Dragons Defenders Of Berk Reviews: Episode 17 - Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

It's a foggy day on Berk, Fishlegs jumps in eager anticipation. He yells out that Trader Johann has arrived and quickly boards his ship. Snotlout is not so eager because Johann probably won't let him touch half the cool shit he's got! Hiccup reminds him that's because half the shit he touched ended up broken. Snotlout claims that a bunch of bullshit, it's his word against Johann's. Who are ya gonna trust?

Johann goes through the whole Berk is the best place I've been to shtick and does his business. He shows Fishlegs some rare pearls, Snotlout tells Astrid they can be hers, all she has to do is say the word. Her response is 'Yuck!'. Gobber's looking for something a little different, he tells Johann to make him an offer he can't refuse. Johann looks around for something that'll blow him away, but Gobber finds a pile of scrap metal and is willing to trade for it. 

Tuffnut has found the best Mace he's ever laid eyes on. 

I will call her, Macey! You like that name?

Astrid finds Tuffnut's crush on a mace disturbing. While Gobber and Johann finalise the trade for the Scrap Metal, Toothless gets a good whiff of it. He doesn't like what he smells. Then out of nowhere,  a large crash is heard at the back of the boat. Snotlout is standing beside a ton of broken shit, he claims he didn't do it and walks away. Johann curses at Snotlout and threatens to make a winter coat out of his skin. 

Gobber asks for help from the teens to bring his big ass pile of Scrap metal to his shop. Hiccup gets Astrid, Fishlegs and the Twins on the job. Gobber refuses to let Snotlout help, he's worried Snotlout will drop it in the ocean. The others bring the scrap metal to Gobber's shop, but Toothless ain't liking this at all. 

And for good reason. During the night, a large, familiar looking cloud of fog is moving through the village. In the morning, Hiccup and Toothless are on a little stroll through town, and walk into an agitated village. He meets the others and asks them what's going on. They tell him a whole lot of shit got jacked the night before. Some are taking it very hard. 

Maaaaaaccceeeey!! Maaaaaaceeeeeey!!

Some far more than others. Stoick realises they have quite the situation on their hands. Hiccup tries to put the pieces together. All the things that are missing are axes, shields, and drinking goblets. What do they all have in common? Snotlout's thinks 'that they're all gone!' is a reasonable guess. Hiccup corrects his painfully obvious guess, what they all have in common is that they're all metal. Hiccup has a theory that he's not going to share just yet. 

Gobber informs Stoick that Bucket and Mulch are beating each other with Sturgeons, since their bludgeons have been stolen. Stoick suggests that actually may be for the best in this case. Hiccup tells Stoick to deal with the Sturgeon problem, him and Astrid will go CSI up in this bitch and do some investigating. 

They decide to search Gobber's shop first, since that area has the highest concentration of metal on the island. Hiccup asks Gobber if any suspicious persons have been seen around the premises in the last few days. Gobber says that his business has been booming, since it's only 41 days till Snoggletog. That doesn't help much, as any of those people could have been their suspected metal thief. With no footprints, there's nothing to go on aside from the missing metal. Gobber promises them that Metal Thief ain't gonna get the best of him!

Oh shit!

Next, Hiccup and Astrid pay the Twins a visit. Tuffnut shows them an later her made for his mace, covered in flowers and a few pots. He claimed that's where he left her when she went "missing", he looks at Ruffnut when he says "missing". Ruffnut claims that she never took his stupid ass mace. Tuffnut looks at the alter and remembers how Macey would watch the sunset there, or the wall depending on what side he left her on. Hiccup and Astrid think this is totally queer, even for the Twins. Ruffnut demands they leave her out of Tuffnut's delusions on this one. 

Hiccup and Astrid search the house, but again find no circumstantial evidence. No sign of a forced entry and no footprints were left behind. This doesn't make any sense to them, but Ruffnut thinks she might know what this is. She suggests that it may not be a metal thief they're looking for, it's a ghost metal thief they're looking for. They decide to get the fuck out of that mad house as soon as possible and continue the search the next day. 

That night, the large clouds of fog return and go on another metal thieving spree. The fog makes it way into Hiccup's house and tries to drag him away by his metal leg. Toothless manages to grab hold of Hiccup and pull him away from the fog. He flaps his wings and blows the smoke away. 

Caught red-handed you little shits!

Hiccup has found his metal thief, or rather, his metal thieves! The Smother Smokebreaths make a break for it with all of Hiccup and Stoick's metallic shit. Including Hiccup's breastplate helmet that we haven't seen since forever. But Hiccup refuses to let his helmet get jacked! Toothless blasts a bitch and the Smokebreath's book it. 

In the morning, the rest of the village realises they've been hit once again. Astrid is missing her shoulder pads and the others are missing their helmets. Tuffnut thinks he's managed to draw a picture of the thief this time. He shows a picture of himself, it take the others a few minutes before Tuffnut gets it. 

Hiccup drops by and tells everybody that the thieves are Smothering Smokebreaths. Stoick wanders how Smokebreath's got on the island, since they don't wander too far from Breakneck Bog. They get a pretty good idea when Gobber runs up complaining that all the metal he had and the scrap metal he bought are missing. 

Hint: It's this Guy!

Johann is sitting with some villagers sharing more of his lame ass stories. Stoick and Hiccup approach him and interrogate him. They demand to know where he got the scrap metal. Johann says that he likes to keep his purchases confidential, but Stoick ain't having non of that businessman crap and snarls at Johann. Johann is clearly intimidated as any smart person would be. He tells them that he acquired the metal from a Berserker who was selling it a price he couldn't turn down. With all the information they need, Stoick and Hiccup depart, Toothless gives Johann an aggressive growl.   

The situation is Berk is a total disaster just waiting to happen. Everywhere they look, everybody's everyday tools are falling apart. Gobber does an inventory on the armoury, the axe handles outnumber the axes by a long shot. Stoick realises that this would be a very opportune time for Dagur to strike at Berk. Aside from a few dragons, they're completely defenseless. 

Hiccup gathers the Teens into the arena as he always does when shit like this comes up. He knows what they have to do, find those pesky Smokebreaths and get their weapons back so they can plunge them into Dagur's balls when he lands on their shores! Tuffnut is still crying over Macey and hopes she won't be all alone out there. Snotlout brought out his spare helmet, and Hiccup has a plan on how to find the Smokebreath's, since they're most likely on Berk. They'll gather all the metal they have left and leave it in the arena, then follow the Smokebreath's back to their hideout. Astrid asks if they're gathering all the metal.

Wait, what do you mean . . . all the metal?

   
The teens gather up all the metal that's left and place it in the middle of town, including Snotlout's spare helmet. He wanted to use Hiccup's leg instead, to which Hiccup refused, to which Snotlout suggested they flip a yak pie over it, to which Hiccup once again refused. They wait until the Smokebreath's show up, which they do as expected. Hiccup tells Snotlout and Fishlegs to wait for his signal, then the Twins fuck up his perfect plan by firing at the Smokebreath's ahead of time. 

The Smokebreath's make a break for it, the the Teens hot on their trail. These Smokbreath's turn out to be sneaky little bastards however, constantly outwitting Hiccup and Toothless. Eventually they manages to disable Toothless' tail, forcing Toothless and Hiccup to crash. Hiccup manages to use his shield's grapple hook before they crash. 

Hiccup spots the thieving little shit that stole the connecting rod. Hiccup and Toothless chase his ass down, until Hiccup manges to hook it it with his grappling hook. Although, that doesn't turn out as well as he thought it would. 

I'm immediately regretting this decision!

Toothless manages to bite down on Hiccup's leg (not his metal leg mind you) and pull him back from the Smokebreath, who also drops the connecting rod. As a nice little bonus, they also find the location of the Smokebreath's nest! Hiccup quickly tries to gather up the teens, but Astrid finds him first. He tries to tell her about the Smokebreath nest, but she says it'll have to wait, as they've got far bigger problems. 

Not far from Berk, Dagur's fleet is high tailing it towards the village. Dagur can hardly believe that a bunch of little, pesky scavengers managed to bring Berk to its knees. Savage however claims that it was his idea, but when Dagur threatens him with violence Savage says he probably stole it from Dagur. Dagur is contemplating his certain victory with eager anticipation.    

Pucker up Hiccup! Cuz you're about to become my bitch!

Hiccup looks through his spyglass and sees Dagur's armada. He wanders if Dagur goes anywhere without it. Well, when you have an armada motherfuckers know you mean business. I'd bring it with me wherever I went. So the town has a dilemma on their hands, they need weapons but the Smokbreath's have them. They can't exactly fight them and bring them back before it's too late, and Snotlout has a stupid idea to attack Dagur with only 5 Dragons. 

Tuffnut suggests they cut themselves in half, then there'll be twice as many of them. Astrid asks that he use his head before using his mouth from now on. But Hiccup thinks he's actually on to something. Not the cutting in half crap, but the greater numbers part of that logic. Hiccup thinks he knows a way he can turn Dagur's plan on itself. He tells the villagers to gather up all the metal they can find. Gobber makes his contribution with his hook, he gutted his first Outcast with it. 

The teens drag huge sacks of metal to the Smokebreaths nest. This gets their attention, well that and The Twins making a racket and shouting obscenities. They lure the Smokebreath's toward the ocean. While that's going on, Dagur's fleet is closing in on Berk. Dagur is pacing around impatiently, he thinks there's should be ass-kissing by now. 

QUEER!

As the teens bring the metal towards Dagur's fleet, the Berserkers lock and load for indiscriminate pwning, and Stoick and the villagers arm themselves with whatever they can get their hands on. Logs, fish, boulders, the works. The sudden arrival of Hiccup and the academy will make all that shit unnecessary in a few minutes. 

They bring the metal and the Smokebreaths to Dagur's fleet, and drop their loads onto it. Dagur is confused, he catches a spoon and theorises that perhaps it's a spoon of surrender. Right before a Smokebreath grabs it from his hand. He watches the Smokebreath's dismantle his ships all around him. They leave not a single nail or screw, because they're greedy little bastards. Dagur's fleet sinks, leaving him stranded on a little board. He shoves Savage off because he thinks Savage is a total queer. 

This isn't over Hiccup! You will be my bitch!

With Dagur gone and Tuffnut reunited with macey, now the only thing left to do is deal with the Smokebreath's. Stoick asks Hiccup how he plans on doing that, Hiccup has found an unwilling volunteer who owes them a debt. And that unwilling volunteer would be Trader Johann, who got them into this shit in the first place. 

The teens place the scrap metal on Johann's ship, Johann begs Hiccup to find another solution, Hiccup tells Johann to go fuck himself, and the next stop is Breakneck Bog. 

Summary

The beginning of the episode was very CSI like, with the mystery and the investigating and Tuffnut provided some pretty good comic moments. It was kinda obvious that it was Smothering Smokebreath's, but it was still pretty awesome to see them again, ad the smoke effects were a lot better this time around. 

Dagur's plan to use the Smokebreath's to disarm Berk was very clever and it almost worked. It created another almost dire situation, but Hiccup of course came up with a clever counter to that plan. Dagur, as always, was a riot. 

My only problem is the number of dragons the budget could allow, or at least that's what I assume the problem was. Where are all the dragons from before? Where's Thronado? If these dragons were mentioned, the story of this episode might have gone differently. But I suppose because of budget constraints, they probably couldn't include them. 

8/10