Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 13 - Free Scauldy

The Twins appear to be goofing around on Berf and Belch, shouting and screaming in pure joy. Hiccup tells them to shut the fuck up, they're looking for the Screaming Death and the Twins need to be quiet for more than five seconds, he reminds them of the meeting they had about this. The Twins say they had their own meeting after that, then they get distracted by a dangerous pointy rock. Fishlegs asks how they got stuck with them, Hiccup tells him it was either them or Snotlout. Fishlegs thinks that's a fair point. 

Elsewhere, it looks like Astrid definitely got the shittier deal. Astrid and Snotlout are also patrolling around looking for the Screaming Death, or Astrid is at least. Snotlout prefers staring at Astrid with a creepy Pedo face. He finds it interesting that Astrid chose him as her patrol partner. Astrid reminds him that Hiccup had first and second pick, and he was never her first choice, he wouldn't even be a chouice foor her if it was an option. Snotlout tells her that if that's what she needs to believe, then she can keep telling herself that. His point remains that they're totally alone, Astrid thinks she's not alone enough however. 

Back with Charlie Squad, their patrol has brought them to Changewing Island. Hiccup reminds them of how dangerous Changewings are and the Twins' first thought is to rile them up. Hiccup however has a more 'keep your distance' approach in mind, an approach Fishlegs is all for. At least until they hear a strange roar come from the Island, Hiccup wants to go check it out.

What happened to the 'keep our distance policy'?!
This is bullshit!

As they move closer, they see a Scauldron on the beach. Hiccup wanders what it's doing on land. Ruff and Tuff think it's either catching some rays or perhaps it's having some alone time. Fishlegs thinks it's waiting for some unsuspecting dragon riders to fly in too close so it can blast their asses with it's boiling hot water. Hiccup sees that both those theories are full of shit. The Scauldron has a rock on it's wing and it appears to be hurt. He tells the others that they're moving in. 

The Scauldron looks like it ain't having none of that shit however, and makes some unfriendly gestures at them. The Teens proceed carefully, except the Twins who try to push each other into the Scauldron's grasp then kick the shit out of each other for it. Fishlegs thinks there must have been an earthquake that trapped the Scauldron's wing before it could get the hell out of dodge. Hiccup remembers something very important about Tidal Class dragons like the Scauldron, they can't let their skin dry in the hot sun. Wait, isn't Thornado, a Thunderdrum, a Tidal class dragon? And yet, he pretty much spends all his time out of water. 

Hiccup decides that they have to help the Scauldron, Fishlegs isn't so keen as he is. The way he sees it, it's a choice between boiling hot venomous death one way, or invisible acidic death the other way. A tree closeby is shaking, Fishlegs hides behind Meatlug thinking it's a Changwing but it's just the Twins goofing around. Hiccup tells them to stop fucking around as they need to help the Scauldron. He tells the Twins to lookout for Changewings while he and Toothless free the Scauldron. 

Hey Hiccup, if you die, can I have Toothless?

Hiccup attempts to gain the Scauldron's trust, he sends Toothless away when Toothless antagonises it. Hiccup tries to explain the Scauldron's situation to it and how they can help. The Scauldron attempts to boil his ass in response. This gets the attention of some nearby Changewings looking for something to mess with. 

Hiccup is really taken back by the Scauldron's antagonism, he looks to the others for ideas. Tuffnut suggests blasting the rocks off it's wing. Hiccup thinks that might only cause more harm than good, Ruffnut suggests blasting the rocks off it's wing. Hiccup and Fishlegs give her a very unimpressed look for suggesting something that's already been suggested and shot down. Fishlegs suggests that they get the Scauldron wet, as that probably, might, sort of, maybe calm him down. Tuffnut is about to suggest blasting the rocks off its wings again, but Hiccup punches the shit out of his face before he can. 

Fishlegs and the Twins brings back pales full of water and attempt to pour them on the Scauldron. The Scauldron smacks Barf and Belch with its good wing causing them all to collide and crash land. Hiccup tells them the idea was to get the dragon wet. With that idea being a total failure, Hiccup is all open to suggestions. 

Well, we could always . . .

WE'RE NOT BLASTING ROCKS OFF ITS WINGS
DAMMIT!

As the Scauldron gets louder, the Changewings get closer. The teens are out of options, if the Scauldron won't let them help it, Fishlegs thinks that there's nothing they can do to help it. Hiccup decides they have to leave it to its fate, to the dismay of Ruffnut and their dragons, who ain't having none of that shit. The dragons have a firm 'Leave no man behind' policy and they're staying until the job is done. 

Tuffnut thinks they just have to show the Dragons whose boss. Barf and Belch fling their owners' asses off. Ruffnut ends up right in the clutches of the Scauldron, Hiccup tells her to not move or it'll be using her bones as toothpicks. Ruffnut, for the first time in her life, gives Hiccup her full attention. The Scauldron, for some reason, takes a strange liking to her however. When Barf and Belch and the others try to intervene, it gets pissed off. But it doesn't seem to have a problem with Ruff. Hiccup is confused, Fishlegs suggests that maybe Ruff's hair was the colour of its mother's hair, which is completely nonsensical. 

Tuff then brings up the fact Ruffnut uses fish oil in her hair. Ruff says she does that to maintain her greasy, unwashed look. Hiccup makes no attempt to even try and understand that, but Fishlegs thinks that makes sense. Scauldron's are ocean dwelling dragons, so maybe the smell of fish reminds them of home. I'd think it'd be more likely to eat her than think of home if she smelled like fish, but I'll go with it. And was Hiccup referring to the Scauldron liking Ruffnut or Ruffnut trying to maintain a greasy unwashed look when he said he wouldn't even try to understand that? Regardless, he knows that Ruffnut is their ticket into the Scauldron's good graces. 

Elsewhere, Astrid is scanning the skies for Hiccup and the others, waiting for their rendezvous. She asks Snotlout if he's sees them. 

The only thing I see is you, baby.

There is a million and one places Astrid would rather be at that moment. She'd rather be dead than with Snotlout perving it up. As Snotlout refuses to take a hint and continues to suggest it's not a coincidence that all the danger they've gone though has brought them together, alone. When she decides she's had quite enough of Snotlout's begging for sex, she beats the shit out of him and decides to go look for Hiccup. 

Back with Charlie Squad, Hiccup tries to get Ruff to train the Scauldron. Ruffnut however isn't so confident that she can. Hiccup reminds her it's just like training Barf, she says that's only half a dragon, Tuffnut claims he did most of the work anyway. Hiccup then tries to remind her of all their classes, something Ruffnut has no recollection of. Hiccup tells her that it's when he stands in front of them and tells them about Dragons. Ruffnut seems confused, he didn't realise Hiccup was talking to them. Hiccup at this point looks like he's ready to just give up, but that unfortunately ain't an option here as the Scauldron is drying up quick. 

Hiccup tries to talk Ruffnut through the process. First step, establish a bond. Ruffnut asks with who, Hiccup facepalms himself and tells her the dragon is who she's supposed to bond with. She then asks how she's supposed to bond with it?

Do you shitheads ever pay attention?!

Hiccup suggests giving the dragon a name. Ruffnut comes up with 'Pleasedon'tkillme', Tuffnut suggests 'Scauldingpainfuldeath The Dragon'. Hiccup thinks they could come up with something that's actually a name, and not an explanation of their predicament. Ruffnut eventually just goes with the name . . . Scauldy. With a name, The Scauldron seems responsive. Hiccup and Fishlegs encourage her to go on. She has a conversation with the dragon, but thinks she's failing miserably. 

Turns out she's doing good. Hiccup explains to Ruffnut that she' doing good, she needs to keep talking and reach out her hand to touch the Scauldron. When he demonstrates it, Fishlegs puts his snout to Hiccup's hand like a dragon would. Hiccup thinks that's totally queer, and Toothless ain't having none of that shit. 

Ruffnut attempts to put Hiccup's suggestion to the test, she tries to lift her hand, but Tuffnut screws it up by yelling to her that at least her death will be quick, painless and cool to watch. With such great motivation from Tuffnut, Ruffnut puts her hand up and slowly walks toward Scauldy begging him not to kill her. 

I take it you aren't going to kill me then?

Hiccup is impressed, with Ruffnut seemingly bonding with Scauldy, he moves in to help get the boulder off Scauldy's wings. Scauldy looks like he's having none of that shit, but Ruffnut reassures him. Hiccup may be a bit of a bossy, know-it-all prick, but he's trying to help. Fishlegs wants to stay back and watch out for Changewings, but Hiccup says he needs all of them to help Scauldy. Tuffnut doesn't think they need to worry about Changewing's, if there was any, he'd know. 

Sucker!

Tuffnut may not sense the presence of the Changwing's, but Toothless sure as hell does. Toothless pushes Hiccup out of the way of a Chnagewing's acid and blasts a bitch. The other Changewings advance on Scauldy, who's ready to defend himself in spite of being in a weakened state. 

The Changwing's are moving in and Scauldy is fired up for a brutal confrontation, until Astrid and Snotlout appear out of nowhere and help the teens and their dragons drive away the Changewing's. Tuffnut thinks this is way cooler than what was happening five minutes ago. Astrid asks Hiccup what he hell is going on? Hiccup tells her everything, including that the Scauldron's name is Scauldy. Astrid finds that name incredibly lame, but Hiccup tells her that it was either that or 'Scauldingpainfuldeath The Dragon'. 

Fishlegs reminds everyone that there are some seriously pissed off Changewings that'll be back with the Changewing Mafia at their backs, so they had better do something before they all become smoothies. Hiccup tells Ruffnut to keep Scauldy focused on her, she makes an impression of Hiccup and sings a bed time song about Berserkers stabbing people in the eye and enemies getting gutted. This keeps Scauldy distracted long enough to get the boulders off, but something appears to seriously hurt Scauldy. 

OWWW!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

Although the boulders are off his wing, Scauldy's wing is broken. Ruffnut can't believe they might have went through all that for nothing and Scauldy might be fucked for certain now. Fishlegs thinks there might be a way to fix it, Snotlout sarcastically proposes they use a dragon splint. When Hiccup praises the idea, Snotlout pretends that he didn't suggest it as a joke. Hiccup sends everyone off to find wooden logs, vines, and rope. Tuffnut smacks himself in the face with Hiccup's shield. 

With all the materials at hand, Hiccup looks for volunteers to look out for Changewing's. Snotlout volunteers himself and Astrid who he hopes to have alone again. She twists his wrist and flips his ass over. Fishlegs and Hiccup build the Splint while Ruffnut keeps Scauldy busy. 

Astrid and Snotlout are on patrol, Astrid asks Snotlout if he sees any . . . OK you know where this is going, Snotlout perving it up and kissing his muscles and Astrid rejecting him like always . .  .

You've won me over Snotlout.

???????!!!!

Astrid comes up with an entirely new and ultimately more effective strategy with dealing with Snotlout's moves on her. Instead of beating the shit out of him or insulting him, since he likes fighters apparently, she acts over the top lovable and romantic around him. Snotlout doesn't like this at all, he thinks this is weird and overly gushy, so Astrid's new approach is taking it's toll on him. During this riveting romance of the century, Astrid spots the Changewing Mafia, who are so badass they don't even bother camouflaging themselves. Astrid and Snotlout rush back to warn the others. 

Snotlout gets there first, and tells Hiccup he doesn't understand women.  Astrid tells them about the Changewing Mafia. Fishlegs is almost finished tying the splint, but the vine breaks and the Changewing Mafia has arrived. Fishlegs wants to get the hell out of dodge but Ruffnut refuses to leave Scauldy behind, she asks Hiccup if they can just lift Scauldy. Even if they could, Scauldy can't swim. 

With the Changewing's approaching, the others try to get Ruffnut to leave but she refuses to. Eventually even Scauldy nudges her away. Ruffnut desperately tries to find some way out of this, but then she looks at her hair then at the broken vine. She pulls out a knife. 

The Changewing Mafia makes the scene looking to fuck some motherfuckers up, but find absolutely nothing, only a knife. 

This ain't over till we say it's over! Capiche! 

It turns out Ruffnut cut her hair off with the knife and used it to tie the splint. The Twins are riding over the ocean with Scauldy underneath the waves and holy shit does Ruffnut look weird without her long hair!

Hiccup apologises to Astrid for leaving her with Snotlout, who decided that it wasn't so bad after all since she loves making Snotlout feel uncomfortable. She demonstrates it on Snotlout for Hiccup, but it turns out to have the same effect on Hiccup. Hiccup then asks Ruff and Tuff if they're ready to go home, Ruff says one last goodbye to Scauldy and off they go back to Berk. 

Summary

These last few episodes have been very Twins heavy, and unlike Twinsanity, they've been getting these plots right. Tuffnut got his due, so it was only logical that they dedicate an episode to Ruffnut. And once again, they got it right, for the most part. It's good to see Ruff do something important and get some development and that comment about Hiccup having her attention for the first time was awesome. At some parts the bond between her and Scauldy seemed a bit facepalming but that's just me. I'm a cynical fuck that doesn't like when things are too lovey and mushy. 

The Snotlout-Astrid subplot was basically taking a tired old joke from throughout the entire series and multiplying it by 10. It was still funny, but like I said, it's an old joke that's lost it's punch. Until Astrid completely turns the tables on Snotlout, that was hilarious. 

A great character episode for Ruffnut, and one that was long overdue. 

7.5/10