fear on his face, with music that sends shivers down my spine, and claims Hiccup's bluffing. Hiccup convinces Alvin to take him to Dragon Island to see for himself. Hiccup you clever bastard.

So Alvin takes Hiccup and leaves a few of his men to guard the prisoners. Stoick and Gobber serve them a dish of ass-whooping and free the prisoners. Astrid tells them that Alvin took Hiccup.

Hiccup and Alvin are on an Outcast ship heading for Dragon Island. Alvin is sure Stoick has told Hiccup about their Island's most feared enemy. Hiccup just tells Alvin, rather sarcastically, that his dad never mentioned him. Alvin is annoyed by this. As they land, Hiccup makes more sarcastic banter at Alvin's expense. Alvin then notices Toothless. He's never seen a Night Fury before and is visibly terrified.


I think I pissed myself.

Hiccup approaches Toothless who jumps on top of him and starts licking him like an overgrown dog. God I love Toothless. Hiccup makes it look like he's fighting Toothless and manages to get his saddle back on. Alvin inquires what he's doing with the dragon. And in a moment of pure badassness, Hiccup just turns around and tells Alvin that it's not The Dragon Conqueror, it's Dragon Trainer. Hiccup flies away and what ensues is a pretty epic battle scene between the Outcasts and the dragon riders as they show up, with some great animation, and Alvin and Stoick have a pretty awesome hand-to-hand brawl. The slow-motion shots happen a bit too often, but that's just an insignificant nitpick. The battle ends with Alvin's ship being sunk and the Outcasts being stranded on Dragon Island. But Alvin just laughs manically, proclaiming that if they get Hiccup, then they'll be able to ride dragons.

The riders get back to Berk. The village cheers their victory and welcomes the Dragons back. But Mildew tries to remind them of what the dragons "did". Stoick knows what they did, they saved their lives. And he gives Mildew a glare that shuts him right up. And Hiccup threatens Mildew that he can't prove what he did, but he'll never forget it. Burn! And with that, the dragons are reintegrated into the Viking way of life. And on another note, the remixed theme from the movie is pretty damn awesome. 


Summary

This episode was awesome! We got introduced to our main villain whose introduction is great, Mark Hamill is awesome as expected, and he and Hiccup have some great sarcastic moments. And there was some great action in this episode. Although the numbers of men involved didn't make them as exciting as they should be, since it's TV with a small budget I'm willing to let that slide. The last battle between Stoick and Alvin was epic and the animation in this episode was top-notch. Well, for TV anyway. And I'm loving the score for the TV series. 

After the first few episodes, it's nice to see the show reaching its potential. Let's hope the show manages to keep up this quality. 

9/10

Friday 20 December 2013

Dragons Riders of Berk Reviews: Episode 5 - In Dragons We Trust



Now before I get to my review, I'm going to talk about the new official trailer for How To Train Your Dragon 2 that was released yesterday. Holy tripping balls, June cannot come soon enough dammit! This trailer was awesome! We got to see the new glorious animation, we got a ton of new dragons, the plot looks awesome, and we get a few moments of Hiccup and Toothless goofing around. Those lovable rapscallions, they haven't changed a bit. It's an awesome, epic trailer that has me more excited than ever. But don't take my word for it.

Here's the trailer if you haven't seen it yet.



Amaziiiiiiiiiiiing!!! Though pretty big spoiler you Marketing asshats! Oh well, the rest of it is sick, and I'm more hyped than ever for the sequel. And remember kiddie's, If I miss it in theatres, someone's going to pay.

But as awesome as the new trailer is, that is not what I'm here to talk about, I just wanted to share my thoughts on it. I'm reviewing the TV series and I'm only on the fifth episode. And there's still six months left to waste and 35 episodes to go, so let's get to it.




So after a nice opening shot of Berk, we see Hiccup randomly falling out of the sky. Before he crashes into the water and dies a horrible death, Toothless catches him. The narration tells us that in life, you need to know who you can trust, and who you can't. A sentiment I can relate to. 

Hiccup flies over to Fishlegs and tells him to jump off his Dragon. Fishlegs doesn't want to, but Hiccup tells him that it's a trust exercise and that he needs to trust his dragon to catch him. Fishlegs would rather do his trusting on the ground, another sentiment I can relate to. And besides, this seems like a pretty risky exercise. What if the dragon doesn't catch you in time? What if it doesn't even know you jumped off?




Like so.

Astrid and Toothless tell Hookfang that Snotlout jumped off. Hookfang flies as fast as he can too retrieve Snotlout. He catches just in time, but not before they crash into a house. And that house belongs to a certain Cantankerous old man.



Snotlout and Hookfang get the hell out of dodge as Mildew cries out "You'll pay for this!", and something tells Hiccup that they'll be hearing about this. 

And indeed he does. Stoick shows Hiccup a piece of roofing. Hiccup jokes about it, but after seeing that his dad is in no mood for goofing around, tells Stoick that it was an accident and Mildew is probably blowing it way out of proportion. Stoick says that a dragon and a large obnoxious boy crashed through his roof, twice. So it's worse than he's saying it is. 

Stoick goes on saying of all the houses in Berk, it had to be Mildew's. Since he hates dragons more than anyone, he thinks he'll use it against them. Stoick goes on to say that whatever the dragons do will reflect on Hiccup, and whatever Hiccup does reflects on him. Hey, it's not all about you Stoick. Hiccup is in luck though, as all he has to do is fix Mildew's roof. Hiccup feels he caught a lucky break. But come on, Mildew is just one old man. What could he possibly do to have the dragons severely punished?


Ohhhhh............

Now if any of you are about to yell "You're spoiling it, you dick!", I think it's pretty obvious that it's Mildew. I mean, who else could it be? 

Anyway, so Hiccup and the teens have to leave their parents' boots outside to air out. A "mysterious" figure steals the boots. In the morning, the town wakes up to find their boots missing. Mildew points out a set of footprints and leads the village to the arena where a Zippleback is sleeping beside a pile of torn boots.

Mildew tries to rile up the town against the dragons once again, and it works at first. Until Gobber points out they're being a bunch of pansies and tells them to man up! He'll have their boots fixed as good as new. The town accepts this, except for Mildew of course. He wants consequences for the dragons. Stoick's just like "Mildew, they just took our boots. It's not that big a deal. Get over yourself!". Ha! If you want the dragons gone, it's gonna take more than that Mildew. And I don't think you got the gall for it.




..................... I underestimated you Mildew

The teens, hoping to stop dragons from getting blamed for anything else, start night patrols under the name Dragon United Monitoring Brigade, DUMB for short. After some hilarious exchanges between Gobber and Snotlout about the sash with DUMB written on it, and the twins scaring Fishlegs (it was mostly Hookfang though) Hiccup thinks the dragons are safe for the night. 

Only to wake up in the morning to the Great Hall becoming the scratch pad of what is "assumedly" a Monstrous Nightmare. Snotlout says that Hookfang might have, maybe, sort of, wandered off for a few hours. 

Just as they're discussing this, Mildew comes in talking about his three weddings and they're three funerals. He seems to get an orgasm from mentioning the funerals.  Hiccup finds it fishy that a dragon would do this for no reason. But Stoick doesn't want to take the risk, and he tells Hiccup to cage the Dragons. Mildew is not impressed, he wants no less than for the dragons to be gone. But Stoick doesn't think it's gotten that bad yet. Mildew's going to have to do a lot better than that if he wants them gone. Now I know he's surprised me twice now, but he can't have the nerve to do something worse than desecrating their Great Hall. Can he?




OH YOU WHORE!!!!

As the teens are about to cage their dragons, Hiccup thinks he has an explanation for what happened with the boots and the Great Hall. He goes off to tell his father, leaving Toothless outside. Big mistake. Toothless gets lead into the armoury by an "unknown person", and as he enters a barrel of, something explosive, explodes making it look like Toothless destroyed the armoury and leaving the town utterly defenceless. And there's a pesky witness that confirms he saw Toothless do it. 

With this, Mildew finally convinces Stoick to banish the dragons. Which again, how do you banish dragons? What's stopping them from coming back? And what will they do if they do come back? I guess they'll revert to the good old days.

So the teens go to Dragon Island to drop them off there. They all have their tearful goodbye's. Which aren't all that sad because, again, how do you stop them from coming back? Toothless, who can't go back even if he had a mind too, and Hiccup saying goodbye however, is pretty sad. 


:'(

But I think it's mostly because the piano solo from the movie plays over it. The piano is the saddest instrument, I swear to god, you could play it over anything and it would be overly emotional!

With heavy hearts, Hiccup and the group depart. But Hiccup suspects that Mildew staged the boots, the Great Hall, the whole damn deal. Astrid says that's a pretty big accusation and asks how Hiccup's going to prove it. 

By sneaking into Mildew's house and finding evidence of course! Which he does find. He finds fake dragon claws and limbs used to fabricate the incidents. However Mildew enters just as Hiccup is about to make off with the evidence. Hiccup manages to hide in time, but Mildew, like any smart criminal, disposes of the evidence by throwing them in the ocean. Hiccup is now determined to prove the Dragon's innocence and Mildew's guilt.

Will he succeed? Find out in Part 2.


Summary

Although this was kind of a repeat of the first episode, and it again brings up how they're supposed to successfully banish the dragons, it was still a good episode. There's some great comedy as usual, Mildew is turning out to be a bigger threat than I anticipated since I thought he was just going to be a babbling old man that's relatively harmless, and there was of course that emotional moment at the end, even if the scenario was a bit forced.

So another great episode, and makes up for the last two episodes, which were lackluster. And next week, we get introduced to our main villain of the series. How fun!

8/10

Wednesday 18 December 2013

Balkanization/Partition of Syria


Partitioning or Balkanizing Syria into different states or autonomous regions based on religious and ethnic boundary's might be a good idea at this point.

Saturday 14 December 2013

Dragons Riders of Berk Reviews: Episode 4 - The Terrible Twos



So, the last episode wasn't very impressive. As a matter of fact it was a bit of a chore to sit through. Perhaps this episode will be better? Let's find out.





So the episode starts with the riders cruising through the forest for some unknown purpose. The narration opens with "When riding a dragon, communication is key" so I'll assume they're working on communication. Snotlout doesn't have good communication and Hookfang purposely rides through branches to spite him. Astrid makes a wrong call that Stormfly knew better than to follow. And Fishlegs is nowhere to be found. Ruff and Tuff say they saw him yesterday and ask if that counts. It does not. So Hiccup goes to find Fishlegs.

He finds him and Meatlug stuck in trees. Fishlegs is stuck good, so Toothless has to blast him out of the tree. But there's still Meatlug to.....



Oh, never mind.

Hiccup asks Fishlegs how they got into this ludicrous predicament in the first place. Fishlegs says he was just going around minding his own business, doing guy stuff, you know just doing his thing, but then suddenly what he thought was a flaming flying squirrel came right out of nowhere. Hiccup finds this notion to be absolutely preposterous. Fishlegs flies off saying he knows what he saw. 

Just as Hiccup is saying to himself "Flying squirrels? Pff, what a dumbass!", suddenly a ball of flame flies right before his very eyes! He turns to Toothless for confirmation of what he just saw, because his only other option would be to start questioning his own sanity. 

However, he finds a baby dragon hiding in the rocks. And this ain't no dragon we've seen in the movie before, so first new dragon in the series! Sweet! The dragon doesn't start out very friendly, but he warms up to Hiccup pretty quick. Toothless does not seem to like the little dragon at all. Hiccup thinks something's getting into Toothless. I think Toothless just knows a little shit when he sees one.


You don't fool me, you little shit!

Hiccup brings the dragon to the arena. The group (especially Fishlegs) is pretty excited about discovering a new species of dragon. And it's actually a dragon that's not even recorded in the book of dragons. In the movie, there were a bunch of dragons that were recorded in the book. But this dragon is an entirely new one created for the TV series. 

Fishlegs continues on his lecture about it being an unknown dragons and that there's no telling what it can do. Tuffnut commands it to flame. 


I said, Flame!!

To study it further, Hiccup decides to bring it home. Seeing as Toothless doesn't like the dragon at all, I can't see this ending well at all.

Stoick at first is not open to the idea. He has a one dragon limit and he aims to keep it that way. At least until Torch steals Toothless' job and lights the fire in the fireplace. Stoick tells Toothless he got torched, which is also the named he gives to the little dragon, and says that they can't throw him out when they just named him. So much for the one dragon only rule.

And the next scenes really show what a little shit Torch is. He eats all of Toothless' food, and he has the audacity to steal his bed! And to make it all worse, Hiccup doesn't think for a moment that Torch might be misbehaving. 

Hiccup, what the fuck? 

Meanwhile back at the rock where Torch was found...... OH SHIT!!


Mommy's very angry!

Torch's mother sees that her baby is gone and lights the forest in rage. Toothless sees the light and goes to investigate. He knows what's up.

The next day, Hiccup and the teens gather to give Torch a bunch of tests to determine what his strengths and weaknesses are. Fishlegs is enthusiastic, and Snotlout gives the specie's uninspired name after uninspired name. When its time to get Torch to fly, Hiccup asks Toothless to go flying.


Frig off!

Since Toothless ain't having none of it, Snotlout goes flying through stock footage from the first episode to show Torch how to fly. After seeing Snotlout and Hookfang fly, Torch gives it a shot. He puts on quite a performance as he spins around in a circle as a flaming ball of fire. He leaves quite a burn mark as well. Impressed, the teens decide to call the species the Typhoomerang, as he spins like typhoon and comes back like a boomerang. Makes sense.

Back at the house, Hiccup is trying to draw Torch for a new chapter in the book of dragons. Toothless is annoyed by this. He hears the mother Typhoomerang's roars and tries to tell Hiccup, but he is of course a dragon and Hiccup doesn't make out what all his roars are about. But I mean, Hiccup should get the gist that something is wrong! Why is he not listening to Toothless in favour of Torch? After everything that happened in the movie, this is just not right, something's gone fucky here!

Hiccup tells Toothless to behave while he's gone. Torch bites Toothless' tail after Toothless accidentally smacked him with his wing. A chase ensues and Torch lights a fire. Hiccup runs back up and puts out the fire, and automatically assumes that Toothless lit the fire! 

Hiccup, what....the......fuck?!

Toothless jumps out the window, crushed. He goes off to find the Typhoomerang mother, and sees that she is a titan of a dragon. Knowing Hiccup is in big trouble, he goes back to try to take Torch to his mother.

Hiccup is talking with Gobber as Toothless comes to collect Torch. Torch seems to get the message and allows Toothless to carry him. But Hiccup misinterprets this and gets Goober to hold Toothless down. Torch escapes and Toothless chases him around, making it look even worse to Hiccup. Hiccup is pissed at Toothless and thinks he's acting out of jealousy!


Hiccup, what.......the..........FUCK!

Hiccup is riding Toothless to the cove from the movie. Toothless tries to show him the mother Typhoomerang's burn mark, but just as they nearly, almost get there Hiccup turns Toothless' tail to the cove. God dammit Hiccup you tool! 

So Hiccup directs him to the cove and leaves him there!
...
...
...

Hiccup, WHAT THE FUCK?!!! 

During the night, as Toothless sleeps, he sees the Mother Typhoomerang heading toward Berk. He tries to escape, but is trapped in the cove. Nice job Hiccup.

The next day, Hiccup tells the others about Toothless. Astrid says he did the right thing (Astrid, what the fuck?), and that toothless will snap out of it. Snotlout takes this as a chance to take over leadership of the academy from Hiccup, except Astrid would be the next in line to take over. But just as this riveting power struggle is under way, Ruffnut and Tuffnut make a discovery in the forest.

The group investigates, and comes to the conclusion that there is a larger Typhoomerang that just might be Torch's mother. A that moment, Torch's mother appears and spots Torch. Hiccup tries to leave, but Torch has grown too close to him and follows. Torch's Mother chases Hiccup as he jumps into the cove and comes back up on Toothless. However, Torch is still holding to to Hiccup.


Are you trying to get me killed you little bastard!

Still being chased by the Typhooomerang, Hiccup and Toothless exploit her size and cause her to crash. Hiccup and Toothless set down and Torch tires to wake his mother up. She is fine, and Torch is reunited with his mother and siblings.  Hiccup says goodbye to Torch, and he makes up to Toothless for being a butt-head. All's well that ends well. 


Summary

This was a decent episode. We got a new dragons species that is pretty cool, and we get a Toothless centric episode. Toothless has a ton of personality and it's great to get an episode that's centred on him.

But Hiccup, what the fuck? After everything that happened in the movie, Hiccup really treated Toothless badly, to the point where it's really out of character. I don't believe for a second that the Hiccup from the movie would treat Toothless like that! Why in the name of all that is holy would Hiccup refuse to listen to Toothless, who he spent an entire movie developing a friendship he had with no one else before, in favour of this dragon he only found the other day?

So a decent episode that was kinda ruined by Hiccup's out of character reactions to Toothless and way he treated him.

6.5/10

Thursday 12 December 2013

The Walking Dead: The Best or Worst Show Ever?


For a seemingly highly regarded show, The Walking Dead seems to have a lot of people complaining every episode. Is it the best or worst show ever?

Tuesday 10 December 2013

Top 5 The Walking Dead Episodes


The Walking Dead is probably the biggest show on Television right now. With over 10 Million viewers an episode, this zombie drama show following the story of Rick Grimes and his group is one of the best shows on TV. To kill some time during the hiatus till February, I'm going to count my Top 5 The Walking Dead Episodes.

Monday 9 December 2013

Dragons Riders of Berk Reviews: Episode 3 - Animal House


God damn, last week was a pretty good week. The Walking Dead Mid-Season Finale "Too Far Gonewas amazing as holy hell, and the latest episodes of Defenders of Berk, "A View To A Skrill" parts 1 and 2 were epic! I want to just spill my heart out about that episode right here, right now. But all in good time, as I'm only on the third episode of Riders and I'll get to it when I get to it. I've got 26 episodes before I reach that awesomeness, so let's jump into the third episode, shall we?





So, The episode opens with a narration from Hiccup saying that although they made peace with and can trust dragons, their livestock don't know that. Two Dragons fly to the farm where Bucket and Mulch are trying to collect wool, milk and eggs from the Yak's, Sheep and Chicken's. Bucket is confused as to which animal has which resource, so Mulch has to explain to him which is which. Only to find out that the yak's aren't producing any milk. This is gonna lead to problems.

Meanwhile, Hicup and Astrid are sliding down the mountain with their Dragons. Astrid gets a little too competitive and they start hurling things at each other to knock each other out of the race. But Oh Shit! An Avalanche starts and Hiccup and Toothless can't fly because Toothless' metal tail is frozen solid. Hiccup's feeble efforts to get them out of shit creek is futile, as he and Astrid fall down into a chasm and are buried beneath tonnes of snow.


Does this mean what I think it means?

This episode just got interesting. So what's going to happen? Are Hiccup and Astrid going to be stuck underneath a large snow mound, and will have to face the cold, starvation, and have to dig themselves out? Will this be an opportunity to explore their relationship? The Possibilities! So, what happens next?

Well, Toothless shoots a couple blasts and puts a hole in the snow freeing them from... wait, WHAT!!! So that's it? They just get out of this in a matter of seconds? What a waste of a great storyline! And as for further exploration of Hiccup's and Astrid's relationship, they just get close to almost kissing and they break away in an awkward moment. Uhh, I had such high hopes.

So after what could have been a great main plot for the episode, we get to our not-so-great real main plot. So Gobber and Stoick go over to see what's wrong with the farm animals, and Gobber's conclusion is that the animals are so spooked by the dragons that they're not producing milk and other resources they need. Which I find questionable. Do domestic animals really stop producing things like milk when they're scared? But to make matters even worse, Bucket predicts that a large snow storm is coming, but Gobber and Stoick don't believe a bucket can predict a storm, so they consult Gothi the village Shaman. She backs up Bucket's claim.


So Bucket was right!

Hiccup and Astrid are telling the others about they're experience in the mountain and how the dragons used their wings to protect them from the snow. However before they can elaborate further on this, Stoick calls Hiccup to try and deal with the Livestock problem. Hiccup has to show the animals that they don't have to be afraid of Dragons so they'll be able to produce provisions again.


Next we see the teens trying to push the animals toward the dragons to show them they're not a threat to them. They tell the animals that there's nothing to be afraid of.... You know, I'm really not liking this episode. I don't know what it is, but I just really don't like this plot. Animals are going to be afraid of dragons because they're big, fire breathing reptiles. You can't teach an animal to not be afraid of something. If they hang around each other long enough, they'll probably just get used to each other. The idea of trying to teach animals to not be afraid of something I find to be, just stupid. I'm not even sure if it's the plot itself that is the problem, or maybe it's just me.

And not only that, but I think the comedy is also lacking here a bit. But maybe that's because I'm too busy face palming to take notice of it.





.............................

You know what, can I just skip right to "A View to A Skrill"?





GAAHH!!!

Anyway, Hiccup's plan is not working at all. The animals are still scared, and the storm is fast approaching. No matter what they try, they don't get any progress. The storm finally comes, and Gobber evacuates the kids and tries to get the animals to the barn. However, the barn is covered in snow and inaccessible. So they have to herd the animals to the Great Hall with the dragons. This can't end well.

And it certainly doesn't, as WTF!!


When has there ever been lighting during a snow storm?

So Lightning strikes near Stormfly, who panics and scares the animals away. Hiccup and the teens ride after the animals on their dragons, against Gobber's protests. Gobber returns to the Great Hall and tells Stoick the bad news. They both go after the teens.

So the teens are still looking for the animals. And I didn't notice this until now, but the animation has improved quite a bit from the previous two episodes. The backgrounds and the snow storm are pretty nice to look at. 

The teens find the animals and try to herd them into a large group. They fail for the most part due to the storm. A baby sheep falls off a cliff but is saved by Toothless. Hiccup spots what he thinks are two Yaks. Ruffnut and Tuffnut retrieve the Yaks, only they're not Yaks. Stoick and Gobber have come to try and lead the teens back to the Great Hall. However, the storm has covered their tracks and now they don't know the way back. So the group huddles together. Scenes like this are always more awkward than they should be.

Toothless then rallies the other dragons, which is actually pretty cool, Toothless is a leader among the dragons much like Hiccup is a leader among the teens. So Toothless rallies the dragons and they all spread their wings to protect the group from the cold. Which to me looks kinda silly. Uh Dammit! I don't know what it is! But I'm just not digging this, at all! It's supposed to be a heart warming moment, but to me, it's just silly and dumb! 

And as if it couldn't get any worse, the sheep with the baby come along. So let me guess, they're gonna trust the dragons now and come into the big circle. God, I'm really starting to get sick of this shit.........





Oh, Damn this show! It couldn't get me in the rest of the episode, but it got me with this! Toothless going to coerce a baby sheep to the circle. It's stupid, it's dumb, but god dammit that scene when Toothless looks at the baby sheep is so heart-warming it makes me tear up! What is it, why does this scene work when the other doesn't? It's just as dumb and sappy, but it just works! Although this little moment is short-lived, as what I predicted happens immediately after, and it was just as dumb and sappy as I predicted. 

So the animals and the Vikings spend the night under the Dragons wings and return to the Great Hall in the morning. We do get a nice rendition of the Romantic Flight score from the movie, so I guess we did end on a bit of a high note. 

Summary

Uh, this episode. It started off promising. Hiccup and Astrid were having a race down a mountain and got trapped in a chasm under piles of snow. This would have been a much more interesting plot than what we got. 

The thing about the the Dragon's gaining the animal's trust, it just felt really sappy and stupid to me. I guess it's because I'm a cynical guy and, although I love feel-good sappy moments, there's a point where it just crosses a line and it is far too sappy for my liking. I don't like what's in this episode for the same reason I hate the movie War Horse.

The animation in this episode is noticeably improved though, and that one moment with toothless and the baby sheep made this episode worth watching. It didn't make up for it faults, but it made them worth it. And the episode wasn't terrible, for all its worth.

I just hope the next episode is a lot better. 

5/10