Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 9 - Zippleback Down

In the Dragon Academy, Gobber has a bunch of very large traps set up. He sets one off and appears to have gotten his arm trapped in it. But it's only his hook arm so he was just just goofing around. Gobber explains that all these traps he's got set up are traps for even the toughest sons of bitches among the Dragons and are not to be fucked with. But that's exactly the kind of thing Ruff and Tuff want to do, especially Ruff who plans on throwing Tuffnut into one. Gobber tells them to practice their stupidity on their own time. 

Gobber then asks the teens what the trap he's pointing at is. Ruff and Tuff make some stupid guesses before Fishlegs says it's called the Snapper. Hiccup tells Ruff and Tuff to listen and pay attention and they might learn something. Fishlegs also names the other traps, Ropers, Ravvers, and Netters. Gobber is impressed by Fishlegs' knowledge but he decides to put Fishlegs to a tougher test to seperate the men from the girls; he has to disable one of the traps. But with Astrid's help, Fishlegs disables the trap. Gobber is impressed. 

Hiccup then steps up to disable the Netter trap, but Snotlout thinks he's so awesome that he can disable the trap with a tooth pick and with his eyes closed. Astrid wanders if it's wrong to root for the trap. Hiccup just tells her that it's Snotlout, there's nothing more to be said. So Snotlout attempts to disable the trap. 

Pff, this is so easy! All ya gotta do is jiggle this thingy
here, then pull that Doohicky there, then . . . 

Snotlout calls out to Hookfang for help, Hookfang leaves his ass trapped instead. Gobber asks Hiccup to "release the beast". Astrid doesn't think it's necessary but Hiccup knows that even though it's Snotlout, he has to help him out. Hiccup manages to disable the trap and free Snotlout with ease. Snotlout plummets to the ground and calls Hiccup a lame ass teacher's pet. Hiccup then gets Toothless to blast the Snapper Trap to disable it. Gobber resets the trap and tells the Twins to try and disable it. 

The Twins are too busy having a staring contest however and they tell Gobber they can't. Gobber doesn't give one flying fuck about whatever stupid shit they're doing and tells them they're going to do what he says before he skins them and uses their pelts as doormats. Ruuf and Tuff move towards the trap but they don't break their eye contact, which causes them to set off the trap. The Trap only closes on their helmets however and for the first time we see Ruff and Tuff without their helmets! Which is admittedly kinda strange. 

We then find out what the point of all this trap disabling is; There's still a bunch of traps lying around Berk from the good old Dragon Killing days. Gobber tries to be subtle about the "Dragon Killing" part around the dragons, but his point stands that all those traps need to be found and disabled before some Wild Dragon gets caught in them. I kinda wander why they haven't thought of this before, but oh well, they're dealing with them now. 

Before they go, Hiccup asks the Twins if they know what they're doing. They want to know what kind of question that is? Astrid says it's a necessary one.

Maybe, not, perhaps?

So the Twins basically have no idea what they're doing. Hiccup tries to explain to them that they're clearing Dragon traps an that it could be very dangerous for them and their dragon but they don't get the gist. Hiccup decides to tell them to stay at the academy cause he really can't trust them not to get themselves killed. Ruff and Tuff actually get the gist this time and are actually hurt that Hiccup thinks they're useless. Which isn't what Hiccup actually meant but Astrid guesses that's probably what he was thinking. Ruff and Tuff decide to go disable traps anyway to spite Hiccup. 

The Twins complain to each other how Hiccup doesn't appreciate their Thor-given dragon abilities, right before they forget what they're supposed to be doing, just manage to remember what they're supposed to be doing, call out to the traps they're supposed to find like they're dogs, and Tuffnut gets caught in a Netter. With Tuffnut caught in the trap and helpless, Ruffnut has to go back to the village and get help. But since Barf and Belch need 2 riders and crash from the confusion of having only one, Ruff walks back to the village leaving Barf and Belch with Tuffnut. 

- Need a hand?
- I'm totally not helpless, you know!
- Of course you aren't.

As Ruffnut tries to find her way home, Hiccup and Toothless stumble onto a Snapper Trap. A fish is in the trap, Toothless wants it bad. Hiccup gives the signal and Toothless disables the trap with a blast. A hot wind from the North blows over the almost igniting a spark from Toothless' blast. Hiccup's reacts quick before that tiny insignificant spark potentially dooms them all. Hiccup heads back to the village, cause shit's about to go down. 

Meanwhile, Tuffnut is having a conversation with Barf. He feels sad that he doesn't talk to Barf that much since he rides Belch. But Barf eventually becomes bored with the conversation and goes to sleep. Tuffnut then asks either Barf or Belch is they know how to undo the trap. He then remembers that he's a professional dragon trainer, so he commands Barf and Belch to free him. They use him as a tetherball instead. 

Back at Berk, Hiccup tries to warn Stoick about the fire weather. Stoick already knows about it however and already has the town filling some water buckets. Hiccup wants to know how Stoick already knew, Gobber shows him the dry skin on his cheek that shows it's fire weather. Stoick then asks Hiccup to make sure the Twins don't doom them all. 

Make sure those shitheads don't fuck us all!

Ruffnut is still trying to navigate her way through the forest and gets into an apple fight with Terrible Terrors that she is losing. Tuffnut is still having a conversation with Barf, this time trying to get to the bottom of why Ruff is so competitive. He thinks that perhaps she's a girl in a man's world, I'm not even sure what that implies but what I am sure of is that I don't even want to know. 

Tuffnut then remembers that he's stuck in a trap. He tries to recall how Gobber managed to undo a Netter trap. He reassures himself that he's not useless, then admits to himself that he is indeed useless when he can't recall how to get himself out of the trap. He then realises that he's even more useless than he thought when a big ass Typhoomerang emerges from the forest. 

Barf and Belch defend their Rider against the Typhoomerang. But they're little shits compared to it and get their ass handed to them, even getting caught in another trap. They also set a spark that will surely grow into a larger fire. With Barf and Belch incapacitated, The Typhoomerang stares down Tuffnut. Tuffnut seems to think he knows this dragon.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but you look . . .
familiar somehow.

Tuffnut makes a variety of guesses as to how he knows the dragon and where they might have met; Outcast island, Dragon Island, Breakneck Bog, Dragon Bog and Breakneck Island. After introducing Barf and Belch and getting caught up in a fantasy of Ruffnut being torn apart by packs of boars, Tuffnut and the dragon start connecting by roaring together.  

Back at Berk, Hiccup decides to go after the Twins. He turns down Astrid's help. The Twin's are his responsibility and he's going to make sure they don't kill themselves. But it turns out that Tuffnut, at the very least, actually ain't doing so bad considering he's stuck in a net. He manages to get the Typhoomerang to spin around and open his wings, he's actually training the dragon. You know I haven't thought of this till now but are they finally getting a Twins plot right?

After a little check-in with Ruffnut who's trying to retrace her steps after seeing the big-ass fire in the distance, Hiccup sees that same big-ass fire and heads toward it for as the saying goes, "Where there's fire, there's the Twins". 

Ruffnut manages to make her way back to Tuffnut, she panics when she sees the Typhoomerang. She whispers to Tuffnut that there's a big ass Typhoomerang right next to him. Tuffnut tells her he knows already and asks her why she's whispering. She wants to know why he isn't whispering. Tuffnut shows her what he can get the Typhoomerang to do.

Impressive. Oh by the way, there's a big-ass wildfire
coming your way. Just thought you should know.

Hiccup is scanning the forest for any sign of the Twins. He sees a clearing and finds them, and the big ass Typhoomerang that's standing beside them. Hiccup and Toothless head for the clearing, but Toothless' tail catches on fire. They crash land in the clearing and at he mercy of the Typhoomerang. Hiccup remembers this particular Typhoomerang however. The dragon gives him a dragon version of a bear hug then allows Hiccup to touch his snout. Hiccup recalls who this is in flashback. It turns out this dragon is Torch from The Terrible Twos! I never thought we'd see that little shit again. 

Hiccup tries to explain to Ruff and Tuff that it's Torch, but they can't believe it. Tuffnut recalls that Torch was really small, Hiccup then has to explain to him that Torch just grew up as all biological beings so. Tuffnut still doesn't get it. While this is going on, Torch decides to fuck with Toothless and smacks him around a little. Hiccup can't believe they're doing this again. Well Hiccup I hate to remind you of one of your lesser moments but you were a dick to Toothless that one time and Toothless has a legitimate grievance with Torch. But Hiccup thinks that shit is all in the past and tries to get them to put their rivalry behind so they get out of the shit they're in now. 

The Forest fire is raging on and Hiccup tells ruff to get Tuff out of the trap. But the Twins don't remember what to do 'cause they weren't paying attention, so Hiccup has to free Barf and Belch and free Tuffnut himself. Hiccup however can't disable the trap, so he converts Torch into a dragon aircraft carrier and loads everyone onto it. Torch carries the net Tuffnut's stuck in. 

Having fun down there Tuff?

The group lands in a clearing ahead of the fire. Hiccup hopes to stop the fire before it reaches Berk, but it's too late to stop it now. He tells the Twins to gather some water and put the fire out. The twins think that's idea's a bunch of bullshit. They think they should fight fire with fire! This gives Hiccup a most brilliant idea (and I finally figured out how you fight fire with fire)! 

Hiccup gets Toothless, Barf and Belch and Torch to burn the edge of the forest with everything they've got. When the edge is all good and burnt, he gets them to flap their wings to put the fire out. Torch then puts the fire out for good in a very impressive little bit of animation. 

With the forest fire dealt with, the group heads back to Berk. The others can't believe their eyes when they see the Typhoomerang carrying all of them. Fishlegs voices his awe, Hiccup explains to him that it ain't no ordinary and Fishlegs immediately recognises Torch. Astrid can hardly believe it either, Snotlout is only worried that Torch brought along the family as well. Tuffnut tells them he found Torch and even managed to train him. Snotlout refuses to believe it since Tuffnut couldn't even get himself out of that net. Tuffnut gets Torch to smack Snotlout around. But when Torch hears the call of the wild, he says goodbye to everyone and takes off. Ruff and Tuff have to get themselves out of the netter trap. 

Summary

Folks, let's give the writers a round of applause, they actually got a Twins plot right!

For the first time they actually didn't screw up a Twins plot. They showed an awful lot of self awareness in this episode and the plot involving Tuffnut training Torch was actually pretty entertaining. Oh and the return of Torch was also a really big bonus. That flashback to The Terrible Twos was actually really heart-warming. 

I'm not sure what else to say about the episode really, they just finally did a Twins plot right. Not one of the best episode but still a pretty good one. 

8/10

Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 8 - Appetite For Destruction

Out in the middle of the ocean, a couple of flamboyant looking Nadders are chillaxing on a rock. Until one of them gets pelted with what appears to be yellow paint, scaring the shit out of them and causing them to haul ass outta there. It turns out Hiccup and Astrid are the ones throwing the paint, Hiccup says that these Nadders have to be tagged Yellow. Yellow tags mean they're from Sorrow Island. Astrid manages to tag the other Nadder before they escape. 

She continues chasing down more Nadder's and pelting them with paint sacks. She decides to be cheeky with Hiccup and tell him he's free to join in anytime. After Astrid misses what I think is the same punk ass Nadder from The Night And The Fury, Hiccup takes Astrid's invitation to pelt some bitches with paint. He chases down the punk-ass Nadder and outclasses Astrid's Pelting skills.

Taste the paint motherfucker!

Hiccup pelts the punk ass Nadder. Astrid admits that his ornate shield is pretty cool, Hiccup says he quite likes it himself (who wouldn't?). Hiccup then decides he's going to check on the Twins to see if they aren't fucking everything up. But this is the Twins we're talking about here, they're bound to fuck something up. 

And they do just that. They're supposed to be tagging with purple paint, but when Tuffnut hits Ruff by accident and refuses to apologise they get into a paint fight wasting many sacks that were supposed to be for Dragons. Hiccup  scolds them for being stupid once again, but they use some flawed logic on him once again. They say it's Hiccup's fault for trusting them with the task of tagging dragons with purple paint. Actually I take that back, that's a very sound argument. They seem to be pros at that lately, nice to see they're self-aware. 

During this, Astrid barges in and asks Hiccup if it's supposed to be one colour per Island. Hiccup confirms that it is indeed supposed to be one colour per Island. Astrid then points to two Gronckle's nearby with green and purple paint. Hiccup's confused, so he decides to send a letter to Fishlegs whose idea this all was. He does this by using 'air mail', tying the note to a Terrible Terror and sending them to wherever they need to go. Kinda like raven mail from Game Of Thrones. BTW, nice to see the Terrors from the last episode haven't been glossed over, well not completely at least. Astrid thinks this idea won't work and bets Hiccup that it'll be a total failure. The stakes being Astrid has to kiss Snotlout on the lips if it does work. 

Holy shit, it actually worked!

Yo, what was that, dawg?

Don't you even . . . .

Alright, how much are you willing to bet that your skin'll
make a nice winter coat?

Fishlegs is ecstatic that the air mail idea actually worked, then he asks Hiccup what the need for it was. Hiccup asks him about the green dragons on Crescent Island. Snotlout then calls him a dick for ruining his beauty sleep for shit so trivial, at least in his view. Hiccup and Fishlegs know that this is a pretty big deal however and are looking to investigate further. The green dragons are supposed to be from Tall Tree Island but they're on Crescent Island instead. To find out the reason for this they head out for Tall Tree island, with Snotlout ditching them along the way. So an added bonus. 

But as they're trying to find the island, all they're finding is more and more ocean. Astrid thinks they're going off course, Fishlegs tells her she don't know shit. Fishlegs doesn't go off course, but when he looks at the map for reference, the Island is nowhere to be seen. Then out of nowhere some Orange dragons appear to be fleeing. Hiccup mentions they're from Sunstone Island, Fishlegs mentions that it has pristine beaches and tons of rocks lying around for Meatlug to get fat on. 

Pristine beaches you said?

Fishlegs notes that one Island is missing and another has been literally sunk. The teens discuss what this could mean and what effects this will have on the Dragon populations of these Islands. They decide to head back to Dragon Island, which they debate whether or not it'll be there at all when they get back. As they leave, a giant shadow follows them. I believe the culprit has been revealed. 

Back at Dragon Island there's a lot of Dragons that are from other Islands that are showing up. Astrid begins to notice Red dragons now. Hiccup thinks that more Islands are bound to disappear along a line he draws on the map. He decides to go and investigate the Islands he thinks are next on the chopping block.  Astrid decides to go with him, on the hunch that islands disappearing and Dragons fleeing can't lead to anything good. 

After leaving Fishlegs on Dragons Island, Hiccup and Astrid find Boarhead island completely sunk and Thor's Rock mostly sunk. Astrid think's Fishlegs wrath of gods theory a lot more credible now. Hiccup decides to get a closer look, where they discover a giant hole in the middle of the rocks. He notices that it's awfully familiar looking, only bigger. 

I'm back bitches!!

So it appears that the Scream Death has been tunnelling beneath all those Islands and sinking them after Hiccup spells it out for us. Hiccup decides to get a closer look and thinks he can make friends with it. But the Screaming Death is in no mood for that hippy crap. It chases Hiccup and Toothless around, until Astrid pelts its eyes with paint. Being blinded, it decides to fly away, but it'll be back. 

Hiccup and Astrid take the news back to Fishlegs on Dragon Island. Fishlegs is afraid to know how big it is, Astrid tells him it's Chop Chop there's go your island big. This does nothing to help his bladder control. Hiccup confirms his theory about the imaginary line, the Screaming Death is following it and destroying any Island in its path. He thinks the Screaming Death is going to sink Dragon Island then move to sink Berk. Damn, this situation just got dire. 

Fishlegs suggests running back to Berk with their tails between their legs. Hiccup however ain't retreating, Dragon island is the only land between Berk and the Screaming Death. They have to make their stand at Dragon island. And besides, where are all those wild dragons going to go if Dragon island sinks? So Hiccup sends Sharpshot to Berk to gather some reinforcements. Which is just supposed to be Snotlout and the Twins. Uh hello? Stoick and Thornado? The other villagers with dragons that have already been established? No? Why? Budget Constraints? Fine, I'll go with that I suppose. So Sharpshot finds the Twins but they're creeped out by him. 

- Why is that Terror staring us down?
- We'll run for it on three.

Oh those lovable exceptional individuals. 

Back on Dragon Island, Hiccup thinks help isn't coming. So he decides to fight the Screaming Death with what they got, which isn't much. Fishlegs reports that the only Island left between Dragons Island and the Screaming Death is gone and the Screaming Death is moving on Dragon Island. Hiccup decides to go distract the SD to buy Astrid and Fishlegs time.

Back at Berk, Ruff and Tuff are pretending to be a statue to trick the Terrible Terror. Snotlout tells them they're stupid and asks them why they're being so stupid. They tell him that a Terrible Terror is behind him. Snotlout sees it and knows right away that its air mail. The Twins call themselves stupid. 

While that's going on, The Screaming Death is speeding it's way to Dragon island. Hiccup blasts its face then tries the follow the leader/shiny shield trick again. He thinks it works, but the Screaming Death has learned a lot since their last encounter. It knows Hiccup is a sleazy little weasel and it ain't stopping its rampage for shit. Hiccup thinks the situation just got a little trickier. 

Astrid can't see Hiccup and thinks that stupid air mail crap didn't work. Fishlegs reassures her that it'll work. He says because dragons are very . . . territorial as Astrid finsihes for him. Fishlegs then gets an idea and makes a really awkward comment that he could kiss her on the lips. This is supposed to tie in to the joke from before, the the "on the lips" part was completely unnecessary and just awkward. Anyway, Fishlegs tells Astrid to help Hiccup out but she asks what he's doing. 

Unleashing hell. 

Astrid helps out Hiccup, whose in quite a tight spot. Just as this fight starts to look hopeless, Fishlegs brings an army of wild dragons to help kick the SD's ass. The SD decides it's had enough of this shit and burrows into the Island to sink it. Hiccup heads in to force its ass back to the surface. But it turns out to be an ambush as the SD bursts it's machine gun fire breath at him. After e really cool effect where the SD emerges face first from a firestorm, the SD is brought back to the surface to get its ass handed to it by the Wilds Dragons and Berkian reinforcements. 

The battle is not over though, as the island is still sinking. But Fishlegs thinks quick on his feet and gathers the Gronckles to shoot their lava into the tunnels and stop the island from sinking. Hiccup declares Fishlegs and Meatlug the heroes of the day. 

Back at Berk, Hiccup finds some more information of the Screaming Death and he thinks that it'll most definitely be back. Dramatic music plays over a silhouette of the open ocean for dramatic effect. 

Summary

This is probably the shortest review I've written. This episode was mostly just great action and the Screaming Death being awesome. And the situation was actually very dire. This is one of those times in the series where it looked like the characters were in some real trouble and they knew it too. The only other time was in The Night And The Fury. 

While the action was great and the Screaming Death was awesome, there was a lot more unnecessary expository then usual and there was that awkward joke with kissing Astrid on the lips and he way Fishlegs delivered that one line. And also the fact there is so many Berkians like Stoick who have dragons that could have helped out with the Screaming Death. But since it's probably due to budget constraints, I'll let this one slide.

The episode was good and the tagging dragons subplot was interesting, but I would say it's not one of the strongest episodes. 

7/10 

Hybrid Animals: Freaks Of Nature

Hybrid Animals are quite fascinating freaks of nature, for a number of reasons ranging from their simple coolness factor, to their biological and evolutionary implications, to whether it's right to be breeding them at all.

Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 7 - Worst In Show

In the caves below Berk, a low-angle shot (or whatever kind of shot only reveals a character below the waist) shows three persons walking through the cave. One of them steps on an eggshell. Alvin picks up the shell, Savage and Mildew are with him. He chews Mildew out for his plan being a complete and total failure, I however wouldn't call The Screaming Death a failure of the plan. Though chances are, they probably don't know about the Screaming Death. In any case, Alvin wanted Berk completely destroyed and run into the ground, Mildew failed to deliver the goods and will now suffer a flaying for it. 

Mildew is in deep shit unless he can pull something out of his ass, and quick. He makes some analogy's between life and rotten fishheads and chowder, then he points Alvin in the direction of the Berk Dragon Training Academy. Alvin isn't quite sure what the point is, but Mildew tells him there's all kinds of shenanigans he could do that he can't believe Alvin hasn't thought of himself. Kidnapping, spying, peeping, raiding the girl's drawers, perhaps a little dragon killing to top it all off. Alvin suggests doing all the above and decides not to flay Mildew today. 

- I hate it when he's all ambiguous like that.
- Trust me, it's better than when he's not ambiguous.
- Thank you, Captain Obvious.

On the surface of the ocean, we see a small boat floating in the water. The camera pans up revealing a dummy in the boat. Fishlegs is by a sun needle, he waves his hand. Snotlout and Hookfang fly to the boat, Snotlout grabs the dummy out of the boat. Snotlout brags about how awesome he is and Hiccup, rather than being disgusted by Snotlout's repugnance, is impressed that Snotlout appears to have actually worked on his Rescue Training. At least until Hookfang dives beneath the waves which would have surely drowned the victim then flies along the cliff edge with the dummy's head scraping the edge, which would have caused some serious damage to a real person, and then when Hookfang just burns the dummy to ash. Astrid decides not to set her already very low expectations any higher. 

Astrid then performs a pretty cool drill where Stormfly shoots her spines into the cliff's edge allowing Astrid to climb up them like a ladder. Hiccup is impressed, Snotlout thinks he's whipped and thinks Astrid's drill was lame and pointless. He points out that she has a dragon that can get her to the top in 2 seconds. He does have a point, at least until Astrid points out the possibility of a person being stuck on the edge of a cliff and the Dragon being unab;e to get close enough to perform aforementioned task. Snotlout admits defeat, but I still think he has a point on this one, though it doesn't degrade Astrid's cool drill. 

Hiccup then calls for Fishlegs to perform his drill. Fishlegs acends into the air until he's a long distance away from the ground. Then he gives Meatlug a command, she falls toward the ground and a Snotlout praying for his miserable life. Just before Meatlug can crush a vile, evil corruption with 1 tonne of mass travelling at a hundred miles an hour, she stops. Fishlegs calls it stop, drop, and hover. Hiccup is once again impressed, Snotlout points out that isn't rescuing, that's falling. Once again he has a point. At least until Fishlegs decides to show him real falling. 

I feel like Thor has dropped a 1,000 pound shit on me!

Snotlout calls for Hookfang to attempt a rescue. Hookfang flies away instead. Hiccup then asks the Twins to show their rescue tactic. But their tactic just involves staring at nothing like a couple of retards. They describe as not falling off the seastack so there's no rescue necessary, right before Ruffnut accidentally knocks Tuffnut off their Dragon sending him screaming and plummeting into the watery depths below. She describes that as working out the kinks. Hiccup facepalms his face until he can't feel it anymore. 

It's now Hiccup's turn to show his rescue tactic. He has three Outcast targets set up on the cliffs. With tremendous speed and efficiency, Toothless takes out all three targets consecutively. The others, except Snotlout of course, are all "Ooh Ahh Ooh"ing.  Snotlout tells them to cut that shit out, he points out that wasn't even a rescue tactic. Yet again he has a point, at least until Fishlegs points out that a rescue mission could require taking some motherfuckers out. He tells Hiccup that was very impressive, Snotlout then tells Fishlegs to get his nose out of Hiccup's ass. Hiccup cuts him off before the last word though, the children's fragile little minds must be protected. 

Fishlegs tells Hiccup that he can deal with Snotlout himself and mocks Snotlout for coming last in the Rescue training competition. Hiccup only notices the competition part of Fishlegs' comment. he says this rescue training wasn't a competition. Ruffnut however points out that it is a competition, she also says that the essence of life is competition. Ruffnut unintentionally said something profound, and it's a sentiment Astrid agrees with. Hiccup however thinks otherwise, he explains that they're a team. They all have a role to play and no one is better than the rest of them. 

. . . . .

Ha Ha Ha, that's so gay Hiccup, Ha Ha Ha!

The others think Hiccup's idea is pitifully laughable. Snotlout asks him if he really stands by those totally gay words of his. Hiccup does indeed stand by those belief's, what he can't believe is that the others seem to be of the same mind as Snotlout on this issue. Fishlegs points out that Hiccup rides Toothless, a Night Fury. The Night Fury is at the top of the list for everything, speed, accuracy, intelligence, promiscuity, everything! It's basically Fishlegs subtlety telling Hiccup, "Easy for you to say all that gay crap when you've got the best dragon, asshole". 

Snotlout wants to voice his opinion, but is shot down by the others. But he continues regardless, as long as each teen has different dragons of different quality, they don't have a level playing field. And . . . he's got a point again! Damn, Snotlout for once is the voice of logic in this episode. And he's absolutely right. Think back to the Thawfest episode, how differently could that have gone if all the teens used Thunderdrums or Whispering Death's? It would have gone very differently. Fishlegs agrees with Snotlout and decides to make this a competition to see whose the best dragon trainer. Snotlout is all for it, well that and kicking Fishlegs ass in the competition. 

So Fishlegs decides to level the playing field by giving each of the teens their very own Terrible Terrors to train, and they've only got a day to train them and see who's the best dragon trainer. Snotlout laughs his off ass, Fishlegs is confused. Snotlout makes it clear that Fishlegs is going to lose because he's a reader and Snotlout's a doer. While Fishlegs is stuck in the Book of Dragons, Snotlout is out kicking names and taking butts. 

Ricky approves.

Hiccup tries to stop this from being a huge competition, but Fishlegs is dead set on making this a competition, simply to kick Snotlout's ass and put him in his place. I won't say this isn't a illegitimate reason, because this is Snotlout we're talking about. Fishlegs even decides to make the "competition" more interesting by imposing the term that the loser has to clean the winners stall for a month. Snotlout and the others agree to that term and Hiccup can't believe they're really doing this. Snotlout tells the others he's going to totally win and reaches for one of the Terrors. The purple one bites him, Snotlout decides he might as well have that one. His prospects of winning are not promising so far. The others claim their Terrors and Hiccup makes one last attempt to remind them that this isn't a competition. He still predicts this not ending well. 

Back in the caves, the Three Fucksketeers are up to some shenanigans. Savage is perched on Mildew's shoulders looking out across the surface. Yak testicles are blocking his view however, at least until the Yaks move and Savage tells Alvin it's just another Yak farm. Alvin asks Mildew what the hell is with all the god damned Yak farms? Mildew has no idea, he's a sheep person. We know you are, you sick fuck. Savage then finds the Academy, saying there's a sign with a dragon on it and there's also kids training dragons inside. Mildew confirms Savage's discovery, but Alvin tells him to calm his tits. Alvin don't celebrate until he's killed some motherfuckers first.  

At the Ingerman residence (yeah, Fishlegs' last name is Ingerman, I looked it up so I know), Fishlegs is training his Terrible Terror. First step is to give it a name, but like me, Fishlegs sucks at names. While he's trying to figure out a badass name for his Terror, Meatlug comes in with a sheep in her mouth. She wants to play with Fishlegs. 

Sorry girl, I can't play "abuse the sheep" right now.

Oh boy, Fishlegs has been corrupted. Snotlout's repugnant arrogance and douchebaggery has driven Fishlegs to lose all perspective of what's really important and only want to do nothing but humiliate Snotlout, just like Hiccup before him. And better yet, now Fishlegs is neglecting Meatlug in the process! Snotlout truly is a vile, evil corruption of obnoxious repugnance. 

So Fishlegs refuses to play with Meatlug because he's too busy trying to humiliate Snotlout, Meatlug goes into the corner in a depressed state. Hiccup comes in to try and talk some sense into Fishlegs, Hiccup's been there with the all consuming obsession to kick Snotlout's ass and put him in his place. He's learned the lesson, a lesson Fishlegs actually helped him learn! Now Hiccup has to make sure Fishlegs doesn't lose perspective of the bigger picture, but Fishlegs too far gone on that front. He even blows off Hiccup's concern about Meatlug, Toothless is the one who has to try and comfort Meatlug. Toothless is so fucking awesome. 

The next day, the teens are all gathered in the arena with their Terrors, Meatlug comes in still wanting to play with Fishlegs. But Fishlegs is too busy gawking over his Terror, that he calls Iggy, and sticking it to Snotlout so he shrugs her off. Snotlout is there and antagonises Fishlegs, Fishlegs just tells him to go first then they argue about who goes first. 

I don't give a rat's shitty ass whether you're first or fifth!
You're going to end this last and with my foot up your ass,
bitch!

Astrid and the others are taken off guard by this new confrontational Fishlegs. Tuffnut comments that Fishlegs has finally grown some balls, but Hiccup cuts him off before he says balls. The children must be protected from such filth, so says braindead conservatives and pussy liberals! Bullshit I say! They need to be exposed to it at their fragile young ages, so they can grow up to be swearing, cynical, hateful sailors and sinners! Just like me. 

Anyway, Hiccup once again tries to defuse the situation by going first and once again reminding them is isn't a god damn competition. Snotlout's all like, "Yeah, keep selling that gay liberal hippy crap, loser!". Man, it's very hard right now to keep to Hiccup's point of view on this, Snotlout sure doesn't make it easy. And to think they tried to make him redeemable and likeable not even two episodes ago! There is no redeeming vile corruption. 

So Hiccup and his Terror, Sharpshot he calls him, start off with target practice. Toothless throws three wooden ducks into the air and Sharpshot destroys them all in quick succession. Astrid thinks he's being cheeky, starting off the competition with a bang and all. Hiccup has to remind her for the 500 billionth time that it's not a competition. 

Not yet it's not, not until I have Snotlout licking my boots
begging for mercy.

Astrid is up next, but she just stands there and asks them what they think. The others are incredibly confused, is she asking them what they think of her pose? She asks them what they think of her Terror's stealth skills. Snotlout says it's Stealth Skills are so stupid it didn't even show up. Right before it appears on his head out of nowhere. Tuffnut thinks he's pretty good, Ruffnut asks who's good? Right before she looks up and sees Astrid's Terror on her head. The Twins are pretty impressed, but they say he can't do what their Terrors, Butt and Head (awesome names BTW), can do. Astrid mockingly guesses that they're just going to run into each other, but they actually flew into each other so she was a little off. 

Alvin, Mildew and Savage peek into the arena, Alvin's all like,"What the fuck is this shit?". Fishlegs is up, presenting Iggy and calling him the smartest little dragon in the Archipelago (on a completely unrelated side note, I've finally figured out how to pronounce Archipelago from this episode, thank you Defenders Of Berk), Meatlug collapses from the neglect. 

Fishlegs shows off what his Terror can do. He has a row of different kinds of shit, an apple, a sword, a bucket, etc. He has a picture of each of the items, he shows a picture of the apple to Iggy. Iggy retrieves the apple and brings it back to Fishlegs. Alvin is quite impressed, but Snotlout tries to downplay Iggy's abilities by claiming it was just a lucky guess. Fishlegs asks Snotlout to try it if he thinks that's the case. Snotlout shows Iggy a picture of the bucket, Iggy retrieves the bucket and drops it on Snotlout's face. 

Snotlout still thinks it's not impressive at all and tries to downplay it. Snotlout appears to be in denial at this point. Fishlegs is unphased, he tells Snotlout to show them what his Terror can do. 

GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Fishlegs laughs at Snotlout for that very unimpressive display. Snotlout tries desperately to beef up his "accomplishment" by daring Fishlegs to pry it off, it took a whole day for Gobber to pry it off his other leg. Fishlegs tells Hiccup to declare him the winner, this starts a heated argument between the teens over who was the winner of the competition. 

While the teens are having their stupid arguement, Meatlug catches the whiff of a traitorous swine and his peeping pals. She follows the stench, Alvin and Mildew hide behind a pile of rocks. Meatlug just blasts the rocks away and finds them, Alvin refuses to retreat at Mildew's suggestion. So Mildew and Savage ditch him and tell him he'll have to explain to Stoick what he's doing on Berk. Seeing the sense in that, Alvin decides to ditch as well. Only he has Meatlug hot on his trail, but he rectifies that by punching the shit out her face and muzzling her. 

The teens hear the commotion, Fishlegs notices Meatlug's absence and rushes to find her with Toothless leading. They find Alvin and Savage slowly trying to drag Meatlug to the caves. Toothless fires at them while they comically try to move Meatlug's fat ass at a snail's pace. 

- MOVE FASTER DAMMIT!!
- This dragon weighs a fucking ton!
So don't tell me to move faster!

But they do manage to get Meatlug into the tunnels and escape. Toothless accidentally blows up the entrance into the tunnel, blocking it with a shit ton of rocks. The Dragons try to open it with all they've got, but it only makes it worse. Fishlegs is worried since those tunnels could lead anywhere around the Island. Tuffnut corrects him however, he says that they lead to 6 yak farms, 2 sheep pens, Mildew's cabbage farm, and Gobber's outhouse. The others give them a look of utter contempt for not mentioning that vital information before they wasted their time on this one entrance. 

Hiccup tells the others to cover all those places in case Alvin pops up at one of them. Tuffnut calls dibs on the beach, the beach he didn't mention before. Hiccup has had just about enough of this shit with the Twins not mentioning vital information before they waste their time and is ready to decapitate them. But he controls himself and sends the teens to the secluded beach. 

On the way, Fishlegs is in a state of self-hatred and loathing for neglecting Meatlug in favour of sticking it to Snotlout. Snotlout says that's just what happens when you try to beat Snotlout. Couldn't agree more Snotlout. Hiccup tries to reassure Fishlegs, but Tuffnut points out that Alvin's ship is straight ahead. The Riders and Outcasts duke it out, but when Alvin threatens to run Meatlug through they retreat. Fishlegs is distressed. 

Don't worry, we still have a few aces up our sleeves.

What the fuck? 

Who's the best dragon trainer now bitches!

Ahh! My face!

With Meatlug free and reunited with Fishlegs, Hiccup moves in and sinks Alvin's ship, leaving the villainous trio floating on the ocean surrounded by sharks. 

Back at Berk, Fishlegs is making up for his neglect of Meatlug. Hiccup offers him a chance to train with the Terrors again, but he refuses. He's learned his lesson and prefers to give Meatlug attention. 

Summary

I really do love episodes like this where Snotlout is such a complete assmonkey that everyone around him loses perspective to put him in his place. Since they're the easiest episodes to make jokes about and it's so entertaining to see our most morally righteous characters being inflicted with what I call "Obsessive Snotlout Disorder", OSD for short. When Snotlout's repugnance is at such a high level that his most harassed victim loses all morals, conscience and perspective for the sake of putting him in his proper place. This is kind of a repeat of the Thawfest episode only with Fishlegs instead of Hiccup, but's there's plenty of new stuff like the Terrible Terror level playing field to make it feel fresh and that did address a small problem I had with the Thawfest episode. 

Alvin, Mildew and Savage were a pretty awesome Angry Old Men trio in the episode, and how the teens used their terrors to defeat them in the end was awesome. Even Snotlout's unimpressive accomplishment turned out useful in the end. 

9/10

Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 6 - Fright Of Passge

Has there ever been an Astrid themed episode in this series yet? I don't ever recall there ever being one. The other teens got at least one, but never Astrid. Well, the creators finally decided to give Astrid her own episode, as well as a frightening new dragon to top it all off. 

It is night at Berk, with what appears to be the Northern Lights or something Lights, lighting up the black sky. Villagers are panicking, screaming the Flightmare is here. A couple of villagers blow a horn and come face-to-face with the creature, only they can't see it's face as its blinding light hides it quite well. One of the villagers tells the other not to look at it, not that he ever planned to in the first place. 

As the villagers scramble and panic, we see a younger version of Astrid holding an axe. This is obviously a flashback to some unknown number of years ago. As the rest of the village runs away with their tails between their legs, Astrid is fired up for a fight. She's clearly in over her head. Her uncle Finn stops her before she does something stupid, telling her that this isn't a battle for her, not yet at least. Wait a minute, Astrid has an uncle? Does she even have a mom or dad hanging around anywhere? Of all the teens, Astrid is the one who seems to have no family even mentioned once. We've broke some new ground here folks!

So anyway, Astrid's uncle Finn decides to face the Flightmare in single combat, like a boss! He's all like "Here I am you scaly flamboyant bastard! Come and get me if you ain't too much of a pussy!". The Flightmare shows up to carve his ass up. Finn stands his ground, but then he suddenly freezes up when he stares at the Flightmare for too long. 

Oh lord, what was I thinking?!

With "Fearless" Finn out of the way, The Flightmare proceeds to fuck some shit up and send the villagers into their houses, pissing themselves all the way. When it decides its bored of breaking shit, it takes off. The villagers are shocked that Fearless Finn wasn't so Fearless tonight and get into a heated argument over its implications. Astrid looks pissed, she lifts the axe. . . to do something. The Flightmare's gone, so I'm not so sure what she's gonna do exactly. But Gobber, who doesn't look any different than he did in the present, stops her anyway. He tells her that she's gonna need a hell of a lot more than an axe to do what she wants to do. Astrid looks to the sky an screams. 

We then cut to the present as an axe is lobbed into a barrel with a target. Astrid pulls the axe out and destroys the next barrel she sees. She asks who's next, Hiccup mockingly tells her that she got and destroyed them all. Astrid has been destroying inanimate objects all day, since the Fightmare is supposed to be showing up very soon. Snotlout jokes that Astrid is wasting her time, cuz when the Flightmare shows up the Hofferson's always freeze. 

Open your whore mouth again and the next one's
going into your head!

Hiccup tries to defuse the situation before Astrid turns Snotlout into a eunuch and tells Astrid that just because Arvendole's Fire (what I assume is what the Vikings call The Northern Lights or the Whatever Lights those are) will be lighting the sky, that doesn't mean the Flightmare will show up as well. But Fishlegs only makes the situation worse by confirming that the Flightmare is bound to show up. Astrid asks Hiccup "You were saying?", and Hiccup tells Fishlegs that his extensive knowledge of the Flightmare was very timely. 

Fishlegs doesn't get Hiccup's subtle "Shut the fuck up!", so he continues to tell the worst facts he could possibly tell about the Flightmare, including one about the dragon making its prey freeze. Snotlout uses this once again to mock Astrid's uncle and family, which in turn prompts Astrid to kick the everlasting shit out of him. Her family's honour has been destroyed by the Flightmare and Astrid's got enough on her plate without Snotlout rubbing more salt in the wound. But it's the Twins who rub more salt by barging in and telling everyone that the whole village is talking about the Flightmare and Astrid's uncle. Astrid decides she's had quite enough of these constant reminders from every asshole around her and takes off on Stormfly. 

Hiccup and Toothless find her outside Gobber's shop suiting Stormfly up for a Flightmare hunt. She's going to find the Flightmare and clean the stain from her family's name. She tells Hiccup that he ain't stopping her, but Hiccup never said anything about stopping her. Astrid gives him a funny look and heads off. Hiccup admits that he is there to stop her and tells her that he needs her and Stormfly there to protect the village. Astrid thinks she can shove her foot up the Flightmare's ass before it even gets to Berk, no protecting required. She tries to convince Hiccup to come with her after it, since Hiccup's probably been thinking about chasing it and training it. Hiccup tells Astrid that dragons aren't the only things he thinks about. Astrid asks Hiccup if he really just told her that with a straight face. 

Uh. . . yes?
Boy, this got awkward fast.

After that thought-provoking exchange, Fishlegs comes to tell Hiccup that he's completed the research Hiccup asked him to do. Hiccup once again tries to get Fishlegs to shut up but Fishlegs goes on to explain that he's found the Flightmare's flight path. Hiccup says that Astrid doesn't want to talk or hear of the Flightmare, but she actually does. Fishlegs explains that in order to get close to the Flightmare, you have to be stealthy, be as black as the night, and fuck it from behind with unrelenting fury. Astrid immediately thinks of Toothless. She hops on him and asks when they leave. 

Night comes, along with Arvendole's Fire. Gobber rings the bell for everyone to shit themselves and run! Gobber spots Snotlout and Hookfang just walking around casually and tells them to get their asses locked in a safe place. Snotlout refuses to, if the Flightmare is going to kill them all the last face he wants to see is Hookfang's. Hookfang is totally done with the soft Snotlout from the last episode though and playfully, or spitefully, tries to bite him. 

Snotlout then hears some random villagers behind him talking about some kind of emergency bunker. Gobber tells him that the Twins created some kind of Emergency Bunker, but it's been booked up for months now. Snotlout ain't one for stupid ass bookings though, so he's just going to force his way in. 

So the Twins are at their Emergency Bunker, which is just the cages at the Academy. As Ruff and Tuff are trying to come up with a confirmatory signal for those admitted that involves punching the shit out of each other, Snotlout walks in with Hookfang. Tuffnut stops him, Snotlout isn't on their list so he ain't allowed in the club. Barf and Belch act as their official bouncer. 

Looks like somebody's a little lost. 

Tuffnut tells Snotlout if he wants to get in, he needs to find a bunch of shit for them. Snotlout can't believe this bullshit, and neither can I. I ain't digging this subplot, so let's move on to the main plot. 

Hiccup and Astrid are trying to find the Flightmare, but Hiccup wants to be sure Astrid won't do anything stupid like try to fight it. They're there to observe and redirect the Flightmare and if all else fails they run back to town with their tails between their legs. Astrid gives a disinterested reassurance. Hiccup notices the disinterest and tells her to repeat herself only more meaningful like this time. Astrid's all like "Yeah sure, I understand Hiccup, whatever! Let's find that flamboyant bastard!". Hiccup does not feel confident that Astrid won't do something stupid. 

They continue on towards the Northern Swamp, and there they find the Flightmare. It's lights shine so bright that it even manages to temporarily blind Toothless. Hiccup observes that it certainly lives up to the hype. Astrid thinks this observing shit is gay, so she jumps off Toothless and draws her axe. Hiccup tries to tell Astrid this is a stupid idea but nothing will sway Astrid from reclaiming her families honour. She makes an admittedly lame badass speech to the Flightmare, who proceeds to shoot some kind of liquid shit that freezes Astrid solid. 

What was I thinking?!

With Astrid frozen in place and completely helpless, the Flightmare moves in for the kill. Hiccup gets to her first and gets her on Toothless. The Flightmare chases them but loses them in the clouds. The Flightmare admits defeat but screams that it'll be back. 

Hiccup tries to wake up Astrid and discovers that the effects of that shit the Flightmare sprayed are only temporary. He concludes that the Flightmare paralyses its prey and that Astrid's uncle wasn't some coward who froze from sheer terror. Astrid is now the one who's asking if they're going to run back to town. Hiccup says they're following the Flightmare. They do just that, all the way to some shiny river. Interesting. 

Back at Berk, Snotlout tries to get in the bunker with two Rainbow colored chickens but the Twins say he has to get more shit blah blah blah who cares? 

Fishlegs is at his house looking at a map, obsessively trying to figure out why the Flightmare always follows the same route every time it comes to Berk. It always follows the Northern stream to the village, why go along that same route every time? Why doesn't it approach from the South? Or over the hills, the forest, the mountains?!  Why does it consider the river to be the best route into town? Surely it would eventually try a new route, but no! It's always that same god damned route! What's the thought-process? What's going through that dragon's mind when it follows that river into the town? Why is Meatlug eating during such a time of mystery and intrigue?!

Dammit Meatlug! How could you be stuffing your
face in a time like this?!

Because it's the answer to your stupid question staring
you in the face! Idiot.

Fishlegs realises what Meatlug is trying to tell him and concludes that the Flightmare must be following. . .  

Hiccup finishes the sentence mid-cut with glowing algae. He and Astrid are still following the glowing river. They land and Hiccup comes to the same conclusion that Fishlegs has come to. The algae is shining as a reaction to Arvendole's Fire and that's why the Flightmare follows the river. Astrid is a bit confused, but Hiccup makes a comparison to getting in between Snotlout and mutton. The Flightmare thinks of them as a threat to its source of food and its very survival, just like Snotlout with the mutton.

The Flightmare sets down beside the river, forcing Hiccup and Astrid to hide. As it eats the algae, it glows brighter. It notices Hiccup and Astrid and is thrown into a jealous rage. Hiccup does some more unnecessary spelling out that they need to go get Toothless and hide. Astrid points out that that won't be happening anytime soon. 

What is happening to me?!!

Toothless has been eating the algae and now he's glowing, which looks pretty cool but does absolutely dick all to help their situation. Hiccup and Astrid get on Toothless and take to the air to hide in the clouds. They think they're well hidden in the clouds, only they forgot that Toothless is now a giant glowing night light. The Flightmare tracks them through the clouds and blinds Toothless with his light causing him to crash. Grounded, Toothless and the Flightmare get into a heated scrap. 

As Toothless and the Flightmare duke it out, Astrid throws some shit at it. Toothless and Hiccup retrieve her before she gets sprayed again and they hide in a nearby cave. The Flightmare loses them and with Toothless' cool ass glow unfortunately fading away, they follow behind the Flightmare undetected. Fishlegs surprises the shit out of them, bringing Stormfly with him. Hiccup wants to know why Fishlegs left town when the academy had to be locked down. Fishlegs came because he thinks he's found a way to stop the Flightmare once and for all. By redirecting the river with the algae into the sea. Which is an idea I find really questionable. I mean, they live on an Island and they're really going to redirect that fresh water into the sea? Why not just redirect it into the middle of the Island? 

But I guess fresh water on an Island in the middle of the ocean is really that expendable and the trio starts to build a new stream leading into the sea. Hiccup and Toothless build the stream while Fishlegs dams the river. The Flightmare knows they're up to some shenanigans and sprays the shit out of Fishlegs, paralysing him. Astrid faces down the Flightmare in single combat, but it manages to smack her off Stormfly. The teens retreat, leaving the Flightmare to guard the river. Astrid has an idea on how to defeat it. The dragons eat some algae and use their blinding light on the Flightmare. 

Feast your eyes on this bitch!

Ow, it's so bright!!

Using the Flightmare's own trick against it, the teens blind it while Hiccup finishes off the channel. With the river and the algae flowing into the sea, the Flightmare decides it's had enough of fucking around with the teens and chases after its food supply. The day is won and they may never see the Flightmare again. Only they may have drained off the only fresh water sources on the Island to do it, but they consider it a success and head home. 

Gobber is sleeping beside a catapult ready to fire at a moment's notice. Stoick notices some rather conspicuous bio-luminescent objects in the sky. He wakes Gobber up, Gobber accidentally fire the catapult into a barn and sounds the alarm. But the teens show up with their Dragons glowing. Gobber is incredibly confused by the glowing dragons. Hiccup explains that they are indeed glowing and more importantly they sent the Flightmare packing. Stoick brings the town out and Hiccup tells them everything they learned about the Flightmare, and confirm that Fearless Finn Hofferson was indeed fearless. Astrid regained her family's honour, there's a last minute on Snotlout's lame subplot, and we see the Flightmare soaring out to sea. 

Summary

Uh, not a bad episode but it wasn't really that good either. The Flightmare was a pretty cool dragon and there was some great action scenes. And there was little moment between Hiccup and Astrid that was great. But Astrid's story in this one was kinda subpar. It was a good plot for her, but I think it was just handled shakily and she said some really lame lines that were supposed to be threatening. 

And the subplot involving the Twins and Snotlout was not that funny. It just felt like pointless filler to fill the episodes 20 minute run.

6/10