Review: Game Of Thrones S05E03 - High Sparrow

This week on Game Of Thrones, Arya has some trouble fitting into the life of a Faceless Man/Woman. Tommen and Margaery "get it on" (lucky bastard), Margaery plays a dangerous game with Cercei, Cercei meets the High Sparrow. In the North, Ramsay Snow Bolton is enagaged, who's the lucky girl? None other than Sansa Stark herself. Jon Snow's new authority as Lord Commander of The Night's Watch is put to it's very first (and certainly not last) test. Jon handles it very well. Tyrion and Ser Jorah (AKA Lord Friendzone) cross paths. 



Warning - This will contain Spoilers from the show and books. 



At the House of Black and White, Arya's new life as a Faceless Man isn't as exciting as she thought it'd be. It mostly involves sweeping the floor, but Jaqen, or rather the "no one" who called himself Jaqen, says all men must serve, and Arya seems to just want to serve herself. It's great to see this actor back, and The House of Black and White just looks stunning. And in a rather ominous bit of dialogue, Jaqen reminds Arya that the one true god is death, just as Arya sees a man who was praying not even 1 minute ago lying dead. Later, we get a funny little scene where Arya's getting smacked around with a stick for calling herself "no one" when she's still holding on to her personal belongings. If Arya wants to be "no one", she has to give up everything. The scene where Arya throws away her belongings is heart-breaking. Or, not at first at least. When she throws away her clothes she's had since season 2, and her stolen silver, that was easy for her. Throwing away the sword that Jon Snow gave her, that wasn't easy. Watching Arya struggle to throw away Needle just hits you. The music, Maise William's performance, it's such a powerful scene. But, you feel glad that she doesn't throw it away at the end. That's one part of her that she just can't find it in herself to let go of. 

Meanwhile in King's Landing, Tommen and Margaery finally get married, in what is probably the only wedding in the whole series that doesn't end with a single death (a very dull affair by Dothraki standards). And then . . . AHH!! That lucky bastard!! Anyway, Margaery and Tommen do the deed, and Margaery begins to manipulate Tommen into sending his mother away. Cercei doesn't appreciate this one bit, and goes to visit Marg and her handmaidens. Lena Headey really sells that Cercei just wants to rip Marg limb from limb, and is only barely managing to keep a level head. The shot of her walking away as Margaery's handmaidens laugh is masterful. 

In Littlefinger's brothel, we get our first glimpse of religious hypocrisy, a rather hilarious one at that, as the High Septon (basically the pope for the Faith Of The Seven) role plays with prostitutes dressed as each of the Seven gods. Kinky old fuck. But in comes the Sparrows, religious fanatics of the Seven, to spoil his fun and drag him naked through the streets. After a complaint from the High Septon, Cercei goes to meet the High Sparrow, played by Jonathan Pryce. Stangely, I don't think I've ever seen anything with Jonathan Pryce before. But, he makes a superb High Sparrow, and his scene with Cercei is great. He believes that Cercei is there to arrest him, only for Cercei to reveal she arrested the High Septon. Cercei wants to hold on to power any way she can, and she sees the High Sparrow as an ally. The only other ally she has is Qyburn, who just gets creepier every episode. especially with FrankenGregor, who he talks to like his little baby. 

The Wall and Winterfell are continuing to be the most interesting storylines of the season. Stannis tries to renew his offer to Jon, but Jon is honourable to a fault. Stannis is disappointed, comparing Jon to Ned, and not as a good thing. Stannis may respect Ned for his honour, but he also realises that honour got Ned killed. Davos tries to convince Jon in another way, saying that as long as the Boltons rule the North, the North will suffer. And in the first real test of Jon's Authority, Janos Slynt behaves like a whiny bitch who refuses Jon's command, and Jon cuts his head off in what is probably the first execution in the show that feels satisfying, especially considering that Janos was a bastard-killer who himself was killed by a bastard. Poetic justice, bitch! So, we get the first happy ending wedding in the show, and we get the first satisfying execution in the the show all in the same episode. Stannis gives his nod of approval to Jon. They're relationship from the books is being portrayed perfectly, and I'm loving it. 

At Winterfell, Roose tells Ramsey that he has a bride for him that will solidify their hold on the North, and that girl is Sansa Stark. Now, I'm a book reader, but FUCK the books in this case! This is far more interesting than anything Sansa did in the books, and far better than having Ramsey's bride be a minor character we don't give two shits about. The fact that Ramsey's bride is to actually be a Stark sister makes me far more invested than if it was Jeyne Poole from the books. It only makes me want Stannis to win his battle for Winterfell even more, or Brienne to get to Winterfell to help Sansa, since we now have an actual Stark in a position to take back everything their family lost. A lot of whiny bitch book readers are probably gonna hate this change, but I for one am digging it. Who knows where this could go? Would you rather have Sansa sitting around the Eyrie doing nothing or Brienne on her oh-so-breathtaking journey around the Riverlands accomplishing nothing? That's what I thought. Besides, we would never get that amazing death-glare Sansa gives Roose Bolton or even Littlefinger's enthralling game of wits with Roose. 

Tyrion meanwhile can't stand to be in that wheelhouse anymore. Him and Varys take a stroll through Volantis, and get a death-glare from a R'hollor priestess trying to gather support for Daenerys. They then walk into a Brothel where a whore dressed as Dany is quite the attraction. Jorah just so happens to be in the very same brothel, no doubt being torn apart inside by the Dany imposter. But he finds hope in Tyrion, who finds he can't find it in himself to bed another whore. And by hope I mean kidnapping Tyrion and handing him over to Daenerys. 


Season 5 Episode rating: 
High Sparrow - 9.5/10
The House of Black and White - 9.5/10
The Wars To Come - 8.5/10