Review: Game Of Thrones S05E07 - The Gift

This week on Game Of Thrones, Jon leaves for Hardhome, leaving Sam in a very unsafe Castle Black. Sansa reaches out to Theon for help. Tyrion and Jorah reach Meereen and are sold to the fighting pits. Olenna speaks to the High Sparrow and Littlefinger. Cercei talks to Margeary and the High Sparrow. 



Warning: Spoilers Ahead (Book and Show)



At Castle Black, Jon is suiting up for Hardhome. He brings Tormund out and unlocks his chains. Jon informs Alliser Thorne that he'll be in command while he's gone. Alliser once again informs Jon of his opinion that this mission is stupid and a big steamy shit on all the brothers who died. Jon simply responds, "As always, thanks for your honesty", as if to say he already knew what Thorne was going to say, and he doesn't care at this point. Before he leaves, Sam gives him a dragonglass dagger, in case of White Walkers. Jon gives Sam a heartfelt farewell hug, and departs. However, Jon's departure is a very bad thing for Sam, and Gilly. 

Aemon lies in bed, dying a slow death. He also seems to be lost in his memories from the past. He appears to think he's talking to his younger brother Aegon. While he's in his last moments, he says, "Aeg, I dreamed that I was old." Some truly touching last words, and Sam's words to him at his funeral are just as touching. This is groundbreaking for the show, as Aemon dies, you know, naturally. Not a sword, axe, dagger, or spear in sight. The moment is spoiled however when Alliser Thorne gives Sam a vague threat, "You're losing your friends Tarly." Sam may not have friends at Castle Black, but he's not about to let a couple of his brother rape Gilly. He's easily beaten however, but I give him credit for trying, and more importantly not backing down. Ghost (Jon's direwolf in case you forgot) manages to scare them off, allowing Sam and Gilly to have a little sexy time. It's a sweet, if incredibly awkward scene. Castle Black is seeing some more sweet moments this episode. 

Sansa on the other hand. It appears she's taking more of the Jeyne Poole role than I believed. However, unlike Jeyne in the books, Sansa is going to be more active in trying to improve her situation. At first she tries to get Theon to light the candle in the tower. Theon however is still Reek, even after Sansa reminds him of who he is. Once again, Sophie Turner and Alfie Allen are knocking it out of the park. In a pretty clever scene that fooled me the first time, it looks like Theon is making his way up the tower to light the candle. Only to find that he's going to spill the beans to Ramsay. Ramsay then summons Sansa, who remains defiant in any small way she can by reminding him that his step-mother is pregnant, and he's only legitimate because of another bastard. Ramsay is noticeably pissed. See, although Sansa definitely has Jeyne Poole's story, she's more defiant and active, even managing to get a sharp object while nobody's looking. But, now we find out why Ramsay summoned Sansa. To show her the flayed corpse of the old woman who told Sansa to light the candle. Sansa is distraught,  as now she has no friends in Winterfell. 

The only friends she has are outside Winterfell, Brienne and Stannis. Brienne is waiting for a botched plan, while Stannis and his army are bogged down in the snow. After Davos surveys the sorry state Stannis' army is in, he breaks the bad news to Stannis. Over forty horses have died, and more will die by the end of the day. Worse, The Stormcrows (nice reference to the books), a sellsword company of five hundred men, have abandoned them. Davos suggests they head back to Castle Black. But Stannis is having none of it. He knows if he retreats now, he gives up his momentum to winter as Castle Black. He remains determined to march forward, Snow storms, dying horses and starvation be damned! But, he's still not above turning to Melisandre for guidance. But she suggests burning Shireen. But Shireen is no Renly or Gendry, she is Stannis' daughter. He refuses to, and tells Melisandre to get the fuck out! I don't know, I really hope Stannis doesn't go there. 

In Meereen, Jorah and Tyrion are being auctioned to some Slavers. One man bids 20 gold coins for Jorah. But Tyrion tries to convince the slaver to buy him to, claiming he can fight to. After a few laughs from the crowd, Tyrion beats the shit out of his chain-holder to demonstrate his prowess. The Slaver (or is it slave-owner?) buys Tyrion as well. Daenerys, after another pillow-talk scene with Daario, goes to inspect the new pit fighters. As it just so happens, Tyrion and Jorah are set to be in the inspection lot. After kicking some ass, Jorah reveals himself to Dany. At first she seems almost happy to see her old friend again, but then her anger returns and she wants him out of her sight. But then, Jorah tells her he brought her a gift. Tyrion is the gift, as he introduces himself to Dany face-to-face. And it's every bit as glorious as you could hope for. They haven't met in the books yet, they really should have. Just because George RR Martin wastes his time, that doesn't mean Dave and Dan have to. 

Speaking of which, there's something else that could be described as a waste of time, and that would be Dorne. I don't think it is, sure it hasn't been the most stellar storyline, it isn't terrible but I think this episode offers hope. Hotah allows Jaime to have a talk with Myrcella, but he finds that she likes it in Dorne and she doesn't want to go back. Despite the Sand Snake's attempted kidnapping. When says he doesn't understand, Myrcella's like, "Of course you don't! You don't know me." Ouch. Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Bronn is singing the Dornishman's Wife. Tyene Sand thinks he's good, Obara and Nymeria don't give a shit. Tyene then tries to seduce Bronn (and holy shit she's got a nice pair of tits!), but only to get his blood pumping for the poison in it to work faster. Tyene gives Bronn the antidote, but only after he says she's the most beautiful girl he's seen. Honestly, beast death ever if this was how he died. A lot of people have been kinda harsh on the Sand Snakes in previous episodes, and I can certainly see why, but this was actually a pretty good scene. The potential is finally showing. 

In King's Landing, Olenna confronts the High Sparrow. She thinks she has him pegged, but it turns out he's exactly what he says he is, a man of the people, and a servant of the gods. There's nothing she can say or do that will convince him to release Loras and Margaery. I almost find it impossible not to like the High Sparrow, religious zealotry and all. But Olenna ain't one to give up, if she can't get her grandchildren out, she'll make Cercei pay for their imprisonment. Who just so happens to be talking to a distraught Tommen about that imprisonment. Tommen starts at act a little like Joffery, and considers killing all the sparrows. But in the end, he's still a boy who finds himself powerless to do anything. Cercei tells him she'll meet with the High Sparrow. After a little visit with Margaery, who tells her to fuck off with her nice lady bullshit, she does just that. The High Sparrow tells her of the history of the sept, as a metaphor for what he's about to do to her. Holy fuck, it's happening? The High Sparrow then brings in Lancel, who appears to have spilled the beans on his relations with Cercei, and what happened to the King. The HS has her arrested, and thrown into a cell. You know that this means? . . . 

. . .

. . . 

. . . 

 . . .

PARTY TIME YA'LL!!!!!! 

WOOOOOOO! It's finally happened!

Ah man, was that scene satisfying. Are we supposed to hate the High Sparrow? Because right now, he's my personal hero. One of them anyway. 

Season 5 Episode rating: 
The Gift - 10/10 Dorne is showing more promise, Aemon's death hit right in the feels, Tyrion and Daenerys meeting was every bit as glorious as I hoped it would be, and we get the most satisfying scene since Joffery was poisoned. 
Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken - 9/10 
Kill The Boy - 10/10 
Sons Of The Harpy - 10/10
High Sparrow - 9.5/10
The House of Black and White - 9.5/10
The Wars To Come - 8.5/10