Dragons Defenders of Berk has returned from a month long hiatus with The Flight Stuff, and I'm on the 2nd two-parter episode (if you count In Dragons We Trust and Alvin and the Outcasts as a two-parter) of the series. In this we meet a new character named Heather. Does this mean what I think it means? Let's find out.
The episode begins with Hiccup and Toothless flying, through what I swear to god is stock footage from episode 4. But it turns out they're testing Toothless' speed. Fishlegs marks it on a little sun dial. Hiccup asks how they did. Fishlegs tells them that they have passed with flying carpets. However, somebody is catching up to Toothless. Astrid gives Hiccup a coy smirk. Hiccup wanders how it's possible that Toothless is getting slower. Except he's not getting slower, Stormfly (Astrid's dragon in case you forgot) is getting faster! Astrid teases Hiccup, saying she's experimenting with what Stormfly eats.
But before this plot goes any further, Snotlout flies into the academy saying he's found something totally awesome. Ruffnut and Tuffnut guess it's their cousin Lars' severed head. Snotlout tells everybody to stop fucking around if they want to see what he's found.
He leads them to the beach, where the battered remains of a ship have washed up on shore. Snotlout stakes a claim to the valuable object inside. However it isn't an object, it's a teenage girl. I don't know if you know this Snotlout, but you can't just claim people as if they were objects, this isn't Islam! Anyway, Hiccup wakes the girl up and she is noticeably scared. She asks for water, and all the guys rush to give her some. Male competition, I love it!
The girl asks where she is, and Hiccup tells her she's on Berk. Toothless then squeezes in to see the newcomer. The girl is scared, but Hiccup calls toothless back. She comes out, as Hiccup keeps Toothless under control. She asks how he did that, and seems awfully interested. Can't blame her, since she probably hasn't seen anything like that before. Or, hmm, I wonder.
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| Could she be a spy?.............. Nah! |
Snotlout attempts to make an impression on her by calling Hookfang over to him. Hookfang just flies away, and Snotlout just brushes it off as goofing around. He then tries to hit on her saying he rescued her, but Hiccup introduces himself and she seems more interested in him, saying her name is Heather. This noticeably pisses off Snotlout. Astrid inquires how Heather got into this situation. Heather says her family was ambushed by pirates, and that she was the only one who escaped. Hiccup tries to comfort her and tells her his dad is the chief. The group walks away, except for Astrid who checks out the boat. She thinks something's gone fuckey around here. Or perhaps it's just jealousy, I can't tell. Are the writers really going with this kind of plot?
Apparently they are, as Hiccup brings Heather home (leaving Snotlout behind) and lets her sleep in his bed, and they have akward small talk. *sigh*, really Hiccup? I thought you and Astrid were hitting it off? Or was that kiss at the end of the movie just a heat of the moment kind of thing? Why am I looking so deeply into this (If there are any lines that can be interpreted as sexual innuendos in this paragraph I apologise, they were not intended)?
Meanwhile, Astrid is outside with Stormfly, feeding her chicken wings. She plots against Hiccup, saying that by the time he figures out Stormfly is getting so much energy from wings, Hiccup will be eating their dust. But before she can keep revelling in that thought, Stormfly is alerted to the presence of a treacherous swine. Astrid goes to investigate, and finds Heather sneaking around in the night.
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| It appears I am a very poor judge of character. |
In the morning, Hiccup is working on Toothless' tail. Heather walks in and suggests that Hiccup make a shorter connecting rod to make him go faster. He is impressed with her knowledge of Blacksmithing and decides to take her to test out the new tail. Hiccup, you fool!
Astrid is waiting at the meeting spot where her and Hiccup were supposed to test each other's speed (I again apologize if that line can be interpreted in a suggestive way). However, Hiccup simply flies past them with Heather. Astrid gives one solid look of contempt and mutters, "What the Fuck is this shit!".
Back at the academy, Fishlegs is cleaning Meatlug's ears, Ruff and Tuff are sleeping, and Snotlout is trying to calm a pissed off Hookfang. Astrid is looking into the sky at Hiccup. Ruffnut says there's another hen in the rooster house. Interesting way of putting it. Tuffnut however gets confused. Astrid denies she's jealous, but she's doing a pretty horrible job at backing up that denial.
Hiccup lands in the academy with Heather. Astrid chews Hiccup out for not showing up to the race. Hiccup at first is dumbfounded as to what she's talking about, but he quickly remembers and gives a hasty apology. Astrid then asks Heather if she had a good sleep. Heather replies with a subtle bitchy tone. Astrid gives her a dirty look. She knows what's up.
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| I'm on to you bitch! |
After that riveting exchange, Heather takes an interest in the academy itself. Hiccup explains that it's where they've been training dragons to become apart of their everyday lives. Fishleg's then shows her the Book of Dragons, telling her all their dragon knowledge is in its pages. She asks if she can take a look, but Astrid grabs it out of Fishleg's hands before he does something stupid, like spill the beans on all their dragon secrets to a complete and total stranger. And she drags Hiccup along to explain to him why it's a stupid idea. Hiccup however thinks its fine. Astrid tries to knock some sense into him and tells him she doesn't trust her. Hiccup brushes it off saying he trusts Heather and that Astrid should trust him.
This might be beating a dead horse with a dead horse, but Hiccup, what the fuck?!
Heather then visits each male teen (emphasis on male) and asks them about their dragons. They each explain everything there is to know about their respective dragons. She seems suspiciously more interested on what their offensive capabilities are. The guys however don't suspect anything is fishy, because the only thing they're thinking with is their dicks.
Astrid however doesn't have that kind of problem and she knows better than to tell Heather everything about her dragon. So Heather has to resort to searching for the Book of Dragons in Hiccup's house. She finds it and reads up on the Deadly Nadder. But Astrid catches her with her hands in the cookie jar. Now Hiccup will see her for what she really is!
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| It's Okay Heather. |
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| Astrid, lighten up. |
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| Okay Astrid, that's enough! |
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Hiccup ..................... What....................The........................FUCK!!!!!
So after that, heinous display of, whatever that was, Heather sneaks out the next night and tries to gain Stormfly's trust. She uses what she learned and a chicken wing to gain Stormfly's trust. Astrid catches her once again, and this is where Heather shakes off the little miss innocent act and goes full-on bitch mode! She even rubs it in Astrid's face that Stormfly likes her! OOo, I wanna punch this bitch in the face!
Back at Hiccup's house, Heather is once again searching for the Book of Dragons, but she cant find it. She looks downstairs and sees that Hiccup has it. Which means he wised up and didn't leave it lying around, or he just needed it and would have left it otherwise. Seeing as how stupid he is this episode, I'm guessing the latter. Heather is unsure of what to do now.
In the forest, Astrid is throwing an axe at a tree and talking to herself about how she's gonna bitchslap Heather so hard, her children will inherit the hand marks. Yeah, you go Astrid!
And she might get her chance sooner than she thought, as she sees Heather heading somewhere in the forest. However, Astrid decides to follow her instead. She follows her to the beach where she meets with Alvin's Right Hand Man, Savage.
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| I knew it! |
Savage demands to know what Heather has learned about the Dragons. Heather tells him she's learned a lot, and even better, she tells him about the Book of Dragons. As Astrid listens intently, Savage wants to know where the book is. Heather promises she'll have the book by morning. Astrid accidentally slips some rocks, but manages to hide in time. However Heather suspects someone's watching and head's off. Astrid heads off to warn Hiccup, well this is sure to get his attention this time!
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| Astrid, don't you think it's possible you seen something else? |
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Hiccup......
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WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!
What the fuck is wrong with you! Astrid, one of your best friend's, your girlfriend going by the end of the movie, is telling you that this chick is working with your island's enemies!! And you're honestly going to tell her she just saw something else in defence of this girl you barely even know!!!! You're seriously going to ignore the possibility that Alvin has a spy in your very room?!!
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| Astrid, if there's one thing I know it's this, Heather is not working with the Outcasts! |
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| Well the joke's on you, idiot. |
In the morning, Hiccup is looking for the Book of Dragons. And big shocker, Astrid barges in saying Heather stole her dragon too. Well good job Hiccup.
So the Dragon Riders prepare to give chase to Heather. Fishlegs is panicking, thinking of what could happen if Alvin gets his hands on the book. Hiccup tries to reassure Fishleg's, admitting it was all his fault and that he's a stupid asshole. Actually he doesn't say the last part, he just says, "Heather, I can't believe it".
Oh Fuck you Hiccup.
But the others, especially Astrid, chew him out for being stupid, so it evens out I guess. Off to kill Heather!
Heather is indeed riding Stormfly, but the others catch up and Astrid hops on to Stormfly to give her that bitchslap she was talking about before. But Heather is a lot tougher than she looks and it turns into a prolonged fistfight.
They cross into Outcast waters however, and get fired at by volley's of catapult fire. Astrid manages to knock Heather off Stormfly, but the book falls with her. Snotlout swoops in to save Heather, and Hiccup goes after the book. But the Outcast fire forces him to retreat. The book lands on Outcast Island, the riders retreat, the Outcasts flip them off....
and Hiccup tells the others that Alvin now has the Book of Dragons, and what an idiot he was. Will they get the book back? Find out in part 2!
Summary
Hiccup, what the fuck? What... the... fuck? All I could say this episode was "Hiccup!! Stop thinking with your dick!!!". Hiccup has been so out of character this episode it's not even funny. And this isn't the only episode he's acted like a douchenozzle to somebody he knows in favour of someone he's only just met. In episode 4 with Torch, Hiccup treated Toothless like shit in favour of a baby dragon he just found. But you can at least justify that by saying Hiccup was trying to prevent the situation from getting out of hand, like with a lot of people's pets. But when Astrid warns him about Heather's association with Alvin, there is no excuse. His brushing off of Astrid's warning is completely and totally idiotic, and completely out of character for him.
Aside from that this was a decent episode. Heather makes a pretty good villainous character, and it goes to show how devious Alvin is. And Astrid is great in this episode. There was some good comedy as usual, and Snotlout and the others not suspecting Heather wasn't completely out of the question.
But Hiccup's idiocy in this episode really dragged this episode down, as it was a major plot point. A really stupid, poorly written one at that. Let's hope part 2 is better.
6/10
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